really down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 333
really down
Hi
sorry about this but I am so down today. It seems like since I've stopped drinking, everything has become much more 'real'. I know that, in reality this is a 'good' thing, but it scares me. My husband is at work, the children at school and nursery and I have another day to get through. I am looking so hard for a job, but am failing at ever turn. I am a highly qualified social worker but no-one seems to want me. I kind of thought I would walk into another job after leaving my last one - long and unpleasant story - but it's just not happening. To be honest, there's only so much housework i can do!! We need my income so badly, but all i want to do is run away and sit on a greek island somewhere with a large bottle of wine. Does anyone understand? What can I do?
Thanks
Sorry for being so self-indulgent..
sas
sorry about this but I am so down today. It seems like since I've stopped drinking, everything has become much more 'real'. I know that, in reality this is a 'good' thing, but it scares me. My husband is at work, the children at school and nursery and I have another day to get through. I am looking so hard for a job, but am failing at ever turn. I am a highly qualified social worker but no-one seems to want me. I kind of thought I would walk into another job after leaving my last one - long and unpleasant story - but it's just not happening. To be honest, there's only so much housework i can do!! We need my income so badly, but all i want to do is run away and sit on a greek island somewhere with a large bottle of wine. Does anyone understand? What can I do?
Thanks
Sorry for being so self-indulgent..
sas
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 177
Put one foot in front of the other, One step at a time. Stay focused on where you are trying to go and keep moving toward it. I find that when I stop looking at all the possibilities and instead direct my energy toward what I can do right now to improve my situation, I am effective at resolving problems. If I can do nothing about my problems then I hand them over to my HP and consentrate on something I can do something about. Get involved in something, help someone out, try something new, challenge myself, etc...
Stick with it SadMummy, you will get there if you just keep going.
Stick with it SadMummy, you will get there if you just keep going.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: England
Posts: 1,981
I totaly understand. I will run away to the island with you and bring the chilled wine. Just kidding but yes I understand.
I am told this will get easier.
The right job will come along at the right time. There is a reason for you not getting the others you have applied for, even if you dont know what that reason is yet. Life has a funny way of putting you in the right place at the right time. If you stay sober it will come good. If you pick up, you may miss it.
Keep your chin up x
I am told this will get easier.
The right job will come along at the right time. There is a reason for you not getting the others you have applied for, even if you dont know what that reason is yet. Life has a funny way of putting you in the right place at the right time. If you stay sober it will come good. If you pick up, you may miss it.
Keep your chin up x
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Seems to be going around.
I have been feeling the same way.
To me its tiring to stay clean AND deal with my messes I have long ignored. And on top of it. Try and live a new way.
It is alot for us to do. Just staying sober is a task in its self.
I have no wisdom for you. Just know your not alone.
I have been feeling the same way.
To me its tiring to stay clean AND deal with my messes I have long ignored. And on top of it. Try and live a new way.
It is alot for us to do. Just staying sober is a task in its self.
I have no wisdom for you. Just know your not alone.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Your words so elequently pulled me right back into how I felt in early sobriety. It was a frightening and sometimes overwhelming time. All the emotions that had been drowned for years suddenly thought it was time to show their faces. There were days when I felt I was drowing in a sea of emotions. Each wave that crashed into me was a different emotion. I spent hours upon hours just driving through the countryside trying to drown out the emotions and shut the committe in my head off.
Many days it was exhausting trying to keep up with ordinary life while facing the sea of emotion. But for me it did get better. Personally the Steps of AA helped me immensely as it provided me with the tools to deal with emotions I had either never learned how to deal with or long forgotten how to deal with. The harder I worked on my program of AA the calmer the sea became. The good days started lasting longer and the bad days shortened.
Today after over 7 years I no longer feel I am drowning. I still have much to learn as there is so much I did not learn about emotions as a young adult because I was already drowning them in alcohol.
Do hang in there. Tomorrow is a new day so concentrate on the day you have in front of you. Just put one foot in front of the other and don't drink today then tomorrow will take care of itself. Find a program of recovery, if you haven't already, and throw yourself into it like you did your drinking. Your life will change. :ghug2
Many days it was exhausting trying to keep up with ordinary life while facing the sea of emotion. But for me it did get better. Personally the Steps of AA helped me immensely as it provided me with the tools to deal with emotions I had either never learned how to deal with or long forgotten how to deal with. The harder I worked on my program of AA the calmer the sea became. The good days started lasting longer and the bad days shortened.
Today after over 7 years I no longer feel I am drowning. I still have much to learn as there is so much I did not learn about emotions as a young adult because I was already drowning them in alcohol.
Do hang in there. Tomorrow is a new day so concentrate on the day you have in front of you. Just put one foot in front of the other and don't drink today then tomorrow will take care of itself. Find a program of recovery, if you haven't already, and throw yourself into it like you did your drinking. Your life will change. :ghug2
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
sadmummy,
Have you considered doing some part-time volunteer work? My aunt was volunteering at a children's shelter and ended up with a job offer! Pretty fair money and good bennies too.
I work full time but was volunteering one day a week at a womens shelter doing accounting. Very boring stuff but it filled a day for me. I was also offered a paying job. You never know when or where a great opportunity might come to you.
Love,
Lenina
Have you considered doing some part-time volunteer work? My aunt was volunteering at a children's shelter and ended up with a job offer! Pretty fair money and good bennies too.
I work full time but was volunteering one day a week at a womens shelter doing accounting. Very boring stuff but it filled a day for me. I was also offered a paying job. You never know when or where a great opportunity might come to you.
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 1,340
Just think of it, how much more qualified you're becoming every day, fighting the same battles that many of your clients face 
You're going to have insight that you didn't before. I second the volunteering advice. It's something to do to fill up the days and it really can lead to a job, and not slowly, either.
You're going to have insight that you didn't before. I second the volunteering advice. It's something to do to fill up the days and it really can lead to a job, and not slowly, either.
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