Sunday reflection
Sober since 9th May 2008
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
Sunday reflection
150 days, thats how long I've been sober as of today, not really that long when I think about it, longer though than any time I've been sober in the last 18 years probably.
Managed 10 weeks in summer 2007 and apart from that no more than a few days here and there.
Not that long in days but today I was just thinking to myself how far I've come in terms of my journey.
I used to drink a minimum of a half bottle of vodka a day ( throughout the week I'd buy it by the half bottle in order to keep to that ) but at the weekends I got a bit more out of hand. Would normally buy a litre bottle on a saturday with the idea that it got me through the saturday and sunday.
The vodka was always hidden and drunk in secret, I'd always have some cans of beer on the go which was what people saw me drink.
The litre bottle often didn't last me though and I'd be waiting at 12.30 ( in the UK you can't buy alcohol on a sunday untill then ) to be able to buy more to see me through.
The reason sunday was always different for me was it was the one day when I didn't suffer, I'd never drink and then work although I have been at work still ........... from the night before or really hungover.
Sunday's though, if I felt rough I'd just start drinking again straight away, wasn't unknown for me to have a beer at 7.00 am before the family were up and then pouring some vodka ( presuming I'd some left) into a oj carton, before taking a shower in the en-suite, then joining the family for breakfast glowing so to speak.
In fact looking back I spent a lot of time locked in the en-suite sneaking vodka, quite sad, funny don't think of myself as a sad person.
How great it is to have that behind me, no sneaking, lying, worrying about getting empty bottles discretly discarded.
No more panic attacks on a sunday night when I realise there's no way I'm going to be in much of a state for work the next day.
Just a great normal day spent with my wife and children today.
Thing is, there will be millions of people all over the world who feel like this every day and just take it for granted as they've never experienced having a problem with alcohol, and they'll never know how lucky they are.
Sorry for the self indulgent post folks, I'll go back to just taking the micky tomorrow - promise
Managed 10 weeks in summer 2007 and apart from that no more than a few days here and there.
Not that long in days but today I was just thinking to myself how far I've come in terms of my journey.
I used to drink a minimum of a half bottle of vodka a day ( throughout the week I'd buy it by the half bottle in order to keep to that ) but at the weekends I got a bit more out of hand. Would normally buy a litre bottle on a saturday with the idea that it got me through the saturday and sunday.
The vodka was always hidden and drunk in secret, I'd always have some cans of beer on the go which was what people saw me drink.
The litre bottle often didn't last me though and I'd be waiting at 12.30 ( in the UK you can't buy alcohol on a sunday untill then ) to be able to buy more to see me through.
The reason sunday was always different for me was it was the one day when I didn't suffer, I'd never drink and then work although I have been at work still ........... from the night before or really hungover.
Sunday's though, if I felt rough I'd just start drinking again straight away, wasn't unknown for me to have a beer at 7.00 am before the family were up and then pouring some vodka ( presuming I'd some left) into a oj carton, before taking a shower in the en-suite, then joining the family for breakfast glowing so to speak.
In fact looking back I spent a lot of time locked in the en-suite sneaking vodka, quite sad, funny don't think of myself as a sad person.
How great it is to have that behind me, no sneaking, lying, worrying about getting empty bottles discretly discarded.
No more panic attacks on a sunday night when I realise there's no way I'm going to be in much of a state for work the next day.
Just a great normal day spent with my wife and children today.
Thing is, there will be millions of people all over the world who feel like this every day and just take it for granted as they've never experienced having a problem with alcohol, and they'll never know how lucky they are.
Sorry for the self indulgent post folks, I'll go back to just taking the micky tomorrow - promise
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Originally Posted by FizzyWater 
Thing is, there will be millions of people all over the world who feel like this every day and just take it for granted as they've never experienced having a problem with alcohol, and they'll never know how lucky they are.
Maybe some things - including addiction - DO happen for a reason... Thanks for posting this. 
Beginning to Live again
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: austin, TX
Posts: 15
Fizzy, what a heartfelt post. I believe, as long as we're fighting the addiction, we should remind ourselves what a strong hold it had on us and the things we were willing to do to chase after our drug of choice.
150 days is HUGE. I hope your Sunday is positive and encouraging. Your post certainly encouraged me.
150 days is HUGE. I hope your Sunday is positive and encouraging. Your post certainly encouraged me.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Thanks Fizzy for that straight from the heart post. You are an amazing guy. Glad you found SR and share so often and make us laugh. We all need to laugh, but I have to say I like your serious side too. :ghug3
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
... and somehow we convinced ourselves that if we kept it hidden no one would know.
At least in my case I was cautious about hiding bottles and keeping my breath covered. Thinking "my girlfriend will never know" and somehow suspect nothing when I'm lying passed out on the living room carpet at 7pm.
At least in my case I was cautious about hiding bottles and keeping my breath covered. Thinking "my girlfriend will never know" and somehow suspect nothing when I'm lying passed out on the living room carpet at 7pm.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
Originally Posted by mattcake79
Not a pissing contest, but maybe you are even luckier... cos you can appreciate and be grateful for every moment Maybe some things - including addiction - DO happen for a reason... Thanks for posting this.
Maybe some things - including addiction - DO happen for a reason... Thanks for posting this.I gotta like that logic!
Thanks Fizzy!
Sober since 9th May 2008
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
Mattcake, thats a great shout.
I support a fairly rubbish football team, the disapointments make the wins all the more sweeter.
Thought that for years but never applied the same logic to my own life.
You certainly do appreciate feeling well after years of not, reckon you do have to have some hard times to really enjoy the good.
Long may it last.
Thanks to all the nice responses everyone.
Reckon my latter years of drinking are just the average story of a drunken joe, nothing special.
Its where we go from here that is important.
I support a fairly rubbish football team, the disapointments make the wins all the more sweeter.
Thought that for years but never applied the same logic to my own life.
You certainly do appreciate feeling well after years of not, reckon you do have to have some hard times to really enjoy the good.
Long may it last.
Thanks to all the nice responses everyone.
Reckon my latter years of drinking are just the average story of a drunken joe, nothing special.
Its where we go from here that is important.
letting God take the wheel...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Home is where the heart is-Colorado and Oregon
Posts: 100
Wow, your post brought tears to my eyes..thank you so much for that..I have been struggling with something alot lately...I am almost two months sober..and its the guilt and shame of my past drinking..its the guilt over my inability to stop drinking sooner knowing that I have the disease of alcholism and the shame of my behavior when intoxicated...Its been really hard to get past at times..but then I read your post..and i felt all warm and fuzzy...its so good to know that I am not alone and that the truth of the matter is that I have a disease..I am capable of being a very sick sad woman, but the fact that I have decided to face my sickness head on and work towards a fruitfull better life, regardless of the pain and harships I face doing so..i know that I am better already and we alchoholics are so hard on ourselves...I have never really used my disease as my excuse for drinking...but when I look at it in a new light its true..I am just so happy to be sober and gratefull to be gratefull and can almost look at my drunken past as one of the best things that happened to me because I am sober today.....thank you
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