Chic

My RAD lives with me and is a SLOB.....She left something in the bathroom about 3 wks ago and I stubbed my toe on it....thought I had just broken my toe. So I taped it up to the other toe beside it, thinking it would just heal. Now it looks like a small sausage, has a big knot, and hurts so bad I can hardly walk. I do believe I have dislocated something & I have to go see a podiatrist.

Mistakes happen, but when I told my daughter about this, she just shrugged it off like it was nothing. Of course, it didn't affect her, so she could care less.

Does anyone, besides me, ever resent the uncaring attitude which is expressed towards us by our addict? Hey, how hard is "I'm sorry" or "Hope it gets better?" Don't really need advice, just want a "Poor Little Toe" pity party.

marle

Sometimes my RAD can seem so uncaring and then she will do something to surprise me. Yesterday she did the dishes and washed my coffee cup. Might not sound like much but my cup is really grubby as I never wash it. Also today when she was finished with her doctor's appointment she bought my husband a pair of ear plugs because he had lost his and was saying he needed more. But she can also still be very selfish. So I think that it is the norm for addicts and maybe she will surprise you in the near future. Nothing big, but the little things count too. Hugs and I am sorry about your toe. I hope you feel better soon. Marle

itisatruth

For your "poor little toe": take care of yourself and hope you feel better soon. And get back to your normal shape. LOL. "Sausage" isn't a good look for anyone!

Also sorry your RAD is not being considerate of you at this time. If it's any consolation, my 26 yr. old step son just moved home and already I can't find ONE cordless phone (out of 4) and the bathroom is on its way to being a mess. He has broken or lost so many of my things it drives me crazy. Guess what I'm saying is, even though he's not an addict, he still acts very much like a teenager and thinks mostly about himself. Don't get me wrong, he is a good young man and I love him; I just wish he'd pull his head out of his you know what and grow up. He is. Just slowly.

Take care of that toe -- it doesn't sound good......and take care of you too while expressing your boundaries/needs to someone who lives with you.

Chic

"Does anyone, besides me, ever resent the uncaring attitude which is expressed towards us by our addict?"

Ok-so I was being a wee bit of a crybaby...she can be sweet as pie sometimes. I just get so frustrated because I want my daughter back instead of the RAD that I have...I still wish for that sometimes...

Thank you for your sympathy and input.

baxter

I'm so tickled I found someone else who doesn't wash a coffee cup, Marle!

I hate broken toes. Used to be a barefooter all the time and have broken my little toes so much I don't think they're attached anymore.

All three of my girls are slobs. They just walk through the door and it's like a tornado hit the place. They keep their places pretty darn neat and I've always threatened someday to just go to their place and start throwing things around. They say it's their way of making themselves at home, meaning mom will clean it up, since I have since they were born.

I used to take everything they left laying around and lock it up, took the cordless phone and remote controls to work with me too, until they learned to put stuff away. Most of the time I made them buy it back for a dime which I raised to a dollar when they were older. Never really kept the money but they watched where they put things. It's not as bad as it sounds. Wow, I sounded like a drill instructor, but with three girls it sure was a mess, especially the bathroom.

itisatruth

Hi Chic -- it's ok, be a cry baby (not that you were ), that's what's great about SR -- we can share, cry, and comfort each other in our troubles whatever they may be. I hope I didn't sound like I wasn't understanding about your RAD. I understand dealing with a person in addiction, especially a child, can be devastating and being patient in recovery is sometimes challenging. Even though there is progress, maybe sometimes its hard to see passed the addiction or the pain it caused. I know its that way with my AH and me. Most days he can't do anything right. He is not in recovery.

How long has she been in recovery? How old is she? I hope you are seeing progress and that she keeps working on her recovery. And I did mean what I said about your toe -- even though I was joking a bit. Take care, Rica

Chic

"How long has she been in recovery? How old is she? I hope you are seeing progress and that she keeps working on her recovery. And I did mean what I said about your toe -- even though I was joking a bit. "

Honey, at this point if I didn't laugh, I would cry & you made me laugh. And laughing makes your day go so much better.

She will be 28 in October, is Hep C+, & was clean for 22months, relapsed, and has again been clean for about 2 months. I pray she stays clean but only time and will tell. She goes to IOP (I am her sober support & do the best I can) and she goes to NA & AA. She has 3 children that my ex & I deal with most of the time (thank goodness they are good kids & seems like they are mine as well.) but mercy, the 5th grade homework seems mighty hard these days.

Thanks for caring, Chic (Lordy-to only be a real Chic again)