wish he'd quit

After AH brings the kids home my son asks to call his dad. Fortunately for me he likes to have it on speaker phone. So last night AH and his AB take the kids to a "beer pong" party. Well my son wanted to call and ask him if he would take him back some time so they could play it, only he wants to play water pong. This is also the friends house who introduced AH to his current girlfriend so I'm sure she was there too. My son says his dad wasnt drinking but I dont believe that. He probably was putting his beer in a cup to conceal it like he usually does. I guess that answers the whole "anxiety" thing. I haven't said anything to him yet as it will only be a screaming match and I don't want to say anything that I may regret later. At this point I'm seriously considering asking for supervised visitations. I also am thinking of calling and telling his parents that while they are more than welcome to keep the kids under no circumstances will he be taking the kids anywhere on his own. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I am sitting on this today while I debate on what to say and do next. I could seriously just cry.

AmpHusky

You have to protect your kids. If he doesn't have a record it may be harder to get supervised visitations. But I don't know your entire story. Kids come first to what our hearts may want. You know what is best, follow your instincts.

Startingover2

Protect your kids. Its a no brainer for me. It may be tough to prove so ask an attorney.

wish he'd quit

Thanks for the reply. He does have one DUI which was reduced to wreckless op from 2005. Usually when he has the kids on the weekend his parents are home and that is where he is staying. But since they are out of town he had no one else to turn to since I also told him my parents had plans. (He wanted to call them in case his "anxiety" got to bad.) I had no idea he would take them someplace like that. I'm not surprised though. I tried playing it off with my son and asked him basic questions about it like if he had fun or if there were other kids there and who all played. He said there were no other kids there and that his dad wasnt drinking. All I know is I will be consulting with an attorney tomorrow. I don't know how hard it will be to prove, but I do have some documentation.

Bernadette

Beer pong in front of his son?

I would be livid.

Easy does it Wish--an argument with him will do nothing - but speaking to that lawyer will - so just keep doing the next right thing for you and your kids. Let us be worthy of their imitation!

Unbelievable.

Peace-
B.

Freedom1990

No brainer here too

wish he'd quit

Yeah I'm taking the high road on this one and not saying a word. I will let him talk to him still but there will be no visits for a while. I will also let him explain to his parents why the kids arent allowed to stay with him. Because I will be saying something to them eventually. I don't want to keep the kids from him or his parents but at the same time I will not be taking them there until I have consulted with an attorney.

Snickers008

I don't even know what BEER PONG is but it doesn't sound like a child-friendly activity.

Personally, I would definitely NOT get in a fight over this with the AH and just make excuses for why the kids are not visiting and then scurry around like crazy this week and try to get some kind of legal help to get supervised visitation or stop the visits altogether.

I really got some traction in separating from my exAH when I just completely QUIT trying to make my POINT to him or any of his family or accomodate their "needs".

Case In Point: I was lamenting to my coworker that I was afraid my MIL and BIL were going to steal this antique hutch ( from exAH side of the family but which then legally belonged to me) from my house during a 1st Communion party for one of the kids.

She said "UMMMM.....WHY are you inviting people to your house that you are afraid will steal your furniture???"

At that moment- I immediately saw the light.

TOO BAD what he or his parents think of your actions!

Startingover2

A DUI whether it was a wet reckless or not is still drinking and driving. Judges know that the only reason it was reduced to a wet reckless is because there may have been some loophole in the arrest and the prosecution thought they couldn't fight it. My AH was arrested at a .22 BAL. They are trying to get him off on a wet reckless because in the report they stated they had lights and sirens. I guess that didn't actually happen. Not sure what the outcome is yet.

Talk to your attorney and keep it quiet until all your ducks are in a row.

wish he'd quit

More of the story surfaced. The kids and I went to the store tonight and my son told me a little more. Turns out technically AH wasnt "playing" beer pong. My son was "playing" it and he was drinking for him. Then he tells me that someone ripped him off and his uncle told him to call him a "skunk bag." This was right before he tells me that said uncle played "smoke pong" with what he said was alot of cigarette things. SO Im almost wondering if they were smoking joints too. Needless to say I will be calling an attorney tomorrow.