wish he'd quit

I talked with the gal from the attorney's office today. She said that we needed to make an appointment together to discuss what we both wanted in the disolussion. I made mention that I wanted to add some stuff to the no drinking clause. I told her about the incident and that I wanted to add in there that the kids are also not to be taken to any place where excessive drinking is taking place.

Up until this point I had not said anything to him yet about the incident because I am consulting with an attorney this afternoon. Well the attorney said something to him about it and he called me. He tells me that I need to have my facts straight before I go making accusations and that he has enough respect for his kids that he wasn't drinking and driving. I told him that I don't believe him for one minute. First it is completely inappropriate to take a 6 year old and a 2 year old to a beer drinking party. Second according to my son he played the game and his dad drank for him when he lost. Then there is the issue of the "smoke pong" game. WHen I told him that our son said that they were smoking cigarette looking things his only words were "There was no weed there." He keeps insisting that he didn't do anything wrong and that maybe our son said that stuff because he was afraid of getting in trouble. He also said that I yell at him and our son every time our son does anything like his dad. Uh yea well I'm not going to sit by and not say anything when a 6 year old is saying they want to drink beer or smoke a cigarette like their uncle. I'm not training my kids to be keg drinkers and chain smokers. I guess AH thinks I'm going to sit idly by and not say a word. Well he has something else comming. Ok off to see the attorney.

Rainbowsend

You wouldn't need to "get your facts straight" if they hadn't been in that environment. a for putting it on a 6 yea old with "he was affraid og getting in trouble" that's pretty low. Glad to hear you're taking care of you and yours.

Chrysalis123

My XAH uses my parenting against me regularly, as a rationalization for his behavior. In the last few months he has repeatedly left the kids alone so he could go party with friends, or go golfing and drinking at the club after. he tells the kids, "I need to take care of myself." He has about 40% overnights and so the kids really miss him and in my line of thinking he has 60% of his evenings free and why can't he do his thing then???

My kids are 10 and 13 and the younger one is in emotional crisis, yet he continues abandoning her. I am a SAHM and homeschool, and run a home business. I have put my kids first during this divorce crisis and only go out if they are with him, with the exception of 1 counseling appointment/week, and one alanon meeting.

The 13 year old watches the younger and it is during the early afternoon and excellent practice in life skills. Contrast him leaving the 10 year old at night alone, saying I'll be right back and showing up at 10:30PM, calling me, in a huff, wondering why I took her home. He was unaware she was gone until then. :wtf2

Any way, atleast once a week I hear the accusation that I leave them at home too or other "atrocities" I commit..... QUACK...QUACK...QUACK!!

Thanks to SR I have set some boundaries around these issues and you should here the quacking now...it's deafening

wish he'd quit

You are right...quacking is exactly what it is. I called him after I got out of school tonight and said that I wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to say anything to our son about talking to me. He told me all of this. I really didn't have to ask. I informed him that it was besides the point of whether he was or he wasn't, but taking them to a party like that isn't appropriate for a 6 and 2 year old. He then tries justifying by saying that we used to take them to bonfires where there was drinking. While that is true, the difference is that my son was not participating in or learning drinking and smoking games. The only thing that he would admit to is that it probably wasnt the best idea, but that he didn't know they were playing the games and that there was no weed there. WHat a load of crap!