Three Months without XABF Update
Getting to my HAPPY PLACE!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 298
Three Months without XABF Update
Hello all. Some of you will remember me.
I kicked xabf out on June 27th so it's right at the 3 month point and I wanted to just stop in and let everyone know that I'm doing amazingly better now that some time has passed. Don't get me wrong - I STILL have moments of great sorrow and longing and will cry but those tears come few and far between.
My life is so much different without him. I miss the good times we had together and I miss him occasionally. I still pass him on the road every now and then but I don't even look his way. He has moved in with another woman and yes that was almost like a punch in the gut when I heard about it but I keep reminding myself what pain he can cause someone and how I'm glad it's not me on the receiving end anymore.
During the past three months there were times when he would call me, text me or even stop by unexpectedly but I resisted. I knew in my heart our relationship would NEVER be the same and there was way too much water under the bridge for me to forgive and forget.
My close friends and family have been a Godsend and I even threw a party for everyone and called it a "Thank you for being my friend/Drama Free Party". Everyone that knew my xabf understood the importance of NO DRAMA b/c while with him - it was always drama. It was a good time for all and I told everyone how much they meant to me and thanked them for being there for me thru this time.
I will say that I don't regret walking away from him but in my mind it was still the hardest thing I have ever done. He is the only man that I even considered marrying since my divorce 8 years ago. I really really thought he was the "one" only to have my eyes opened by a manipulative, fake alcoholic crack user.
And I'll be honest - I'm still in the angry phase at times. Sometimes I wish him only the worst life has to offer but I'm working on wishing him nothing one way or the other. It's called INDIFFERENCE and I SO want to get there.
Many, many thanks to this board - for if it wasn't for this place and being able to see that I was not crazy and alone - I'm not sure what I would have done.
I want to share a quote that I have adopted for myself: "But if you look at me closely-you will see it in my eyes- this girl will ALWAYS find her way."
I kicked xabf out on June 27th so it's right at the 3 month point and I wanted to just stop in and let everyone know that I'm doing amazingly better now that some time has passed. Don't get me wrong - I STILL have moments of great sorrow and longing and will cry but those tears come few and far between.
My life is so much different without him. I miss the good times we had together and I miss him occasionally. I still pass him on the road every now and then but I don't even look his way. He has moved in with another woman and yes that was almost like a punch in the gut when I heard about it but I keep reminding myself what pain he can cause someone and how I'm glad it's not me on the receiving end anymore.
During the past three months there were times when he would call me, text me or even stop by unexpectedly but I resisted. I knew in my heart our relationship would NEVER be the same and there was way too much water under the bridge for me to forgive and forget.
My close friends and family have been a Godsend and I even threw a party for everyone and called it a "Thank you for being my friend/Drama Free Party". Everyone that knew my xabf understood the importance of NO DRAMA b/c while with him - it was always drama. It was a good time for all and I told everyone how much they meant to me and thanked them for being there for me thru this time.
I will say that I don't regret walking away from him but in my mind it was still the hardest thing I have ever done. He is the only man that I even considered marrying since my divorce 8 years ago. I really really thought he was the "one" only to have my eyes opened by a manipulative, fake alcoholic crack user.
And I'll be honest - I'm still in the angry phase at times. Sometimes I wish him only the worst life has to offer but I'm working on wishing him nothing one way or the other. It's called INDIFFERENCE and I SO want to get there.
Many, many thanks to this board - for if it wasn't for this place and being able to see that I was not crazy and alone - I'm not sure what I would have done.
I want to share a quote that I have adopted for myself: "But if you look at me closely-you will see it in my eyes- this girl will ALWAYS find her way."
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 166
Thank you so much for your update. I remembering reading your posts in June - I was planning my departure then.
I too share the same feelings that you do, it also seems my AH has had a "friend" all along too. It still hurts but each day that goes by it gets easier. I don't ever want to go back to that chaos, I love my life now.
Your motto is wonderful. Again my thanks for your sharing, stay strong - K.
I too share the same feelings that you do, it also seems my AH has had a "friend" all along too. It still hurts but each day that goes by it gets easier. I don't ever want to go back to that chaos, I love my life now.
Your motto is wonderful. Again my thanks for your sharing, stay strong - K.
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