The little things mean alot!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Layton, Utah
Posts: 60
The little things mean alot!!!
My AD came yesrterday for a visit, it has been a summer of not seeing much of her. So for me it was the summer or finally facing my co-dependency.
I didn't expect for the result of not seeing her or only communicating with text, would be me having to look at my self. It gave me the time and space to let go and really and truly just love.
So yesterday whe she came, she handed me some cash, said "mom, I know I owe you money, not sure how much, but I know that I have taken advantage of you."
She is looking better everyday, and is finding her way and being proud of her little accomplishments.
I didn't expect for the result of not seeing her or only communicating with text, would be me having to look at my self. It gave me the time and space to let go and really and truly just love.
So yesterday whe she came, she handed me some cash, said "mom, I know I owe you money, not sure how much, but I know that I have taken advantage of you."
She is looking better everyday, and is finding her way and being proud of her little accomplishments.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 230
Those little things mean alot and I'm glad you let her give you the money. My youngest has been an off again on again problem. Spoiled rotten, anger problems, social problems but she had a baby 5 months ago and she really is trying. She did get a part time job and did the same thing, tried to give me some money for all she had taken.
Me, being the codie I am, told her I appreciated the acknowledgement that she knew she owed me money but to keep it and get caught up on others things first, then pay me back. I'd really hurt her feelings. She told me that while she had other bills to pay she felt she owed me more. I did end up taking it and it made her feel proud that she had done something to repay me. Go figure.
I'm sure you daughter felt very proud of herself too. Something we all need. I do love the little things, they mean alot.
Me, being the codie I am, told her I appreciated the acknowledgement that she knew she owed me money but to keep it and get caught up on others things first, then pay me back. I'd really hurt her feelings. She told me that while she had other bills to pay she felt she owed me more. I did end up taking it and it made her feel proud that she had done something to repay me. Go figure.
I'm sure you daughter felt very proud of herself too. Something we all need. I do love the little things, they mean alot.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Layton, Utah
Posts: 60
Im realizing that what I am doing to let go is also making every aspect of my life calmer and happier.
It was hard at first to detach, but the co-dependent me made me do it still to try to help her, now I really get that it is about me.
The work only started when I found this board and starting gaining strength from others.
Marle, I have followed your story closely since there is a man involved with my daughter.
I felt how hard it was for you to detach, almost like your emotions and pain were coming out of my monitor.
As you kept writing about how it was for you and how you knew you had to detach, it gave me the strength to take small steps at first.
It was hard at first to detach, but the co-dependent me made me do it still to try to help her, now I really get that it is about me.
The work only started when I found this board and starting gaining strength from others.
Marle, I have followed your story closely since there is a man involved with my daughter.
I felt how hard it was for you to detach, almost like your emotions and pain were coming out of my monitor.
As you kept writing about how it was for you and how you knew you had to detach, it gave me the strength to take small steps at first.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,054
Thats great news about your AD Lynette.
And great news about you too. It shows both your recoveries are going well.
By the way...I was born in S. Ogden. My D and GSon (Clinton), sister and brother (S.Ogden) are still there. I was in Layton the Nov before last for Gson's birth.
They want us to move back. At 43, it's a big move. But I miss it, I miss them and need the support of my family, so I'm am thinking seriously about it.
And great news about you too. It shows both your recoveries are going well.
By the way...I was born in S. Ogden. My D and GSon (Clinton), sister and brother (S.Ogden) are still there. I was in Layton the Nov before last for Gson's birth.
They want us to move back. At 43, it's a big move. But I miss it, I miss them and need the support of my family, so I'm am thinking seriously about it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Layton, Utah
Posts: 60
:ghugI do of course realize that is just for today, and that my focus is on my recovery. But as a mom we always hold out hope somewhere deep inside for these moments after having the front row seat to hell.
It's good to have all my SR friends for you have truly helped me save my health and sanity by sharing and through that I have gained the strength.
It's good to have all my SR friends for you have truly helped me save my health and sanity by sharing and through that I have gained the strength.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: miami, fl
Posts: 10
i just got goosebumps from the biggest truths, i've felt: It feels like its a miracle that we can smile, that we are trying to live life to the fullest, when, at least me... i tried to destroy it. we are sober, and no other problem can bring me down. with a clear mind, you can see colors appear
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