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17 days sober

Old 10-06-2008, 10:23 AM
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Just another day...
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17 days sober

Hello!

Well sat. night I went out with the hubby to a festival and bonfire. I did not drink but I tell you what, it was so hard. As the night goes on at the festival people are just buying drinks and many times a beer ended up in my hands and I passed it on...the pain in giving the beer away..it used to be a joke of "alcohol abuse" if u spilled ur beer or did not finish it...sigh..some joke. But I made it through and watched and listened to the stories and people repeating themselves over and over, the drunk young girls wanting to show off their boobs to whatever guy would look, the drunk friend we took with us that wanted to fight everyone. The other drunk friend that went on a beer run and no one knew she was drunk till she got lost on a road she travels on EVERYDAY. The DRAMA! My husband and 2 other people went in on a case and a half..mind u im sipping my diet pepsi feeling antsy and like I just drank a ton of caffeine..couldnt sit still for nothing...and someone stole all the beer out of the cooler that was in the back of the truck! omg! drunks! lol There were a handful of people that didnt drink...not all recovering alcoholics, they just dont drink. I did find out that a guy that used to live with us, we had to kick out because his drinking turned to drugs and I didnt want my son to come across his drugs, is trying to be sober. He was driving the hay wagon at the bonfire..taking all the drunks to the bar...sigh..that was me last year...now this year it was someone else that lost their purse, jewelry(i lost my wedding ring one year on the hay ride..did find it tho), camera, of course many times i misplaced my drink and had to get a new one. This time I knew where all my stuff was. I came home with no pizza sauce dripping down my shirt as that late night little ceasers pizza gets passed around. Of course I got asked a million times..why wasnt I drinking..i started saying I quit but I got stupid comments for that...the oh yeah, right, how long will that last, u will be drinking before the nights over. So it was easier to say i wasnt drinking because of the medication I was on...lol...the comments stopped after that, instead I got oh that sucks. Amazing. Its like ur a freak if u quit drinking. I must have built one heck of a reputation with my drinking. Next morning I felt great..hubby was hungover. It made all the antsy feelings and stupid comments worth it. As i went and read peoples myspace comments..they were all hungover...i had to laugh.

I have figured out tho, I dont think Im that ready yet to go out on a regular basis and be around the drinking. I did get bored, a lot. And everytime a beer was in my hands it took everything I had to not take a sip..one taste and I would have been done for...but its only been 17 days now... On the plus side, without me drinking we spent less money. I am taking today for just me. I am doing nothing that involves cleaning my house or anything like that. No school work, nada. Tomorrow I am meeting a friend to get started on working out. I for surely need that as it seems I have replaced alcohol with anything that is high in carbs..bread, pasta, ice cream, little debbies swiss cake rolls, candy...my will power is out the window when it comes to control with sweets...i think well im not drinking..no, im becoming diabetic instead...lol...time to nip that in the ass.

I cant say these 17 days have been easy. It is ok when Im busy. Hunting season was the time I would get drunk, by myself. So this hunting season, Im not and Im in bed by 9pm. At least I try. If I cant I get on this site and read. It seems like I picked a bad time with the stress of school...but then again I guess anytime would be a bad time. I have felt up and down physically and mentally. A few days ago when my husband got home we went to a tractor supply to get dog food. Driving back I was looking at the farms and my husband says what r u looking at? I said im looking for our dog and then I bursted into tears...crying moments seem to be more. Before it was have a beer and wash ur sorrows away. Physically I have been waking up with headaches. Had my first migraine last wed. That was horrible. I was going to go to the hospital cuz there it was 10pm and I was in so much pain, light hurt my eyes, my son got worried and said he worries that Im not going to be around much longer. The pain finally went away. I dont have health insurance so running to the dr for everything I cant do. My last dr bill was $400 and Im still paying on that. So my mom is getting me a credit card to her account and Im supposed to be going to the drs when I get it. So hopefully in the next week or two. One day at a time.

Thanks for reading this long post. I felt the need to share. I hope everyone has a great week!
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Old 10-06-2008, 10:29 AM
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Welcome Fiona!
Congrats on 17 days and making it through that night.
Yeah, that did not sound like fun to me. I actually have not been around a drunk person even one since I got sober 5 months ago. Wow! Was I always the only one drunk?
I have been around drinking, but no drunkenness, luckily.
Are you going to any meetings or participating in any other form of recovery other than SR?
The positive affirmation of hanging out with other sober people really help me.

