So mad I could spit.....

Old 10-04-2008, 08:32 AM
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So mad I could spit.....

Last Saturday I gave ABF $60 to get through the week: it lasted him until Wednesday. To my knowledge he only bought beer on 2 occasions, the rest went to food, gas and cigarettes. I have him another $20 on Thursday.

Yesterday I gave him $40 to buy FOOD at the grocery store. He spent 20% of that on beer.

I told him a week ago that we had $500 until my next pay day (which is in 2 weeks...) (ABF is currently unemployed).

How is it that I can spend NO money? I didn't spend a dime last week????? I didn't eat out because I know the money situation. My commute to work is 5 miles, so I hardly used any gas.

Yesterday he told me he found $60 of emergency cash that he had stashed. He asked me if we could take his son fishing, if we could afford the $4 to buy shrimp. I curtly told him that since he found $60, and since he chose to spend $8 on beer instead of food at the store, that he could most certainly afford to buy his son shrimp.

A good majority of his time last week, when he should be out looking for a job was spent laying in bed?

And apparently someone "gifted" him a bag of pot. Which means that he certainly won't be able to pass a drug test.

I am 32 weeks pregnant......I am tired of being taken advantage of.

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Old 10-04-2008, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by orviske View Post
I am 32 weeks pregnant......I am tired of being taken advantage of.
So, what are you going to do about it?

I don't mean to sound flippant, but as long as you let him take advantage of you, he will. He's not going to voluntarily stop doing what's comfortable. Why should he? He seems pretty content with the status quo. You are the one who is unhappy about it. That means you are the one who will have to change things.

L
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Old 10-04-2008, 09:28 AM
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So he's resourceful when it comes to getting the things that he needs (pot) but handicapped when it comes to getting things that you and the baby need. Perfectly willing to take advantage of a pregnant lady who is still working so that he can lay around, smoke pot, go fishing, and sabotage his chances of getting a job.

Am I getting a complete picture here so far?

Are you?

Hugs, K
GL
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Old 10-04-2008, 11:41 AM
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Go buy yourself and your baby something. He can manage without you. What a lucky man he is.

Gill xx
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Old 10-04-2008, 11:52 AM
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Do the food shop yourself, he can help in ther ways like doing the ironing and cooking!!!!! If he's not working he has the time
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Old 10-04-2008, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by GiveLove View Post
So he's resourceful when it comes to getting the things that he needs (pot) but handicapped when it comes to getting things that you and the baby need. Perfectly willing to take advantage of a pregnant lady who is still working so that he can lay around, smoke pot, go fishing, and sabotage his chances of getting a job.

Am I getting a complete picture here so far?

Are you?

Hugs, K
GL

GL....thank you again for your contribution. ABF got up early but "didn't sleep well" after staying up until 2 am drinking. Went back to sleep around 11 while I took HIS CHILD to the pool. He complained he was in a lot of pain because of his back. After a 3 hour nap he still got up and complained that back hurt....but it of course didn't make me feel any better.

I WAS LIVID!!!! Is this the kind of child rearing my child is going to get???? I think I've got that picture pretty clear. I called my dad...and he said....IT'S TIME, K....get in the car and go....you can always go back......

I don't think we want to come back though....

Thanks again....I love hearing from you, GL!


K
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Old 10-04-2008, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Rainbowsend View Post
Do the food shop yourself, he can help in ther ways like doing the ironing and cooking!!!!! If he's not working he has the time
I gave him the money to go food shopping as a test....and he failed, miserably.
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Old 10-04-2008, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by LaTeeDa View Post
So, what are you going to do about it?

I don't mean to sound flippant, but as long as you let him take advantage of you, he will. He's not going to voluntarily stop doing what's comfortable. Why should he? He seems pretty content with the status quo. You are the one who is unhappy about it. That means you are the one who will have to change things.

L

And does that change include jumping in the car and heading for my family???? because I'm pretty sure that's how this is playing out.....

Thanks for your post!

K
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Old 10-04-2008, 02:01 PM
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Pulling for you, K. Being a good, calm, civilized human, I won't go into what I really feel about a man who lets his 33-wk pregnant gf do the childcare on HIS kid while he sleeps off a drunk. I think the Big Moderator Hook would come and yank me out of here

Do what you need to do. And your dad is right - you can always go back if he gets his act together, proves his recovery for a few months, gets a job, quits pot.....oh gosh, that list is getting a little daunting, isn't it? Never mind.

Go where you're loved! It will give you such strength! That little girl of your will be born Athena, ready to take on the world.
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Old 10-04-2008, 02:16 PM
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Orviske i would drive you myself if I could.
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Old 10-04-2008, 02:55 PM
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Listen to your Dad, leave, you need to be with your family at a time like this. Best of luck to you and i hope you find peace in your life.

Gill
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Old 10-04-2008, 07:41 PM
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What about his child? Did I miss if that is his by another women? If so, what would happen to that child?
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Old 10-05-2008, 06:31 AM
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Originally Posted by AmpHusky View Post
What about his child? Did I miss if that is his by another women? If so, what would happen to that child?
Yes, his son is from a previous marriage. He gets visitation of his child on the weekends. His biological mother takes care of him the rest of the week.

K
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