Learning how

Last night I heard my AH chair an AA meeting. Not something I would have ever expected. (he was asked at the last minute) We have been going to an open AA meeting every week. I hear a lot at these meetings. I don't have the drinking problem but I do have many of the thinking problems. I also see it as a step forward in my recovery as there was a time when I was too angry to step into an AA meeting.

Long story short, I sat quietly while my AH told his story. I heard it from his point of view. Sitting across the table from me was a person I had gone to high school with. You just never know who you will meet.

Strange strange feeling. Can't explain how it felt to hear him explain what he was feeling as his drinking just got out of contorl. First time I haven't just felt like he was being an a** during that time. Saw him as a person with a problem that was out of control... for all of us in the family.

Sometimes I get frustrated because our family still struggles. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing to stay and try to work things out. Last night I listened and kept my mouth shut. There are things I need to be thankful for. :present:

Rainbowgirl128

Thats a really awesome post. I totally have compassion for anybody who has had to deal with an alcoholic spouse/parent/family member/significant other/etc. I certainly have. But I also identify myself as having experienced the early stages of alcoholism and Im sure I hurt people during some of my drunken experiences. Having read a lot of the friends and family threads, I realize that a lot of the codependent people have a hard time seeing alcoholism from the alcoholic's point of view. Mutual understanding is vital in order to repair a relationship that was damaged by addiction. You are obviously really strong and compassionate, LearningHow. Congrats on you for that and your SO for being sober and sharing his story. Hope things work out for the two of you

denny57

Thanks for sharing. I have learned a lot by attending open AA meetings.

Pajarito

I should probably go to an open meeting sometime. It's great to hear that the A can actually realize on some level that he/she is getting out of hand. I sometimes wonder if my STBXAH really believes the krap that comes from his mouth or that his bizarre behavior is ok. <sigh> Right now I feel like I have to just do what you did- sit back and listen- to myself first- and quit judging him. He's struggling- I just wish he wasn't.

Learning how

Pajarito thanks for your post. I have trouble not judging my AH also. God knows there is a lot to judge lol.. but I am working on working on myself.

Right now things are ok, so its easier to do the work on my self and not get sucked into the old habits.

I will take any progress I can get.