KELS1961

Well today I did not cry.
I got my apt nice and clean and it is so quite.
I am not getting yelled at!!!!
Is someone calling you filthy names and screaming at you while drunk and never shutting up is that verbal abuse?
The last time I called the police on him he got right in my face and said kelli I mean it you better shut the f... up I am warning you. I did not utter a word. That was the first time I felt a little scared in the 2 years he has never hit me. I do not think he would but you never know. Why do they want to put you down I used to fight back but I finally quit you cannot win with a drunk.
And the thing is it did not hurt my feelings but it would make my heart pound and I would get shakey. Then he would want to try and have sex I would tell him to get the hell away from me why do they do this.Then he told me I would never make it without him well I sem to being just fine.
I know he loves me cause when he was sober he was always hugging me doing everything for me. Then he gets drunk and I am just trash.
The last time I had to go see my counsler I am bipolar it is under control but when I saw my counsler I had not slept for days and I started crying and crying I was so so tired next thing I know they are talking about me going into the hospital I said no way. I said I am upset but I am not manic I am carring on a normal conversion. They told me then go to a womens shelter I said no I am going home they said if I did off to the hospital I was not the one drunk and crazy so I let them call my mom and I spent the night there.
I will never again tell my counsler anything like that again never.
In fact he has called several times and I refuse to call him back.
I just go in see the doc get my meds and leave. I feel like he betrayed my trust. It has been three years since I was in the hospital and believe me I do not want to go back. I lost faith in the mental health system I tell them what they want to hear and that is that. Sorry so long but it makes me furious They want me in the hospital cause he is drunk!!!!!
He said it was for my saftey that was a bunch of bull.
Thanks for listening.
Kelli...

Rainbowsend

They put you down as they are scared you will leave, it's about control, often we are the only thing in their life they feel they control. Sometimes it's poor self esteem, they feel better at our expense.

I never thought my exAB would hit me and technically he didn't but he grabbed me by the throat and bruised my jaw.

You make your own choices though, to continue to be controlled and abused or to do something about it.

Please don't cut your couselour off just yet, many of them have had experience of drug and alcohol abuse, ask them if they have.

KELS1961

I have kicked him out he is no longer living with me,

LaTeeDa

I can understand how you must feel. You manage to get away from a controlling abuser, and the people you went to for help tried to control you. Or, at least, that must have been how it felt to you.

Try to look at it from the counselor's point of view, though. What motivation would he have other than concern for you? I believe he really was trying to protect you the best way he could. May not have been the best way for you, or what you wanted, but I seriously doubt there were evil intentions there.

L