painter

I am up in the wee hours of the morning. It's 1:46 here, cause one of the kids got sick in my bed. Having to strip bed and wash. Thought I would take a few and let you all know that AD reported to jail this past Friday. I am surprised. Never thought she would do it. Shocked today by call from ADBF. He shocked me by thanking me for taking care of the kids. Said AD was going before judge yesterday at 1:00, that there was a possiblity that she might get released until after the baby was born. I asked if he or someone would please let me know what happens. I called another family member later in the evening and asked what happened. No one tells me anything. I am only her mother and I am the last person to be notified. That makes me so angry. I am the one who has done for her. His family has done nothing, but they are the only ones who she turns to. ??????Maybe that is a good thing. ???????
ADBF said he was going to classes at a Northwester Clinic to get his life straightened out, yeah well. That he had birthday presents for Trey, the soon to be 5 year old. Could he give them to him. I did not respond. Yeah he can have presents, but cannot see Trey. I swing between them not seeing children until they can prove that their lives are cleaned up to taking the kids over to them and handing them over. But I would never do that, I only have those thoughts when I am so exhausted to could cry, which is about every other day.
So maybe someone will see fit to notify my about my child tomorrow, we'll see.
Sorry so long, I think I am walking in my sleep. Much love, everyone

sleepygoat

Hi painter,
these are actually all good signs, but when they get us so exhausted and frustrated, we can't even tell anymore. Go ahead and vent all you need to and keep us posted.

lisa1235

:sorryi think youre doing the best thing keeping those kids stable until they can get themselves together.i applaud you and oneday she will thank you and thank god for you.i know its hard to know where things are going to go now because this disease is so cunning and baffling shes probably afraid too.afraid of losing to this monster.if you need to know what happened you can call the courthouse clerks office tomorrow. i feel you should be informed and know whats going on.the truth is not something active addicts know nothing of.maybe your sterness has sunken in and she realizes its time to get help.im praying 4 you and her and the kids.id like to hear this nightmare is over for all of you.shes just in denial and angry at her ownself and taking it out on you its the nature of the addiction ive been there but we do recover.

peaceteach

Painter,

It's tough, doing the right thing even during those times when exhaustion and the unfairness of it all make you wish it all away. You know you love the grandkids, but the situation, particularly in the wee hours of the morning, causes a resentment at times that is totally justified, totally real. It's okay, Painter. You are human, and allowed to have those frustrated feelings. You know that the next day you will continue to put one foot in front of the other, and do the right thing again. Be patient with yourself. Try to step away from your daughter's situation a little today and do something for yourself, something that gives you a little lift, a little joy. Remember to allow yourself something each day to look forward to, that takes your mind away from the madness of the situation. Your mental and physical health are top priority here, Painter. I am sending you huge hugs and prayers that you find a little peace in life today, just for YOU.

marle

Painter, Sending some hugs and prayers your way. Hopefully your daughter is ready for something different. If she is then you will see a change in her. It may take a while but someday she will be grateful for everything that you are doing. I understand your reluctance to let the abf see the children and that is okay. You are doing what is best for them. It must be so very hard to have so much responsibility when all you really want to do is have some peace. Remember that your daughter is in the struggle for her life and that addiction consumes them. Knowing that it is not personal even though it feels like it, has helped me in the past to separate the daughter that I love from the addict that she is. Hugs, Marle

Ann

Painter, this sounds like a good thing in process here, just be patient and take care of yourself and the children.

I know that sometimes people have heen afraid to talk to me about my son, or tell me things, because they didn't want to upset me even by talking about it. They don't understand what it's like to be us and they don't understand that knowing the truth helps us make healthy decisions. They mean well, I think.

Special hugs for you, for taking care of the babies, and prayers for all of you, that this unfolds a new miracle in your lives.

Hugs

rozied

Dear April, I was glad to hear your daughter has turned herself in. As far as her husband goes................only time will tell.
You take care of yourself & the kids. What happens with the rest of it again only time will tell.
Hope you have your kitchen straightened out!
Love,
Diane

caileesnana

you are an angel taking care of the little angels! God bless you and yours,
susan

ctrom40

Painter,

Your daughter is lucky that she has you to take care of those precious children.

Prayers for your daughter, and for your peace and serenity.

Hugs,

baxter

Did you ever find out what happened when she went before the judge? I used to feel the same with my AD when I'd find out others knew more of what was going on in her life than me. I would tell her time and again I didn't want to hear it anymore and then get mad when she'd call someone else instead of me. Guess that's what kept sucking me in. Danged if she did and danged if she didn't. That must have confused her too.

