I hung myself out to dry!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
I hung myself out to dry!!
At least that is what I feel like......all stops were yanked and I told him my true feelings!! That is a big step for me.
As y'all may or may not know...my A is sober since May 1st....or so to speak. I know I have told y'all that much to my amazement he quit drinking entirely on his own for 30 days, and since then has had 1 or 2 beers here or there. I don't get it, but I don't have to.
I have been never happier in my marriage EVER in 15 years. Things are exactly as I have always wanted them to be....we don't fight, we communicate, help each other out.....etc.
All along I have fought the urge to tell him how I feel about all of it. Ya know if I put myself out there I am liable to get hurt....AGAIN!! But yesterday the kids were gone (had spent the night w/my girlfriend so we could go to dinner to celebrate me 37 b-day) and I decided that the only thing that could happen was I would get hurt. If you can't open up to your spouse then who can you open up to.
So I did. He was very receptive. Then I asked if he missed drinking and he said not really, that he felt much better...we got along better...he even admitted that the only thing I ever b****** about was alcohol or drugs. Now we don't fight. He said he was setting a bad example for the kids and that he intends on staying sober.
I know that he isn't working a program, but his personality since he quit drinking is that kid that I fell in love with 21 years ago. I haven't seen him in a long time, but it is nice to have him back. I am still working my program DAILY!!
Sorry it was so long, but I just wanted to share my good fortune and my fear that I have exposed myself......again.
Thank, Constant
As y'all may or may not know...my A is sober since May 1st....or so to speak. I know I have told y'all that much to my amazement he quit drinking entirely on his own for 30 days, and since then has had 1 or 2 beers here or there. I don't get it, but I don't have to.
I have been never happier in my marriage EVER in 15 years. Things are exactly as I have always wanted them to be....we don't fight, we communicate, help each other out.....etc.
All along I have fought the urge to tell him how I feel about all of it. Ya know if I put myself out there I am liable to get hurt....AGAIN!! But yesterday the kids were gone (had spent the night w/my girlfriend so we could go to dinner to celebrate me 37 b-day) and I decided that the only thing that could happen was I would get hurt. If you can't open up to your spouse then who can you open up to.
So I did. He was very receptive. Then I asked if he missed drinking and he said not really, that he felt much better...we got along better...he even admitted that the only thing I ever b****** about was alcohol or drugs. Now we don't fight. He said he was setting a bad example for the kids and that he intends on staying sober.
I know that he isn't working a program, but his personality since he quit drinking is that kid that I fell in love with 21 years ago. I haven't seen him in a long time, but it is nice to have him back. I am still working my program DAILY!!
Sorry it was so long, but I just wanted to share my good fortune and my fear that I have exposed myself......again.
Thank, Constant
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
********{Constant}}}}}
It is always good to hear the happy things!! I love these posts and I am so glad things are going well for you!!
You take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
PS.....By the way, I have not seen your birthday posted any where so you might as well give it up......when is it or was it?
It is always good to hear the happy things!! I love these posts and I am so glad things are going well for you!!
You take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
PS.....By the way, I have not seen your birthday posted any where so you might as well give it up......when is it or was it?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: where I need to be
Posts: 157
Constant~~~
Your post brought joy to my heart. You really sound happy and at peace. I'm very happy that your A is not drinking.
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.
Have a fabulous day!
S
Your post brought joy to my heart. You really sound happy and at peace. I'm very happy that your A is not drinking.
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.
Have a fabulous day!
S
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 211
Yeah Constant!
I'm in the same boat. It's great finding the man you fell in love with and married, all over again. I thought mine was lost for good. In the process I am finding myself too!!!
Enjoy the good times. You are really worth it.
NoDoubt
I'm in the same boat. It's great finding the man you fell in love with and married, all over again. I thought mine was lost for good. In the process I am finding myself too!!!
Enjoy the good times. You are really worth it.
NoDoubt
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Thanks everyone for sharing in my happiness today and to answer the birthday question...is was July the 18th.
I just pray daily that things remain the same...I have a trip on the 26th and will be gone for several days. I am already having to fight off that sick feeling in my stomach that something might happen while I am gone.....I know, I know, my being here has nothing to do with what he chooses about his sobriety. It's just that in the past when I would leave town party time would start.
Anyhow, things are GREAT today and that is something to celebrate. Thank again for sharing my happiness it makes it so nice to have friends to share it with!
Constant
I just pray daily that things remain the same...I have a trip on the 26th and will be gone for several days. I am already having to fight off that sick feeling in my stomach that something might happen while I am gone.....I know, I know, my being here has nothing to do with what he chooses about his sobriety. It's just that in the past when I would leave town party time would start.
Anyhow, things are GREAT today and that is something to celebrate. Thank again for sharing my happiness it makes it so nice to have friends to share it with!
Constant
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Constant,
I bet he is thinking about it too.
Think about how hard this is for him...you could ask him how he feels and share how you feel. Since those lines of communication have opened up...sometimes, for me at least, if I don't say it when I am calm, I vent it when I am not so calm.
Hugs,
JT
I bet he is thinking about it too.
Think about how hard this is for him...you could ask him how he feels and share how you feel. Since those lines of communication have opened up...sometimes, for me at least, if I don't say it when I am calm, I vent it when I am not so calm.
