Please help me welcome 2000dyna
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,015
Please help me welcome 2000dyna
Posted in the Bikers In Recovery forum here on SR.........
Wanted to introduce myself
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Hello everyone,
Hope you don't mind another newbie joining in....
We both ride, I have a 2000 Dyna Super glide and he has an 88 Softail.I just thought I would feel more comfortable talking with you all.
I'm not an alcoholic but my fiance is and I found this forum while looking into al anon. I guess I'm just looking to see how the rest of you are handling your recovery or the issues you deal with while trying to get sober. My fiance's drinking has gradually gotten worse over the last year and a half. He comes from a biker family in which he grew up around alcohol and drugs. Luckily he has never done drugs, but the alcohol use has increased from social, to 1 or 2/day, til now he is averaging a 6 pack or better per day. I know this is not my fault, that I can't control him or his drinking, and that he has to take responsibility for his actions. He tells me he wants to quit, that he hates waking up feeling like s**t, but his resolve only last a day, maybe 2. I've suggested AA, but of course 'AA is for quitters'. He doesn't do organized anything real well and I know that this is something he is just going to have to do on his own. He goes to work everyday and supports his family so he doesn't think his problem is that bad, but he scares me to death when we go out for a ride and he starts drinking. Sometimes he maintains and only has 1 or 2, other times he has more and I find myself watching out for him on the bike more than I'm paying attention to mine. I get so mad at him sometimes because of the stupid things he does when he drinks! He embarrasses the kids and I with his obnoxious behavior and of course all his friends drink as much as he does if not more.
Anyway, this is turning into a rant which I didn't want. Just wanted to say hi and that I'm glad I found you guys!
Wanted to introduce myself
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello everyone,
Hope you don't mind another newbie joining in....
We both ride, I have a 2000 Dyna Super glide and he has an 88 Softail.I just thought I would feel more comfortable talking with you all.
I'm not an alcoholic but my fiance is and I found this forum while looking into al anon. I guess I'm just looking to see how the rest of you are handling your recovery or the issues you deal with while trying to get sober. My fiance's drinking has gradually gotten worse over the last year and a half. He comes from a biker family in which he grew up around alcohol and drugs. Luckily he has never done drugs, but the alcohol use has increased from social, to 1 or 2/day, til now he is averaging a 6 pack or better per day. I know this is not my fault, that I can't control him or his drinking, and that he has to take responsibility for his actions. He tells me he wants to quit, that he hates waking up feeling like s**t, but his resolve only last a day, maybe 2. I've suggested AA, but of course 'AA is for quitters'. He doesn't do organized anything real well and I know that this is something he is just going to have to do on his own. He goes to work everyday and supports his family so he doesn't think his problem is that bad, but he scares me to death when we go out for a ride and he starts drinking. Sometimes he maintains and only has 1 or 2, other times he has more and I find myself watching out for him on the bike more than I'm paying attention to mine. I get so mad at him sometimes because of the stupid things he does when he drinks! He embarrasses the kids and I with his obnoxious behavior and of course all his friends drink as much as he does if not more.
Anyway, this is turning into a rant which I didn't want. Just wanted to say hi and that I'm glad I found you guys!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Welcome to SR! 
It's nice to meet you. You might want to take a look at our sticky threads at the top of the forum page for some useful resources and information.
There are lots of great people here who will be glad to share what we call our ESH-
Experience
Strength
Hope
It's nice to meet you. You might want to take a look at our sticky threads at the top of the forum page for some useful resources and information.
There are lots of great people here who will be glad to share what we call our ESH-
Experience
Strength
Hope
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Hello 2000dyna, welcome to SR. I look forward to seeing more posts from you on our Friends and Families forum. Everyone there is living with, or has lived with an alcoholic and so we all completely understand the anxiety and stress it can heap upon us. The good news is that we can change the dynamics if we choose to.
You sound as though you have got the right idea though - you didn't cause it can't control it, can't cure it - the 3 C's. I found that dating an A took me into some dark places within myself where I lost my ability to care for me and my life, and all my focus was centred on him and his problems which quickly became mine.
Reading books such as 'Codependant no more' by Melody Beattie, and posting here for support has really helped me get things back on track for me and my little girl.
Keep posting, and as suggested read through the stickies. Click on anyones name to see the posting history.
Love to you
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You sound as though you have got the right idea though - you didn't cause it can't control it, can't cure it - the 3 C's. I found that dating an A took me into some dark places within myself where I lost my ability to care for me and my life, and all my focus was centred on him and his problems which quickly became mine.
Reading books such as 'Codependant no more' by Melody Beattie, and posting here for support has really helped me get things back on track for me and my little girl.
Keep posting, and as suggested read through the stickies. Click on anyones name to see the posting history.
Love to you
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
2000dyna
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 9
Thank you for welcoming me!
I'm just at the point in this relationship where I am losing all respect for him and I don't want to feel that way. His drinking and selfish behavior annoys me and I know is traumatizing the kids. It's getting to the point where we all tiptoe around him when he drinks or just disappear so we don't bring out that Jeckell an Hyde personality. Of course since we never know what is going to set him off, it doesn't work well.
Anyway, will look around, check things out and do my best to give love and support to other's who are in this same crazy atmosphere.
I'm just at the point in this relationship where I am losing all respect for him and I don't want to feel that way. His drinking and selfish behavior annoys me and I know is traumatizing the kids. It's getting to the point where we all tiptoe around him when he drinks or just disappear so we don't bring out that Jeckell an Hyde personality. Of course since we never know what is going to set him off, it doesn't work well.
Anyway, will look around, check things out and do my best to give love and support to other's who are in this same crazy atmosphere.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 184
Welcome!!! You will find alot of people who are at different places in their recovery...some are very new and others have maybe even made it! Either way, you are in the right place and will find alot caring and supportive people! I have made this board an important tool in my recovery.
Last edited by theotherone; 09-03-2008 at 02:54 PM.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Happy to meet you and welcome to SR.
Im glad you found us and Im sure that many here will know how your feeling since we have been there too. Hang out, check out the other posts and stickies, there is a wealth of information in those stickies.
Im glad your here and I look forward to getting to know you better.
Im glad you found us and Im sure that many here will know how your feeling since we have been there too. Hang out, check out the other posts and stickies, there is a wealth of information in those stickies.
Im glad your here and I look forward to getting to know you better.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome to SR! Glad that you found us! Happy to see that you were
checking out Al-Anon and hope that you do give it a try...it has been
a great recovery path for me! And of course so has SR!!
Rant away we are all here to listen-some going through the same as you are
now and others that have been there-Please know you are not alone-there
is a lot of support all over these boards!
Welcome again!
checking out Al-Anon and hope that you do give it a try...it has been
a great recovery path for me! And of course so has SR!!
Rant away we are all here to listen-some going through the same as you are
now and others that have been there-Please know you are not alone-there
is a lot of support all over these boards!
Welcome again!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The beautiful Midwest
Posts: 202
2000 dyna, you have found a wonderful place to share your feelings and hear stories of how others have worked through their own recovery and also dealt with the A in their life. This forum has helped me tremendously. I am new to recovery myself. I asked my XABF of 3 years to leave the end of June and he has been gone since the first week of July. We occassionally see each other as friends but I have detached in such a way that his decisions and actions do not affect me anymore. I have found great support on this board and discovered that there is a lot of good advice to help me through the tough times. We are glad that you found us.
Blessings
Blessings
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