vegibean

I am still new and one thing I've learned in the MONTHS of being in treatment is "keeping it green". No matter how many days, weeks, months or years I have I should never forget where I came from.

One great thing that I learned about what I do as an addict is my behavior and I learned that a lot of things I was doing was just as bad as picking up a drink or was at least the first step in taking one.

Also, when people make suggestions I should "take the cotton out of my ears and stick it in my mouth" and take a look at what I'm doing because sometimes other people, our peers, friends, family, sober supports see things that we don't because we're in the middle of it or "in our own way" so to speak.

Sobriety isn't a bed of roses, a bowl of cherries, some days it's a living hell and I'm prepared to deal with that with out picking up. Acceptance is key for me.

Anyway, there is a reason why I had to post this and mainly because I was at a group tonight and a gal there had some issues that I addressed and she felt hurt by what I said and when she attacked me I said nothing because that's her stuff, not mine.

I will, however, never sign off on anyone's BS. Why? Because if I make it ok for you to do what ever it is that you're doing, you know what? That means that I just laid down the path to make it ok for me to do in the future. I'm setting myself up for a relapse and that's not ok!!!!

Here goes the final vent of it all......................

If you're going to tell me about your bad behavior I'm going to call you on it and I would expect you to do the same for me.........if you care.

Thanks!!

HopeTo180

Hey vegi,
Nice vent! Good to see you working out the kinks. The social part of sobriety is a tough one for me. I find that I have little patience for any BS. I've tried to figure it out but I don't have the patience for that either. lol. I've tried spelling it over and over like a child hood friend suggested but I know how to spell the darn thing! I don't know, maybe when I require less of my attention, I'll be able to apply some elsewhere.

I hope you're enjoying your new place. And that you've settled in and have made it your cozy home. Spoil yourself. Prayers

bostonluv

I like that Vegibean. Sign me up for honesty also - not tell it like it is hurt for hurts sake but sometimes we need to hear, yeah, you screwed up. Why'd you that? And not get the same enabling words: It's okay, Don't beat yourself up, etc. Well don't beat yourself up - Stop the bad behavior and then FIX IT. Great post!!

kj3880

OK...Vegi. But don't change your mind if we say something about your "bad behavior," not that I've noticed any. lol
KJ

vegibean

You got it!!!

IO Storm

Sounds like recovery to me...

endzoner

thanks vegi i needed to hear that...

scaredykat

Thanks for your post Vegi. A lot of honesty. I like that. Keep up the good job.

I too, have to "keep it green" on a daily basis and coming on here and going to my meetings helps me to do that.

Barb

Jersey Nonny

There's a line from a Robert Burns poem:

Quote:

O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!

...loosely translated, "Oh, would the Higher Power give us the gift to see ourselves as others see us."

Although I agree that it's not advisable to "sugar coat" for fear it appears we're accepting behavior that could be counter-productive to recovery, not everyone appreciates total honesty...especially those in early sobriety. There can be a fine line between being tactfully helpful and just plain critical...and it often depends upon who's doling out the criticism. A sponsor can say in private what might not be received well by a group member in the presence of the rest of the group.

Alcoholics, in general, are inclined to be overly sensitive...very thin-skinned. I, personally, used to be hyper-sensitive...then, super-sensitive...now, just sensitive (often depending on how bad a day I'm having). So, at least I'm showing signs of improvement...and, that's progress.

I also come to SR as a means of keeping my memory green, recalling that "He who forgets to remember is doomed to repeat." So, I need to be reminded of "how it was" by others trying to get/stay sober. Just because I have X number of years doesn't make me immune to the cunning, baffling, powerful aspects of the disease.

IO Storm

Thanks Jerz..

Sometimes it's not easy being "green"....

Sometimes..especially lately..my rear has been about to fall off, and I have

not shared a whole lot about it. After all..I have more than two years..

whoop e doo...

i am supposed to be helping others...

How I have come across is..grumpy and super sensitive.

Dangerous ground for an alkie like me..we are as sick as our secrets.

Thanks for adding this important point Jerz.