Hugs,
JT
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Constant
I am happy for you that things are going so well and that you have been able to communicate in a positive way.
And I think you may have missed it, but there is a "Happy Birthday Constant" thread a little lower in the page. You may not have been here that day and you know how quickly the posts slide down the ladder. Anyway - Happy Birthday again!!!
Hugs
Ann
I am happy for you that things are going so well and that you have been able to communicate in a positive way.
And I think you may have missed it, but there is a "Happy Birthday Constant" thread a little lower in the page. You may not have been here that day and you know how quickly the posts slide down the ladder. Anyway - Happy Birthday again!!!
Hugs
Ann
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
(((((Constant))))))
It was such a joy to read this thread! I'm so happy for you and I'm glad things are going so well.
Happy Belated B-day and try not to stress too much about your time away.
Hugs,
JG
It was such a joy to read this thread! I'm so happy for you and I'm glad things are going so well.
Happy Belated B-day and try not to stress too much about your time away.
Hugs,
JG
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 444
((((((((Constant)))))))))
I'm so happy for you! I know you are a bit anxious, and I have been, for my situation too, as it's so much the same--but let it go! Enjoy the happiness and peace while you can. Our Sunday School class is studying about "worry". Do you suppose there's a reason for that?
Sounds like you are doing great! Have a great day.
Lyn
I'm so happy for you! I know you are a bit anxious, and I have been, for my situation too, as it's so much the same--but let it go! Enjoy the happiness and peace while you can. Our Sunday School class is studying about "worry". Do you suppose there's a reason for that?
Sounds like you are doing great! Have a great day.
Lyn
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Lyn, I am sure that there is a reason that your Sunday School class is studying "worry", a very good reason!
Ann and Journeygal thanks for the Birthday wishes! Yes Ann I had missed it.....I don't get to come as often as I would like and then it is for just a few minutes.
JT, funny I never thought about the fact that HE might be thinking about it too. Your right though, since we are communicating I should talk to him about it. After all it isn't a secret!
I will enjoy myself once I am actually on the road to Pensacola...now I just have to hope that the weather will be good.
Constant
Ann and Journeygal thanks for the Birthday wishes! Yes Ann I had missed it.....I don't get to come as often as I would like and then it is for just a few minutes.
JT, funny I never thought about the fact that HE might be thinking about it too. Your right though, since we are communicating I should talk to him about it. After all it isn't a secret!
I will enjoy myself once I am actually on the road to Pensacola...now I just have to hope that the weather will be good.
Constant
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
Hi Constant,
It is wonderful to hear of how well things are going for you and hubby right now - enjoy it, you deserve it
You have no idea how familiar your post sounds to me. I have had a sober G for over 90 days now, and I love it. I have to admit however, that I still worry too much about when and if the relapse will rear its ugly head. Learning NOT to worry about that kinda stuff takes a lot of faith, and patience...
And what you said about not wanting to open up with hubby? Wow... it is soooo me. I can NEVER say what I feel, or say what I mean. I will lie in bed sometimes having a conversation with G in my HEAD, but when I actually get an opportunity to "talk" to him about things, I get all tongue-tied and suffer from amnesia. I think you are right... we are afraid of being hurt. I KNOW what G's typical Alcoholic response is to most things, and I think I just don't want to hear it - it hurts. But trusting that it doesn't matter how he reacts, and what matters is that I have shared my feelings is what really matters - it is just easier said than done. I need a lot of practice. Sounds like you have a head start on me!
Thinking of you
Take care
Meg
It is wonderful to hear of how well things are going for you and hubby right now - enjoy it, you deserve it
You have no idea how familiar your post sounds to me. I have had a sober G for over 90 days now, and I love it. I have to admit however, that I still worry too much about when and if the relapse will rear its ugly head. Learning NOT to worry about that kinda stuff takes a lot of faith, and patience...
And what you said about not wanting to open up with hubby? Wow... it is soooo me. I can NEVER say what I feel, or say what I mean. I will lie in bed sometimes having a conversation with G in my HEAD, but when I actually get an opportunity to "talk" to him about things, I get all tongue-tied and suffer from amnesia. I think you are right... we are afraid of being hurt. I KNOW what G's typical Alcoholic response is to most things, and I think I just don't want to hear it - it hurts. But trusting that it doesn't matter how he reacts, and what matters is that I have shared my feelings is what really matters - it is just easier said than done. I need a lot of practice. Sounds like you have a head start on me!
Thinking of you
Take care
Meg
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Meg,
I hear you loud and clear.....it definately takes LOTS of practice and I have a LOOOONNNNGGGG way to go.
Thanks for the support, and yes our lives seem to be very parallel right now. So nice to know that someone out there knows what it is like and that I am not alone in this!!!
Constant
I hear you loud and clear.....it definately takes LOTS of practice and I have a LOOOONNNNGGGG way to go.
Thanks for the support, and yes our lives seem to be very parallel right now. So nice to know that someone out there knows what it is like and that I am not alone in this!!!
Constant
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
Constant,
You know that nagging voice that "gets you" every time you are about to do / say something you know you shouldn't? Just think of it as ME - an angel on your shoulder
I'm there with ya girl...
Meg
You know that nagging voice that "gets you" every time you are about to do / say something you know you shouldn't? Just think of it as ME - an angel on your shoulder
I'm there with ya girl...
Meg
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