Welcome again! :ghug3
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Old 10-06-2008, 12:42 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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The only time I perferred drunks for companionship
was when I was also a drunk.

Glad you came home sober..
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Old 10-06-2008, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Fiona630 View Post
I have figured out tho, I dont think Im that ready yet to go out on a regular basis and be around the drinking. I did get bored, a lot.
Isn't that funny how that happens? Its just not a fun as it was when I was drunk too. I'd rather stay home, get in bed with a bowl of ice cream and watch a movie!

Good job for being so strong! That is the ultimate test!
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Old 10-06-2008, 01:08 PM
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SO proud of your seventeen days girl, God knows its not always a cake walk..speaking of cake lol I too indulged alot in sweets after I got sober, I was told its because alchohol has so much sugar that when your detoxing for the booze your also saying buh bye to all that sugar..so for about two months it seemed I couldnt eat enought candy bars and cupcakes etc..but it definetly subsided ...Well last year after Thnaksgiving I got sober..stayed sober for three months..then slowly fell off that victory wagon and was drinking again for another six months...Now I am sober again and am at almost two months..I feel really strong this time- Heres why- Last time I still continued my normal social outings and obligations..and like you was always gratefull the next day to be sober and clear headed while all my friends were hung over..but it was really difficult to be in that scene...Its like I was trying so hard to prove to myself and others that I could be strong, and I didnt need a drink...but you know that saying hang out in a barber shop long enough and youll get a haircut..it ended up being the demise of my sobriety...Not only was I bored and annoyed the entire time I was out sipping my soda water and diet cokes, but the initial entertainment of watching all the silly drunks started to get to me..it became very sad and disturbing..I got tired of being the chaufer toting all the drunkerds around..I was tired at eleven but ended up staying out until two..because I was still fun without booze right? Well, I learned that I am more fun without booze..and I dont need to hang out in a bar or whith a bunch of drunkies to prove I can still hang..Its miserable when no one else is on your level..and its endargerment to your sobriety..My life now is more simple and "boring" and thanks god, I love it this way. Glad to hear your going to the gym..do whatever you can to stay healthy and away from those toxic drunk situations...I started yoga, and I read more and watched more movies..and I treated myself to a little shopping spree once a month. Instead of wasting a hundred bucks a month on booze, I will buy a few cute shirts or a pair of shoes I want..and not feel guilty about it.....and of course..I go to AA meetings....this time I am working the steps and am going to get a sponser..Good luck to you and hang in there your not alone
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Old 10-06-2008, 02:38 PM
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Just another day...
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Thanks everyone...it does suck to be around drunks. And i do not like being asked to go for beer runs...they are the ones drinking it not me..leave me out of it...course then they send the drunkest girl..had I known she was that drunk I would have taken her...I felt bad for that. But I agree...the drunks are toxic and not fun when ur not drunk too. Amazing how things look in the eyes of a drunk...wow. I used to love and sit and watch movies by myself with my beer..oh I would get so sappy and that was the greatest movie ever. I would convince my hubby to watch it and he would say..u were drunk when u watched this werent u? Id have to admit I was cuz the movie would SUCK! All we can do is "just keep swimming" day by day or some days its minute by minute..now is the time I would open up a beer...dinner is served, homework done, husband gone to hunt...instead my son and I are going up to the local park..im going to walk and he is going to ride his bike...U know, we used to know someone that did drink..he got into a really bad accident, got hurt pretty bad...he dove into a shallow end of a pool and broke his neck while on a vacation, being drunk and pool hoping...he never could stay still. If he came to parties he never stayed long. Same with bars. U might see him for maybe an hour max and he would leave. He might even drink some Odouls, to fit in. He and my hubby hunted a lot and fished. Slowly but surely he kind of disappeared from everyone...His g/f had told me he was getting really tired of all the drunks. He would go on canoe trips with a bunch of people and he wants to sleep to canoe in the morning and everyone else is getting drunk. He made new sober friends. got rid of the ones that drink. Anyways..off we go to digest dinner while my son talks my ear off about how cool it would be if everything was free.
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Old 10-06-2008, 02:50 PM
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Interesting subject bring up here. I know for me I don't have any friends that don't drink. That is all they do. My folks both drink a lot, my 10 best friends all do too. At least 3 of my friends are alcoholics. You don't just have to say goodbye to the drink, you have to say goodbye to your friends to some degree don't you? That is hard. But it has to be done, I remember earlier this year when I stopped for 45 days, I hated being around a bunch of drunks when I wasn't drinking. Smelly breath, acting stupid. I think I'm gonna make an effort to call my buddy Brian up who doesn't drink at all to see what he and his family are doing this weekend or maybe Friday night. I want to plan to do something that doesn't involve drinking. Do any of you have any non drinking friends? I have pretty much none.
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Old 10-06-2008, 04:20 PM
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Great job Fiona.

