Reddmax

Well,

Even though I'm sad and upset, I took another baby step. I put down money on an attorney with a significant amount of experience.

God help me.

Redd

TTOSBT

Good but I thought you already had an attorney that was directing you??

Reddmax

Retainer..... hired the firm.

Redd

justaboutus

Good for you Redd. One step at a time.

Stubborn1

Good job and a huge step in the right direction. Can I have him when you are done with him?? Pretty please with sugar on top.

LucyA

Good on ya Redd

queenteree

(((Redd))) I know it breaks your heart to do this, but stay strong! Nothing changes if nothing changes. It will all work out the way it's supposed to.

peaceteach

I agree with QT, Redd. None of us really ever wanted this life that was given to us with an alcoholic loved one. It is heartbreaking, but it will BREAK YOU if you don't step away from it. Saving yourself is the right thing, not selfish, not breaking a vow. It is saving yourself from the same downward spiral your AW is on. You did a very brave thing; know in your heart it was the right move, Redd. Keep putting one foot in front of the other now. Forward motion and all. Prayers for you tonight, Redd.

sslusser

I just make the initial call to an attorney this morning. It is a weird feeling. Like picking up a weapon or something. Not in the sense that I would use it to do harm but for protection.

I am a man with an AW so I am taking to a woman lawyer. What do anyone think of that reasoning. Maybe it doesn't make a difference.

TTOSBT

I am sorry sslusser, that is really rough for you.
I have no idea whether it makes a difference. Seems like it might be better to have a female rather than a male attorney.

sslusser

I guess I thought that in a custody battle with an AW a woman might be more apt to want what was best for my son. It seems rather hard for a man to get custody of children sometimes.

Jazzman

I settled for nothing less than 50/50 custody. That was with my first wife of 13 years. If I was fighting with an alcoholic for custody, my concerns would be what's best for the children.... same as the court system. When my fist marriage was falling apart the best advice I ever got was from my estranged wifes therepist...
"Talk to a lawyer and get educated as to your rights as their father"

It's beyond me why the majority of divorced Dads are just fine with every other weekend.
It all depends on what you agree to.

coyote21

I was married to an AW and was blessed with sole custody.... and I'm 56 and she's 7. I never dreamed that would happen. Things have changed at least here in Texas. I know several dads w/custody.

I think the courts do want what's best for the kids. I also think a woman lawyer is a good idea, that was an idea of mine also, just didn't turn out that way.

I prayed alot, told the truth...even on myself, tried to do the right thing to protect my DD, and let go of the out come. I asked God to please do what was best for DD, just in case I was thinking wrong.

After I was cross examined by wifes lawyer we broke for lunch. DA told me my testamony was the most honest he'd heard in 30 yrs. I guess honesty is the best policy...just like mom used to tell me! Ha!

We spent 6 hrs in court two different times, first outcome...joint, AW appealled, second outcome...sole. It was the single hardest thing I've ever been thru. I visualized a giant pair of gentle, loving "God hands" cupped together, I would lift my DD into the hands then I would jump in with her.

I also asked everyone I knew to please pray for us. It worked.

Good luck and may God bless you and your little boy.

Thanks and God bless us all, :ghug
Coyote

peaceteach

That is one of the sweetest things I've read lately, Coyote. Thank you. Good luck, dads, all of you. You give me hope and smiles.