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Having A Really Hard Day!

Old 09-05-2008, 10:46 AM
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Having A Really Hard Day!

Hi! I am having a really hard day and I need your help. Last night, my sponsor called me and fired me! It was so weird! I have been sober for 4 1/2 months, I graduated from treatment, I go to an AA meeting almost every day, I did everything she asked me to do! She just told me a week ago that I was the most "willing" sponsee she has ever worked with! WTF???

I was shocked when she said she didn't want to work with me anymore. She kept saying "it's just not working!" over and over! I tried to get a reason out of her and finally she said some BS like, "it's not you, it's me!" WTF??? Then she said "I am firing you in a loud voice and hung up on me!"

I have poored my heart out to this woman. I worked steps 1-7 with her for goodness sake! How can she just drop someone like a piece of garbage? I have huge abandonment issues and she knew that! The good news is, I have a new sponsor already, the bad news, I am depressed, angry and hurt.

Can you help?
:wtf2
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Old 09-05-2008, 10:57 AM
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courage

I see a lot of courage coming from you, and you already have a new sponsor. Wow, seven steps in 4 and 1/2 months, good for you.
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:04 AM
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I'm sorry that happened, Jen.

I guess this was someone you thought you could trust, and it turned out that she had issues too. I'd believe what she said, that's it's about her, not you.
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:07 AM
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Jen - Can't really offer you anything except :praying and :ghug3

I would venture to guess it was her issue though and not yours. Keep doing what you've been doing because it seems to be working. Let her go. I know that's hard because of what you poured out to her, but maybe this new sponsor will be even more of what you need. I believe people come into our lives when we need them.
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:22 AM
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Jen,

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I had a sponsor who just dropped out of sight. We heard she went out but I don't know what happened.

Don't blame yourself unless there's reason to! If you're confident you've done the best you can, done all the work you were asked to do, get another sponsor. It could be your old one was feeling overwhelmed and shaky herself.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:24 AM
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Glad you have another sponsor. Just don't pay too much heed to the one who 'fired' you. It's obviously her problem and not yours. Don't make too much of it. Keep on staying sober!

:ghug3
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:37 AM
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I'm so Sorry you had to Encounter such a Sick Individual, But I agree with
Anna, the Problem is not you, is Her, Sponsor, or no Sponsor, we are all Sick Individuals.

But Look at the Bright side: One Door Closes, and the Other one Opens,
and now you have a new sponsor, and give your self some credit look-
all you achieve,I Envy you but in a Good way, today I make 2 month clean
and I don't even make meetings, or have a sponsor.

I also have Issues with Sponsors, I have to work on my Trust issues
I had a Sponsor once in 2001,and she was very humiliating, stalking me
at all times, she was acting more like a Mom,than a Sponsor,

Give your Self a Pat on your Back and Remember,"This Too Shall Pass"
I admire you for your Hard work, and Dedication, you put in doing your steps
and Remember when you Do Recovery weather Be the Steps you Doing it for You
only You.....
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Old 09-05-2008, 02:57 PM
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I am new to the site and just reading this thread. That sounds like it would be a hard thing to have to go through in early recovery. I am not all that familiar with sponsorship yet, but I could see how it would hurt to become that close with someone and have that happen. Glad to see that you have a new one and wish you the best!

Congratulations on over four months sober as well!!!
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Old 09-05-2008, 03:06 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Greenbean....
Welcome to our recovery community
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Old 09-05-2008, 03:16 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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...Jen
Yes, it was not the correct way to sever sponsorship.
She must have been very upset about something in her life.

You did all the correct things in fact...made awesome
progress in a short time. And are continueing to do
so with another sponsor. Excellent....

You might want to read the chapter
"Freedom From Bondage" part of it has directions
for healing resentments .. in case you need to know.

Forward we go...side by side...
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Old 09-05-2008, 03:24 PM
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I think you are doing great!
Wow, sounds like your old sponsor did have some issues.
This is definitely a her problem, not yours.
Congrats on getting another sponsor!
May I suggest that you start on Step 5 with your new sponsor?
That will give her a chance to get to know you and maybe you will learn and grow from the experience.
Your HP is looking out for you and you are exactly where you are supposed to be!
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Old 09-05-2008, 04:06 PM
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Thanks so much guys! I love this forum! :ghug2
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Old 09-05-2008, 05:38 PM
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I know nothing about sponsors and things like that.
But maybe it is for the best. For whatever reason. You never really know what someone else may be going through. She may have had reasons for your sake. And some people just go about things differently.
So you know you did nothing. Thats all that matters.
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