Progress?
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Manchester UK
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Progress?
I was going to continue on the thread about my bro in hospital, but I think this is going too far from how it started off.
My brother has been discharged from the hospital, he went home last night. Joe came home from school today and asked if he could go to see him at home, I was a bit distracted with a dodgy vacuum cleaner and my reply wasn't as well thought out at it could have been, I just said yeah, if he's in because he wasnt when I tried phoning earlier.
So Joe phoned, asked his dad how he was, then asked if he could go round to see him. The next thing I heard was Joe saying 'It's ok dad, maybe you'll want to ring me back when you aren't drinking but I probably wont bother you until then' and he put the phone down.
He did cry for a while afterwards, we both did. But we actually talked about how we both feel about his dads drinking. Joe said he's never talking to him again ever, so we talked about that too, and Joe agreed that 'just for today' he's not going to talk to him but he'll make his mind up again tomorrow if he feels differently.
My brother has been discharged from the hospital, he went home last night. Joe came home from school today and asked if he could go to see him at home, I was a bit distracted with a dodgy vacuum cleaner and my reply wasn't as well thought out at it could have been, I just said yeah, if he's in because he wasnt when I tried phoning earlier.
So Joe phoned, asked his dad how he was, then asked if he could go round to see him. The next thing I heard was Joe saying 'It's ok dad, maybe you'll want to ring me back when you aren't drinking but I probably wont bother you until then' and he put the phone down.
He did cry for a while afterwards, we both did. But we actually talked about how we both feel about his dads drinking. Joe said he's never talking to him again ever, so we talked about that too, and Joe agreed that 'just for today' he's not going to talk to him but he'll make his mind up again tomorrow if he feels differently.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Des Moines, IA
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((((hugs))))
Lucy, I am sorry you and Joey are going thru this.
You are a fantastic aunt and it shows by how you are able to talk to him about his father. It shows by how he is able to talk to you about what he is feeling about his dad. It shows by the decisions he is making about talking and seeing his dad.
I know how frustrating it can be when a father chooses drinking over his kids, because that is what my sons father has done to them, but I can tell you I didn't handle it nearly as well as you are.
My hat is off to you and I applaud your wisdom and love for towards your nephew.
Big HUGS and prayers that Joey continues to grow healthy while dealing with his dad.
Barb:praying:ghug3
You are a fantastic aunt and it shows by how you are able to talk to him about his father. It shows by how he is able to talk to you about what he is feeling about his dad. It shows by the decisions he is making about talking and seeing his dad.
I know how frustrating it can be when a father chooses drinking over his kids, because that is what my sons father has done to them, but I can tell you I didn't handle it nearly as well as you are.
My hat is off to you and I applaud your wisdom and love for towards your nephew.
Big HUGS and prayers that Joey continues to grow healthy while dealing with his dad.
Barb:praying:ghug3
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Barb, I think I may just be handling it different to how you did because I don't have the complication of his dad being my partner. I think that probably makes a difference to the way I can keep my distance sometimes.
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Even more progress today, I've found an al anon meeting not too far away, I can get to it, the kids will be in school so I don't have to worry about them, and I have the day off work.
I told my mum I'm going and she asked if I minded if she came along with me.
We're going on Wednesday, well, I am, if mum comes too it'll be a bonus but at least she's thought about it.
I told my mum I'm going and she asked if I minded if she came along with me.
We're going on Wednesday, well, I am, if mum comes too it'll be a bonus but at least she's thought about it.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Lucy,
You are in such a tough spot. Your love for Joe makes dealing with your brother's self-inflicted road to ruin so difficult. I know how that feels, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other, kiddo. It's what we do. And Joe's recognition of taking this one day at a time with his dad is cool. Maybe after you get your feet wet in Al-anon, Joe might be interested in a teen group. I would bet he'd find a sense of belonging there. Keep your chin up, sweetie. How great that your mom wants to go also. But go just for youreself, also.
You are in such a tough spot. Your love for Joe makes dealing with your brother's self-inflicted road to ruin so difficult. I know how that feels, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other, kiddo. It's what we do. And Joe's recognition of taking this one day at a time with his dad is cool. Maybe after you get your feet wet in Al-anon, Joe might be interested in a teen group. I would bet he'd find a sense of belonging there. Keep your chin up, sweetie. How great that your mom wants to go also. But go just for youreself, also.
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