what to do, what to do, what to do ...
Women Do Recover!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: So Cal/SE TX
Posts: 210
what to do, what to do, what to do ...
I am not sure at the moment I am a friend of the addict but... here I am.
I am a recovering addict married to what once was a recovering addict who has gone out and got loaded many times now. It started about six months ago. I have yelled, kicked, screamed, tossed the stuff out, brought the stuff back in, blah, blah, blah.
I have attend a few Naranon meetings and will continue to go but... haven't really gotten any advice (is that the advice, they don't give any?). I have let him use at home, I have told him not to come home when using. I don't know what to do with him.
Do I leave him in the house? or is that killing him?
Do I kick him out of the house and let him kill him?
He hasn't stolen anything or not brought the pay check home, he isn't causing chaos (except with me) my kids don't know he has been getting loaded (YET), he says he wants to get clean but doesn't do what he needs to do to get clean. I am sick of it, over and over and over and there doesn't look like there is an end in sight.
What to do?
I am a recovering addict married to what once was a recovering addict who has gone out and got loaded many times now. It started about six months ago. I have yelled, kicked, screamed, tossed the stuff out, brought the stuff back in, blah, blah, blah.
I have attend a few Naranon meetings and will continue to go but... haven't really gotten any advice (is that the advice, they don't give any?). I have let him use at home, I have told him not to come home when using. I don't know what to do with him.
Do I leave him in the house? or is that killing him?
Do I kick him out of the house and let him kill him?
He hasn't stolen anything or not brought the pay check home, he isn't causing chaos (except with me) my kids don't know he has been getting loaded (YET), he says he wants to get clean but doesn't do what he needs to do to get clean. I am sick of it, over and over and over and there doesn't look like there is an end in sight.
What to do?
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Dear Lowbottom, You know it is all up to you. If you were once addicted you know the 3C's concerning addiction. You know until he has reached his bottom there is nothing you can do to get him to stop. Do you want to wait that long and live with him like he is knowing your kids are bound to find out? It is your life and your choice.
Wishing you the best of luck,
Diane
Wishing you the best of luck,
Diane
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Welcome LowBottom
Sounds like you know exactly where this is going. Welcome! Read around, the stickies at the top are great. You and your kids, are #1! You aren't "letting" him doing anything, he's making his choices, you are making yours - who is making healthy choices?
What are you thinking? (I ask not in a sarcastic tone, wondering what are your thoughts and how are you feeling?)
Sounds like you know exactly where this is going. Welcome! Read around, the stickies at the top are great. You and your kids, are #1! You aren't "letting" him doing anything, he's making his choices, you are making yours - who is making healthy choices?
What are you thinking? (I ask not in a sarcastic tone, wondering what are your thoughts and how are you feeling?)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
only you can decide what you want to do. only you can tell him to leave & not come back. this is your choice just like the choosing to use was (is) his. if he does not want to get clean you know he want. how long are you willing to wait for him to decide to get clean. welcome to S.R. iam glad you found us.keep coming back & read all around. there are alot of support here. prayers for you & your husband.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm a recovering addict, too, and left my now XABF because he was still using. He doesn't want to get clean, except he'll talk about it when he's in jail.
What you decide to do is your choice, but I choose not to be around addicts. I had enough of my OWN chaos when I was using, I don't have to put up with someone else's chaos now that I'm in recovery. What's more, I don't WANT to put up with it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
What you decide to do is your choice, but I choose not to be around addicts. I had enough of my OWN chaos when I was using, I don't have to put up with someone else's chaos now that I'm in recovery. What's more, I don't WANT to put up with it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
LowBottom,
Hugs to you. Betting you already know the best thing to do, which would be to leave him to his own devices, and to distance the children away from the drama and chaos.
Meetings are not about him, they're all about YOU. Helping you get strength, support, and hope.
Hugs..
Hugs to you. Betting you already know the best thing to do, which would be to leave him to his own devices, and to distance the children away from the drama and chaos.
Meetings are not about him, they're all about YOU. Helping you get strength, support, and hope.
Hugs..
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