The parallels between your story and mine are eerie.

I think you read about me wanting to go out to the bar the other night, just to see friends, and my decision ultimately not to.

We both realize that there are going to be changes, but they are for the better.

Keep up the great work!
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Old 10-06-2008, 05:32 PM
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Great job, fellow Michigander I finally decided that I couldn't go around place where drinking was happening for a while this time around. The last two times I did I ended up eventually picking up and going back into the hell that is this disease. But I do remember being absolutely appalled at the actions of all of those "friends" of mine when I was sober and they were drunk and stupid. I am so grateful I don't have to drink anymore. Prayers coming your way!
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Old 10-06-2008, 06:42 PM
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thanks for your post FIONA (like in shrek?)!

I read the whole thing. you did so good under almost impossible circumstances. although sometimes watching drunki people does make me not want to drink...but other times it makes me want to join them--to loosen up per say
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Old 10-06-2008, 07:35 PM
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I am reading this post as my half in the bag husband watches football!! I am 6 months sober this week and looking at him drinking has gone from anger, to longing, to disgust, and now pity. I wish he could see how crappy he acts. Is that how I acted? I guess so. Seeing him drink does keep me sober, damn if he is going to make me drink. I try not to be preachy but I am about done with the present situation. I decided to put my sobriety and recovery first and that has been what has kept me sober one day at a time. He tries to remind me of when I was drinking to keep me from critizing him, but I just tell him that was then this is now!
You can do it! Use others drunkeness as your strength. Your proof that you are way better than that!!!!
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Old 10-06-2008, 08:46 PM
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Fiona....you said it best...."One day at a Time". It sounds like you have your head in just the right spot.

And the part about, "being tired of all the drunks"...maybe we need to watch them more, so we appreciate our sobriety just a little bit more. :-)

You're on the right path. Keep going.
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Old 10-07-2008, 07:21 AM
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Just another day...
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Hello all!

I know that I dont have many friends that do NOT drink. I have one or two that I can do things with that dont involve drinking but most of them drink and only want to go out to the bars. Or if they say hey lets have a girls day..that will involve shopping then going to eat and getting drunk. I think the drunks might have a way of weeding themselves out of the sober persons life, esp. if we stay away from those activities where all the drinking happens at.

A few of u mentioned about watching other drunks while sober...I too would think omg! did i do that? why didnt someone smack me?! oh wait, cuz they were doing it too! What stupid things we do when drunk. My excuse used to be that I needed to loosen up and not be so shy..I have since realized that Im not as shy as I thought...it was just an excuse to drink, then it became a habit.

ksplash5...yup, fiona is from shrek..when it first came out my son used to say please pretty princess fiona queen mommie can i .....lol. Then we ended up having a pet rat named fiona. Ive used that and my dogs name, Videlia, for screen names for things. lol

Beingjenagain talked about trying not to preach..lol...I caught myself a few times wanting to say on sat. night..well if u were sober like ME, u would have understood what so and so said. The next day when hubby was hungover and having to drive 4 hours to his hunting camp I did say well u knew u had to leave early, its ur own fault u feel like crap. I hate that smell that lingers on drunk people. Another thing I wonder...how many times have I shown up at my moms to get my son just stinking up of stale beer? That must have been just great. Hair all over the place, make up smeared..i look in the mirror, still half drunk, and think oh hell, I look great! Im just gonna run over there like this! nice.

Thanks to all for your encouragement! On to day 18!
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Old 10-07-2008, 07:59 AM
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Congrats on 18 days Fiona.

Several folks in this thread have mentioned having no sober friends, losing all thier drinking friends, etc.

You know one of the best things I have found out in sobriety is what REAL freinds are and what drinking buddies are. A real friend if I tell them I have quit drinking will support me in my decision, if they have me over they will not drink nor try and talk me into drinking.

A drinking buddy once they find out you will not drink with them is gone!

I have found good solid sober friends in AA, fun people who like doing fun things, not sitting in a bar or at a party getting drunk, they enjoy living life!!!!

I did not lose a single friend when I got sober, I lost drinking buddies, I have gained a ton of REAL freinds in sobriety.
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