lost111

Hi
I keep hearing that there is nothing I can do. I know I didn't cause my mother's alcoholism and I know I can't cure it. My mother won't listen to reason and is in denial. I told her I was out of her life if the drinking continued. That had no effect. I know if she doesn't admit she has a problem and won't help herself, there isn't anything anyone can do. But how do you get over the fact that all of this is going on and there's NOTHING anyone can do. I think I am just frustrated and angry.

Bamboozle

Hey, lost. I usually don't visit this forum, but here's a hug: I'm sorry.

tromboneliness

I made various attempts to "fix" my parents' alcoholism when I was younger. Once, I poured out... must have been a couple-hundred bucks' worth of booze (which was "left over" from a New Year's party they had hosted -- buying tons of extra so they'd "have to use it up" afterwards). Over the years, I persistently nagged my mother, didn't much to my father (because he was, and is, prone to bouts of rage), etc., but did various other things to make it clear that I felt they drank too much and needed to do something about it. None of it had any effect. That's because there's no way to make someone give it up. Can't do it.

The way I look at it is to flip it around. How many people are there who control me? Do I make drastic changes in my personality and behavior just because someone else asked, begged, raged, manipulated, and nagged me? No way -- I am who I am, and any changes I make are generally because I decided I needed to.

That part seems obvious... doesn't it? So -- who am I to think I can change other people? They can't change me, so why should it be any different the other way around?

That's how I think about it, anyway.

endzoner

you can help yourself try alanon for yourself to get the tools to understand the why's . peace and serenity with you