GwenMarie30

I could just pull my hair out somedays! As some of you may remember that I have 14yo and 11 yo girls. Lets see how long this rant will go.........

My oldest over the summer decided to experiment with getting drunk and high on pot with the neighbor girl. Otherwise she seems to have cleaned her act up. As a matter of fact last friday I found myself at the police station at the request of daughter. *&$@! Turns out 2 of her friends came over stinking drunk and did damage to her dads house. A 40 yo nurse contributed alcohol to these 2 girls. Dad was in a rage and called other 2 girls parents and took Savannah to police station for breathalizer test. Savavnnah didnt want to do it but once I showed up I explained she violated her dads trust in her and if she didnt drink then there was nothing to worry about. Her complaint was that it was embarrasing. Conciquences of her actions I said. So she followed my lead and said she would. Thats my girl. She made leaps and bounds in gaining respect and trust. Dad said that ok, he would believe her. She insisted on breathilizer to prove herself. She passed-knew she would! But she even stood in the face of the other 2 girls parents and spoke the truth of the situation. The girls were so drunk the one was passed out cold and the other fell out of the parents SUV in front of the cop. Those parents filed charges on the woman who gave the girls the alcohol. Savannah walked away feeling good about herself and thanked me for being on her side and just being there! Warm fuzzy's here!


Now, the other daughter.....

Kelsey is the 11yo. She was caught shoplifting over the summer at Six Flags and now she got In School Suspension for putting ketchup packets under toilet seat in the bathroom stalls not once but twice. And then had the audacity to sit and lie and blame 2 other girls and also laughing and bragging about it while waiting to talk to the principle! She came home with a dont give a flip attitiude. Even grama talking to her just "made her mad". So Im at wits end with her. Grounding dont work. Spanking with a paddle? Wnt do any good either except to make her mre angry at this point. Her attitude is always so negative. Complains about everything, nothing good comes out of her mouth, and is always angry and doesnt know why. I called the counselors at school and they will be talking to her and maybe getting her some outside therapy. I remember from my last thread in regards to her shop lifting was some books that some of you had suggested at the library. I will go back and check out those refrences.

Ok, wow that was really long and somehow I just dont feel any better yet.

Ann

It sounds like you have your hands full, Gwen Marie.

I don't have any answers, I never raised teenage girls, but I have some hugs and a shoulder to lean on.

Hugs

helpus

GwenMarie, I am glad the parents file charges. I have raised 4 girls. I am at the light at the end of the tunnel. Things are wondreful, but dang it was quite a journey! Follow your gut. You will get through this,

SlvrMag

I have a 13 yr old girl, it just keeps getting harder by the day.

baxter

Three girls here. Oh, the stories I could tell. Good Luck and I think counseling is a good start. Lots of changes going on at that age especially when you have an older sister.

rozied

Gwen Matie, Boy it sure is hard raising kids............teenage daughters sound like some trip.
Counseling sounds like a good idea. Trust you instincts & be tough..........remember if you are soft no good comes of it.
Love & Hugh Hugs,
Diane

NeedingHelp7

Don't give up Gwen. Hold on for rollercoaster ride for the next few years. Don't let em get away with anything! These are going to be the hardest years of your life. Your doin' good so far. I know it's nerve wracking. You just want to sit down and take a breather, and then it's the next one. I know I had girl and boy teens together, just as one was getting through 5yrs of hell 13-18, then other turned 13, he's now 18 and gone. I spent all those years teaching them good character, faith, good morals. Well that all went out the window when they turned teens. They drove me totally nuts, and so did thier friends. My daughter at age 18 returned to sanity, turned back to her good roots, and at age 23 I'm not so worried about her....but son is still out there....

Huggs, you will need lots of good moral support because they will give you none.

itiswhatitis...

HI Gwen

it's been awhile and i just wanted to say hi - as the mom of a 14 yr old daughter i can empathize - geez it's hard being a mom - my daughter's friends have all taken to piercing their own belly button's - can you iMAGine - i told H she could ger her nose pierced but if she pierced something herself she's on her own - i can only imagine an infected belly button would be the most disgusting thing in the world - but that's just me...

h went through a phase of disrespectfulness - wanted to be a slu##y alice in wonderland for halloween - i asked if she really wanted people to think of her in that way - it's her life wouldn't she really rather think highly of her than to think of her as some skanky teenager - there's plenty of those around - maybe you could point out to your younger daughter the positive choice your older daughter made and how she has the respect of those around her for doing the right thing - or she could continue to do what she's been doing and land in jail - is that really where she wants to be??????

i know it's easy for kids to forget the adage *learn from my mistakes* coming from a parent but maybe, just maybe she'll listen...

good luck and it's good to see you...

love,
s

lagrutke

Hi GwenMarie, I new to the site but I feel for you with your kids. Sounds like your 14 yo is on the right track. I agree with itiswhatisis and you should point out the choice your 14 yo made to your 11 yo, not comparing them, but showing what positive feedback she is receiving. I would definitely get some counseling for your 11 yo as she is acting out and trying to get attention, even negative attention. Good luck!