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Lost, Confused, who am i??? HELP!!!

Old 09-21-2008, 10:22 PM
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confused lost unsure of myself
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Unhappy Lost, Confused, who am i??? HELP!!!

I'M REALLY NOT SURE WHERE TO START. I AM 21 AND I AM "in recovery" I PUT IT LIKE THAT BECAUSE I REALLY AM NOT SURE IF I AM IN RECOVERY. I AM A COCAINE ADDICT AND I HAVEN'T TOUCHED IT SINCE NOVEMBER 3, 2007 BUT I STILL DRINK EVERY NOW AND AGAIN. I AM NOT SURE IF I HAVE TO QUIT EVERYTHING OR IF I ACTUALLY JUST HAVE TO QUIT THE SOURCE TO MY PROBLEM. DRINKING HASN'T BECOME A PROBLEM FOR ME YET I'M NOT SURE THAT IT EVER WILL DRINKING NEVER REALLY WAS MY THING. REALLY AND HONESTLY I JUST NEED SOME INPUT FROM SOME PEOPLE WHO KNOW AND WHO HAVE BEEN IN MY SHOES...EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT...THANK YOU
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Old 09-21-2008, 10:25 PM
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hey there. I am new too. I am 21 years old . Have had a cocaine addiction and been an alcoholic. I've been there. You are not alone. PM me if you ever need to talk to someone.
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Old 09-21-2008, 10:41 PM
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revovery

i need the support i need i found it ialso need friends:praying:ghug3
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Old 09-21-2008, 10:53 PM
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hi kaialynn,welcome! 2 answer your question no you are not alone.first of all i had a alcohol problem from the time i was 16 til i was 27.in that time i dibbled and dabbled with a little of drugs.i saw none of this as a problem because of the party everyones doing this atmoshere.i steadily was going down but i did not see it because of people,places and things.life became a struggle i thought i was doing something when i advanced to cocaine..i quit drinking but was heavy in coke.as you know life progress and the disease worst and worst.at 38 i went 4 help and worked threw n/a and a/a.now i dont drink or use drugs the program suggest if i drink i will realease my disease all over agian.kaialynn,i am very happy now.life has meaning agian i plan a future and set goals and recently went back to school.i only wish i did this when i was younger i kept thinking i didnt have a problem.but it was.i applaud you for being able to quit on your own.i cant tell you what to do but i suggest you check out n/a and a/a and read some of the literature.these programs saved my life.then you can decide if this is for you.this is a good site when you do need help.i am here if you need.keep me posted!!and congrats on that 11mos..i think youre begining 2 see its more to it than just quitting.:ghug
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Old 09-21-2008, 10:58 PM
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Congratulations on being clean from cocaine for almost a year! You will find friendship, support and honesty here. I don't think anyone can tell you to stop drinking. You're the only person who can make that personal decision. Sucks doesn't it? Seriously though, you will find your way if you are honest with yourself. Stick around and absorb the information and post when you need to reach out.

Welcome.
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Old 09-21-2008, 11:21 PM
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confused lost unsure of myself
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THANKS TO ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT THUS FAR...IT IS GREATLY NEEDED...MORE I GUESS MY THOUGHTS ON THE SITUATION IS CAN I "TRULY" CLAIM MY 10 MONTHS CLEAN IF I AM STILL TECHINCALLY USING (DRINKING)????
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Old 09-22-2008, 08:17 AM
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I don't understand this mantality because I'm not in the program. Who are you claiming to be clean for? Yourself or others? You are "truly" clean from cocaine - 10 months if you haven't used. If you feel that drinking will compromise you then work on it. Be proud of your accomplishments and work on the other things. That is all that you can do, correct?
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Old 09-23-2008, 08:01 AM
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I think you can claim you are clean for 10 months. Alcohol is not illegal . So as long as you are not abusing alcohol you are not doing anything wrong. Only you know if you are using too much. When I quit coke I smoked a lot of pot. To replace the habit with something lessor. Then I just quit smoking pot. I am not going to lie to you or anyone . I love to get high. Unfortunately , It causes too many problems.

How long did you use ?
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Old 09-23-2008, 08:21 AM
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Hi,

I agree that it's up to you. You have been clean from cocaine from ten months. It's for you to decide if alcohol is a problem in your life, or not. If it is, then you can seek help stopping. If not, then continue with your recovery.

There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
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Old 09-23-2008, 08:32 AM
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Welcome to SR!

I was a meth addict in my 20's. I quit meth in 1994 and have never touched it since. I did not drink or use for 4 years and I considered myself clean and sober. I started drinking occasionally because that was never my problem. Well, for a couple years I would occasionally overindulge but it was not a problem. Then the disease began to progress and I began to abuse alcohol and it was insidious. I have now been clean and sober again for 4 1/2 months. I am an alcoholic. To be honest, I am an addict, probably does not matter too much what substance. Give me a while, I would get addicted and abuse whatever substance I decided to pick up.

Today I am okay with that, happy actually. I am in recovery and healthier mentally, physically and spiritually than I have been in a decade. It is easier to just not use anything for me, than to try and moderate.

You have found a great forum. Keep reading!
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Old 09-23-2008, 08:36 AM
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I have to agree you are clean ten months.

Just be careful with the alcohol......it can tease you to want to just "try" coke again.

I personally quit alcohol because I became foolish. I knew as long as I was sober I would not make any mistakes. Only you know how you will react. If it's a trigger for you then you might want to consider stopping that too.
Welcome and I wish you the best.
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:04 AM
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I too had to quit drinking. I found that I did very stupid things when I drank. If you name it chances are I have been addicted to it. Honestly quitting coke was easier to do than alcohol for me. It's easier to get away from. Alcohol is everywhere. So please be careful.
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Old 09-23-2008, 11:41 PM
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I guess you would claim your sobriety at an NA meeting and not an AA meeting, right?

That might make the difference, at least to the people in the room. However, just be sure you are being honest with yourself that you don't also need to stop using mind-altering "legal" substances, too.

Great start, Kaia. Keep it up!

-Ajax
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Old 09-24-2008, 12:31 AM
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Cocaine was your downfall. Your 10 mos. Clean and I think that is wonderful. Great job. So to me...I would say it is up to you what you think. But dont replace one habit with another. Filling a void can turn into a huge hot mess eventually.
So I wonder...If drinking is not your thing. Then why do it?

Keep up the progress.
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Old 09-24-2008, 12:43 AM
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confused lost unsure of myself
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thank you to everyone for all the great responses...i really really appreciate it...i have gotten quite a different view on things just by reading all your great posts...thank you very much!!!!
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