HopeandPrayer

I just figured some thing out

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I just figured out, if you are going to read books on codependencies and abusive relationships, DO NOT borrow a siblings books to read.

I just found some books my sister used when she was trying to get out of an abusive relationship, and one of the books "It's My Life Now" has a section in it where the reader fills in blanks to certain questions. I just read how (in her mind) I abused her with verbal slurs and put downs for the last 47 yrs. I am 47 she is 51. I know that she was really hurting at this time and I am trying to not take it personally, because as we know her feelings are her feelings. But dang if it doesn't hurt, since I don't remember EVER saying the things that are accredited to me.

So, just a word of warning to all those out there, Don't borrow books from siblings or friends if they have interactive questions in them, its kind of like eavesdropping on a conversation that you weren't meant to hear.
I love my sister very much and had no idea that this was going thru her mind. I don't understand where all this came from, but I am sorry that she felt that I would hurt her to that extent.

I posted this in another forum and thought this might be helpful here also.
:ghug3

Barb

Ann

Just remember that she was in great pain when she wrote that, and maybe just needed to get all the little stuff out with the big stuff.

I needed to write what I wrote for my 4th step, but I would be mortified if anyone read it. It was just me writing about some feelings and very personal.

I hope you can let this go and not mention it to her. I think that would add to both your pain and hers.

Sometimes siblings just get miffed with each other, and that's human, that's how it works.

Hugs

hope213

just work on being extra good to her. some times we hurt the ones we love most & not even realize it. say a prayer for her & let it go.

Impurrfect

I used to journal, a lot, until my roommate found my journal, made copies of some pages and showed them to my bf!!

I wrote a lot of things that, in retrospect, I know was more of my feelings at the time, and had little to do with what was actually going on. Because of MY distress, I was misinterpeting a lot of what other people said and/or did.

I hope you can just let this go. I'm sure it hurts, but it's in the past.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

splendra

My sister says things that she thinks I said or feel about her all the time. I can't even understand where she is coming from with this stuff.

HopeandPrayer

Yeah I understand what you are saying, the part that hurt, was how much pain she was in and I didn't have a clue. We used to be close until she started down the dark path of depression. I don't intend to mention anything to her.

My mom gave me these books she found at my grandmothers knowing I was wanting to read some things to help me better understand my relationship issues,ie bad picker, and when I opened up the first one found out they were my sisters. I didn't intentionally take them to intrude on her privacy

It is giving me a better insight into who she is right now, and yes I agree that she is projecting her own thoughts with my voice. I don't ever say to any one what she has credited me for saying because I have dealt with these issues myself for many years. I love her and wouldn't hurt like that for any thing in the world and really hope that some day she can get to a place that she will know that.

Thank you for you responses, it was such an AH-ha moment. But wouldn't suggest it to anyone as a way to get to know someone. It certainly isn't a way to get to know yourself. IMHO
Barb