tanyapmc

I just need to "talk"

I am stressed beyond belief. As many of you know my Mom fell and broke her arm (badly) 4 weeks ago. I am her only child and my dad is 82 and has had 2 strokes. So it has all been on me for the last month.

First she fell, and then hurricane Ike hit. We had to evacuate to my grandfathers house. Then I brought her back for surgery. My husband went and got my dad after her surgery.

I live about an hour away. I was staying at their house and then started driving back and forth daily.

On Friday I took her to the doctor and he immediately admitted her to the hospital and did surgery. Her wound is infected. So I have been with my dad all weekend. I just talked to her on the phone and she has to stay in the hospital. The antibiotics they had her on are not the right kind. They got her cultures back and now know what kind of antibiotics she needs to be on.

I miss my life.

My town is completely devastated by hurricane Ike. Everytime I drive through there I just cry.

I am taking 3 classes this semester and guess I need to drop them.

I am in charge of a fund-raiser this Saturday at the building where I go to meetings.

My sponsor just left for 6 weeks for a job.

I just don't know what to do next. I usually go to a meeting everyday and have not been able to do that.

I just needed to get all of this out.

Oh, I have also been in charge of handing out my Mom's Xanax and Vicodin to her. These were my drug of choice. I have been clean and sober for about 20 months and all of this seems like alot to carry.

Thanks for reading. It is obvious to me that I need a meeting and need to find some gratitude!

Oh, and my husband went to play in a golf tourney today and that just irritates the fire out of me!

Anna

Wow! Tanya, I'm so glad you posted and that is so much to deal with!

It's sad to see that you are losing yourself and your life, because you are giving so much time and energy to your parents. Would it be possible to hire a caregiver (even a neighborhood teenager) to help out with your Dad and Mom? At least, it might give you time to continue your classes.

I don't know what else to suggest, but I know that you need to take care of yourself too.

bostonluv

Tanya -

I'm glad you posted. There is a lot on your plate. I hope you can get to a meeting today.

Kathleen

laurie6781

Please find the nearest Hospice, give them a call, and ask about RESPITE RELIEF.

They have volunteers that will come in and give relief to primary care givers, thus allowing you to get to a meeting, or just go sit in a park and for some peace and quiet.

With your sponsor out of town now is the time, that all those phone numbers you have collected are going to come in very handy.

STOP. Take some SLOW, DEEP BREATHS, 10 of them. Then do it again. \

These are the times when the work "TRUDGIN" takes on new meaning. Sounds like you may even have a gator or two nipping at your butt.

I have PM'd you.

Love and hugs,

Latte

Sometimes it just helps to get it all out.

Can you get a temp sponsor? I'm temporarily sponsoring about 3 people while their sponsors are in the lower 48. I am not doing any serious work with them, but they call me when they need me and check in and stop by for coffee often. Just an extra support person if you will.

Aysha

Thats a whole lot of stuff to deal with Tanya.
Not much to add. Just hope you find some relief soon.
Hang in there. HUGS

least

Yes, please do call Hospice. You must take care of your own health. You can't care for your parents if you are collapsing in on yourself.

lots of love to you!

:ghug3

Ananda

Tano.....I really liked the suggestion of a temp sponosr...doesn't even have to be that formal. I have had a lot to deal with recently including taking pain meds after a surgery...so my sponsor had me committ to calling one person daily while she was out of town the last 3 days. And she gave a good amount of background on where i was at so that i could have solid support. We don't always do that but seemed good at this time.

You do have a lot going on! Believe me...even a "normie" would be struggling. If hospic isn't an option, maybe a church that you or your parents have some connection to could provide someone to go sit with your folks while you go to a meeting each day.

And yes...call those numbers...and yes...post here.

Think of you :ghug3

espresso

Tanya, don't really think I can add anything to what has already been posted so I'm sending you BIG HUGS
:ghug3

Impurrfect

((Tanya))

Lots of great suggestions above, so I'm just sending more hugs and prayers that you can get some "Tanya time" soon.

Amy

Lenina

tan,

Hugs to you. You're on my list for special thoughts. Please take care of yourself. Don't overload the lifeboat! I also cared for my very ill mother for the last 18 month of her life. I didn't know about "Respite Care." As someone suggested, check it out. Just having a few hours to collect your own thoughts, get your hair done or whatever, can make a huge difference.

And continue to post here. We are here for you!

Love,

Lenina

stone

Aww Tan!

Anna and Laurie have given some good practical ideas, please think about them.

You are having to deal with a lot of stress, too much really. Please look after yourself!

Horselover

Tanya - Put on your life jacket first. Take special care of you and do take Laurie's good suggestions. :ghug3

Missymae737

Tanya,

I am sending love, strength and support your way...You DO have a lot on your plate...If I was in your situation, I don't know if I would have the willpower to stay away from those pills that have been given to you, to act responsibly towards your parent and dispense them...I am not responsible when it comes to pills...

You are doing the right thing in coming here..I have faith in you...You will get through this...

Rowan

I have faith in you too, Tanho. You've been given some great suggestions - I hope you find something that works. In the meantime, I'm sending you hugs across the miles. Lean on your HP, SR, and others in recovery to help you through this. It's wonderful to see you reaching out. :ghug3

Alive

thinking of you Tanya,

tanyapmc

Thanks everyone! I am going to look up Respite Relief and also look into finding someone around here to hire.

My Mom is still in the hospital. I was hoping she would get out today. She has to have a different antibiotic than the one she was on. So...time will tell.

I am planning on going to school in the morning and I may drop my Wednesday night class. It's just too much driving for right now.

Thanks again, I did some "retail" therapy today. In other words......I WENT SHOPPING!

Rowan

Atta girl Tanho!

Ananda

yeah tano!!!!!!!

shopping is a great anxiety reliever! I decided to wait till my sponsor got back in town and my surgury is a little more healed to go on a shoping spree at dillards justified by the fact I double paid the bill and have a credit balance

Tano you should consider buying some cute sexy shoes...they are currently my favorite answer to every problem.

glad you're perkin up a little 8

Dee74

hey Tan

I know you can deal with all of this and more, but mebbe look into some of the ideas here and I hope that things will get better soon

D