splendra

Now that my younger brother has reported to jail my other brother is free to harass my mom.

I have listened to her cry so many times about his violence and his piggishness. I have suggested that she call the cops and she says she is afraid because of when they raided her house a few months back and handcuffed her and my sister as my sister's autistic child was getting off the school bus. This incident has really upset my mom. They took all her spices, powders, sugars and flours that she used for cooking all her medicinal herbs and other remedies. She is really upset about what went on because of my brother who is not in jail was doing stuff out of her house.

My brother is literally holding her hostage. I don't know what to do. It really gets on my last nerve. I have called the cops several times on him for this they always let him go. This is just absurd. I really can't stand it.

Ann

I'm sorry, Splendra, and sorry for your mom. Are there family members who could come together and ask him to leave and live someplace else?

Keeping you all in my prayers

rozied

Oh Splendra, I know how hard this must be for you to see going on but unfortunately it is up to your mom to change it. She must be the one to toughen up & not allow your brother to get away with anything she doesn't approve of.
In a way this reminds me of me being so upset with my parents over the last 20yrs cuz they kept enabling my son. I had to let go of the addict AND let go of the enablers cuz there was & is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I know you know noone can change anyone else. Think of yourself with a hula hoop, let it go down around you & anything inside that circle is the only thing you can do anything about!
Love,
Diane

splendra

All my mom is going to do is complain about it. My sister is there with her putting up with the stuff to she knows better.

I do need to let it go that is what is best for me I am sure.

rozied

You were just letting off steam, lately I haven't been saying anything to my parents. What will be will be. It has been much easier for me since I am not fighting with my parents. Eventually your brother will put himself in a position that even your mom won't be abel to do anything about. I think thats what finally happened with Joey. Cuz he screwed up Wk Release at the end of June now he is not being paroled, and he was lucky to get bk to Wk Release for the remander of his sentence. Now he must stay in Wk Release until they let him out, and now he is happy to be there. I am happy too cuz at least he will be under supervision till they decide to let him out!!!
You know I am 61 now & it has taken me 20yrs of fighting to see this.
Its easier when you let everyone's HP be in control!
Love & Hugs,
Diane

ctrom40

Splendra,

I am sorry that your mom has to go through this mess.
But as you already know, you can't go through it for her.

She will be in my prayers.

Ladybugg

dang splendra..have you ever thought of relocating...to the other side of the country (just kidding)
i don't know how you do it
lots of hugs, michelle

baxter

That's a rotten situation to be in. Is there anyway you can just tell you mom you don't want to hear about any of it?

My daughter used to have the habit of telling me about all her fights with her boyfriend and then being right back with him the next day while I was seething with anger at him. Then I'd be mad at her for going back. He's an alcoholic. I finally told her that unless she wanted me to hate him the rest of my life she had to quit telling me all the bad things he does since I'm not around for the making up. Took her awhile and a lot of me plugging my ears and going NA,NA, NA, NA but she seldom tells me about the bad things.
If she does sneak in something I just tell her "awe, but you'll love him tomorrow" and then continue on with another subject.

You know what needs to done not it's your mom's time to figure it out. Stay strong and I'd just plain tell her I don't want to hear it anymore. Maybe when she finds out no one else will listen to it over and over, she'll see things need to change.

laurie6781

If in fact you feel that your Mom is in danger, and it sure sounds like it........................Call Adult Protection Services in the state your Mom live in, tell them what you know, and have them check out the situation.

They in turn when they see that your sister and Austic child are living there will also get Child Protection Services involved to get this MONSTER out of your Mom's home.

No she won't don't anything, she is too fearful. However, you do have some resources available to get your Mom some much needed help and protection.

J M H O

Prayers for you and your family.

Love and hugs,

splendra

I have called the elderly abuse line before and her case has been investigated their findings were inconclusive...

So anyway I don't care anymore there is nothing I can do. I don't even want to try. I just need to be prepared to receive the call that something really bad has happened. If I still have a phone if I am still around and if I care to be found....

I hate to cut them off again but maybe for me it would be the best thing...

krhea75

So finally I had a good night's sleep after 3 nights of interrupted nights. My son has moved out and back in with his dad (even though his dad agreed to stand strong with me about this). Whatever. I know that I need to stay strong and I'm doing well while I'm busy. But on the way home tonight, in the quiet of my car, sadness rolled in on me. I'm okay, though. What choice do I have? I can curl up in a corner and cry or I can keep moving, focusing on my life and how I can survive.

It's funny, when I start to melt, I hear the words from this forum echoing in my head. Thanks all for your encouragement.
krhea

krhea75

sorry splendra, I meant to post to the whole forum....
krhea