I applaud all you have done for your grandchildren. We kept two of ours over the weekend while parents (not addicts) had a getaway and I was exhausted. I don't know if I could do it again on a day to day basis. Kudos for all you do. Give yourself a hug from me and hang in there. You're doing a wonderful job.

Impurrfect

((Painter))

I'm glad she really did turn herself in, and I see that as a good sign.

Sending hugs and prayers that she "gets it" and that you can realize what an awesome mom and grandmother you are.

Amy

painter

Of all days, I got a call at 7:30 this morning from an aunt telling me that she did not go before the judge yesterday, that she was suppose to go today. That's it, no other calls. But I didn't have time to dwell on it. Little Taylor was so sick. She is only three and small for her age. Guess she had a bug. I changed two bed twice and don't know how many floors. but I have the cleanest bedrooms in town. I held her on my lap for over 18 hours. She slept and threw up, but she is better tonite. I am dead on my feet. My day off and no food in house and don't when I can get there. Oh whoa is my life, but my little girl is well.
Thanks guys. I feel like I am running in circles and my brain doesn't work at times, so I come here and ya'll talk some sence into me. I thank God for all of you. Bless you.

lisa1235

im sorry to hear that she didnt follow threw with her legal issues.as i said before in active use the truth is something she cant even grasp.if she did she would have to admit theres a problem and the disease can hold you in this mentality until she can actually detox.her fear is great now her disease is threatened.shes probably not thinking rationaly at all.its the disease thats token over.all of us addicts have to hit a bottom in order to put up a fight.i believe she will find it soon.im praying 4 you.it takes time though i hope youre relationship doesnt deteriorate in this process.just remember its not her talking right now its her addiction.im hoping she get to that judge soon it will save her life.you are a great mom and grandma dont forget that.shes lucky to have you.your in my prayers.:praying

BayAreaPhoenix

(((Painter)))

Sounds like one heck of a night, week, etc. Sending you hugs and hope some extra strength comes thru with them. You must be exhausted! An Angel Grandma! The kids are blessed!

BBD

Your lil Angels really are blessed to have the greastest Gramma going. I have 4 grandsons and when they are all around it totally exhausts me.....so you rest when you can and know that your being blessed in the best possible way. Those kids will be so thankful someday that they didn't end up in foster homes....hope your daughter finds her way soon....

mooselips

(((Painter)))
Big hugs to you for being a wonderful Grannie.

And big hus and prayers to ALL the grannies, and gramps out there taking care of the wee children....bless you...


(I'm praying she gets over her bug sooon...!)

But then again, clean bedrooms are kinda nice...

prayers for your daughter. too.

painter

Heard today that Ad is still in local jail and will not go before judge until Oct. 17. She is due to have this baby the end of Oct. or early Nov. She is now telling everyone that she is having pains in stomach and they will not take her to doctor. Tell her to lay down and put a cold cloth on her head. Not sure what that is suppose to do. Not sure if she is really sick or just playing her cards. All I can do is pray. But stomach is still not listening when I tell it to settle down. This all seems like a nightmare that I will wake up from. In the mean time I have baths to give, clothes to wash and little ones to dance with. God give me strength and patience to wait on His plan. Thank all. Love to each and everyone of you.

greeteachday

(((((Painter)))))
You are a very special lady. You, the little ones and your daughter remain in my prayers. Thank you for being who you are. Love and hugs, Hope you get a good night's sleep.

gotahavfaith

God will give you the strenth that you need. And he does have a plan tho sometimes maybe he could give us a little peek (LOL). I can totally relate as I have 2 grandkids in house almost 2 and 5 this sunday. Sending prayers to you. I know what exhausted is but just put one foot in front of the other and try to take a little time for yourself. (The dancing part is nice tho isn't it.

Thinking of you
Gotahavfaith

lisa1235

my heart goes out to you all.take it easy,i feel the worst is over.the worst for an addict is to be on the run.thank god shes safe.im hoping all of this wakes her up.i know its hard but all of this could turn things around.you have to trust things will work out for the best and it is not your fault for any of this.so dont let her put you on guilt trips about how bad jail is.it is bad but they have medical 24 hrs a day theyre not going to let nothing happen to her.i d been there many times and looking back that was the only time i was safe.im praying 4 u all...