I am done!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
I am done!
I am done, I am done, I am done.
I am done giving my almost 28 yr. old AS money. (Big period.) I am done emotionally enabling him. I have to distance myself from him because he is dragging me down with him. I cannot do it any longer, it has taken a toll on me and it is time for me to repair my life.
Please encourage me in this committment to myself. I will hold myself accountable and have faith in my HP that he will take care of me and guide me. I am scared to death, but encouraged that this is the right thing to do.
I am done giving my almost 28 yr. old AS money. (Big period.) I am done emotionally enabling him. I have to distance myself from him because he is dragging me down with him. I cannot do it any longer, it has taken a toll on me and it is time for me to repair my life.
Please encourage me in this committment to myself. I will hold myself accountable and have faith in my HP that he will take care of me and guide me. I am scared to death, but encouraged that this is the right thing to do.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
((((JMF))))
Congratulations!!
I have said this here before, that I didn't know when my AD's bottom would be but I recognized mine when I saw it and so have you
it is a hard road that takes us here but there is a reward in finally letting go...
the relief from putting down an impossible burden, and the realization that we really are powerless...and the eventual positive impact of our decision on our addict
Know that you are doing the only right thing for your son; getting out of the way and letting him grow up and face his life, and finally allowing you to have your rightful place in yours...
good for you, Mom...you won't regret it as you move forward and start to see the benefits of doing the hard, right thing..sending you prayers and
Grateful
Congratulations!!
I have said this here before, that I didn't know when my AD's bottom would be but I recognized mine when I saw it and so have you
it is a hard road that takes us here but there is a reward in finally letting go...
the relief from putting down an impossible burden, and the realization that we really are powerless...and the eventual positive impact of our decision on our addict
Know that you are doing the only right thing for your son; getting out of the way and letting him grow up and face his life, and finally allowing you to have your rightful place in yours...
good for you, Mom...you won't regret it as you move forward and start to see the benefits of doing the hard, right thing..sending you prayers and
Grateful
Last edited by grateful2b; 09-30-2008 at 08:15 AM.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Burnsie,
Hugs to you.
It's NOT only for our good, it's for their good too.
Set your boundaries, gain some strength by attending meetings, and posting here. It's not easy, but you can do this.
Hugs from one mom to another........
Hugs to you.
It's NOT only for our good, it's for their good too.
Set your boundaries, gain some strength by attending meetings, and posting here. It's not easy, but you can do this.
Hugs from one mom to another........
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 328
One step forward, two back. I did that for quite awhile. But one day I was just over it - I was done - the emotional pain just about killed me.
What was a priority for me wasn't for them. I wanted recovery for them more than they did.
When I got busy, I got better. And amazingly, so did they.
Congrats!! This is really hard stuff for us Moms.
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
What was a priority for me wasn't for them. I wanted recovery for them more than they did.
When I got busy, I got better. And amazingly, so did they.
Congrats!! This is really hard stuff for us Moms.
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Home
Posts: 178
Joan,
I understand how you feel. In my case, My exah is still being enabled by his mother. He is 52. She is 80.
I dont want to end up like her, so I reach out to groups (alanon) and this site.
I love my kids, but understand that my helping and trying to fix things is making it worse for them.
hugs, stef
I understand how you feel. In my case, My exah is still being enabled by his mother. He is 52. She is 80.
I dont want to end up like her, so I reach out to groups (alanon) and this site.
I love my kids, but understand that my helping and trying to fix things is making it worse for them.
hugs, stef
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((JMF)))
I'm glad you're done. I know you've been struggling and wondering if/when you'd get to this point. My bottom with my XABF was the same as my bottom with crack...it finally clicked that nothing was going to change unless I changed.
Be prepared...he is NOT going to like the "new you". He'll get over it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm glad you're done. I know you've been struggling and wondering if/when you'd get to this point. My bottom with my XABF was the same as my bottom with crack...it finally clicked that nothing was going to change unless I changed.
Be prepared...he is NOT going to like the "new you". He'll get over it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Joan, As "Imperfect" said He is not going to like the new you. Duey was the one that was always tough with Chris. When I changed my attitude and Duey was starting to trust him~~Chris said he thought we were changing roles..I'm glad he noticed. That was a good step for him....Hugs again, Bonnie
krhea75
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
Boy can I relate. I just kicked my 18 year old out this week-end, but he kept coming back like a bad penny. Finally, after 3 nights of his sneaking in, ringing the doorbell, begging me, he has finally realized I'm serious and he has moved out. He is very angry at me right now, which in a way makes it easier. I had my first good night's sleep last night.
I know what you mean about "No More!" I am still scared, though. What if he gets worse, what if I could have held on until he worked it out? Self doubt is my worst enemy. So anyway, stay strong. Use your tools, exercise, and hold your boundaries.
You can do it.
Krhea
I know what you mean about "No More!" I am still scared, though. What if he gets worse, what if I could have held on until he worked it out? Self doubt is my worst enemy. So anyway, stay strong. Use your tools, exercise, and hold your boundaries.
You can do it.
Krhea
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