Back from my trips.........
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Back from my trips.........
REJUVENATION at it's best!!!!!!
What I have learned is I learn by "doing"...... not by "saying". I physically detached from it all- surrounded myself in non-drama situations and incredible ~ amazing friends and good music! Just the antidote!
The first weekend a lot of "uhoh - what if he picks up again? or what is he up to?" was creeping up. The 2nd weekend.... it was more like..... "If he picks up then I know what will be the process."
Not that I"m wanting to tempt fate.... but I have come to the conclusion - that I am NOT going to step in his way! If he is going to have to go down further..... then just do it. I'm not scared of it anymore (for me).... he is going to do what he is going to do! REGARDLESS! I just know what I'm going to do to save myself should he! And he knows too!
My whole entire family knows about what is going on~! I can not tell you just how much that helps me! Now when he is at meetings - I tell my family that he is at a meeting - and so does he! Recovery is talked about! No more alcohol being offered to him at family gatherings. EVERYONE now knows~!
I did drug test him coming home from the two weekends- and both came up negative for oxy. Only reason why we did that - is because I was gone and trust is still being rebuilt. I am NOT trusting anything right now - accept for action.
What I find that is helping me tremendously is thinking like a massage therapist. I'm giving my energy towards him, but I have a built in reflector surrounding me that will not take in his energy. I call it loving with detachment.
We are going (all 4 of us) back east end of Sept to see his family.... and his folks will meet my boys for the first time! VERY excited about that! My 10 year old already has packed his suitcase! lol
Well- I just wanted to let you all know that I am back!
And..... if any of you are able to take a weekend or two off and just focus on YOU and your joys............ I HIGHLY recommend it!!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo
PS - the power in "JUST FOR TODAY"! IS where it's AT~~~~~~~!!!!
What I have learned is I learn by "doing"...... not by "saying". I physically detached from it all- surrounded myself in non-drama situations and incredible ~ amazing friends and good music! Just the antidote!
The first weekend a lot of "uhoh - what if he picks up again? or what is he up to?" was creeping up. The 2nd weekend.... it was more like..... "If he picks up then I know what will be the process."
Not that I"m wanting to tempt fate.... but I have come to the conclusion - that I am NOT going to step in his way! If he is going to have to go down further..... then just do it. I'm not scared of it anymore (for me).... he is going to do what he is going to do! REGARDLESS! I just know what I'm going to do to save myself should he! And he knows too!
My whole entire family knows about what is going on~! I can not tell you just how much that helps me! Now when he is at meetings - I tell my family that he is at a meeting - and so does he! Recovery is talked about! No more alcohol being offered to him at family gatherings. EVERYONE now knows~!
I did drug test him coming home from the two weekends- and both came up negative for oxy. Only reason why we did that - is because I was gone and trust is still being rebuilt. I am NOT trusting anything right now - accept for action.
What I find that is helping me tremendously is thinking like a massage therapist. I'm giving my energy towards him, but I have a built in reflector surrounding me that will not take in his energy. I call it loving with detachment.
We are going (all 4 of us) back east end of Sept to see his family.... and his folks will meet my boys for the first time! VERY excited about that! My 10 year old already has packed his suitcase! lol
Well- I just wanted to let you all know that I am back!
And..... if any of you are able to take a weekend or two off and just focus on YOU and your joys............ I HIGHLY recommend it!!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo
PS - the power in "JUST FOR TODAY"! IS where it's AT~~~~~~~!!!!
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Getting away, and being TRULY alone without all the hassles and stinky thoughts is good medicine.
I love to take my kayak, or boat out and just let my mind drift along with the boat...YUM!
I love to take my kayak, or boat out and just let my mind drift along with the boat...YUM!
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