Tortured
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 50
Tortured
It is the only word that describes how I feel. I am long over due for surgery, but it is now coming in 6 weeks. (I had to wait for FMLA to kick back in at work from my last surgery) I have been told to stay off my legs until then. My leg is currently fractured it is so delibitated and in enourmous pain only buffered by medication. AH talked a great game while in rehab. Not to worry, everything was going to change when he got home. But that was a lie, as all of his words are. I am seeing a therapist who even she is shocked at his behavior towards me. I keep trying everthing and it doesn't work. He doesn't go to meetings, we fight, etc. I go to therapy and Al-anon and try to work everything, but I feel like I am drowning.
Last night, we were watching TV together and the guys wife said she was treated like a queen. Since we were "getting along", I made a joke and said, I want to be treated like the queen I am. He said something to the effect that if you weren't so sick all of the time, maybe you would. God that hurt. I was crushed and began to cry. He said, if you would only get up more, try this, try that....as if I can will away this.
In 6 weeks I will be in a hospital bed. At his mercy. I have no family or friends to help. God help me.
Last night, we were watching TV together and the guys wife said she was treated like a queen. Since we were "getting along", I made a joke and said, I want to be treated like the queen I am. He said something to the effect that if you weren't so sick all of the time, maybe you would. God that hurt. I was crushed and began to cry. He said, if you would only get up more, try this, try that....as if I can will away this.
In 6 weeks I will be in a hospital bed. At his mercy. I have no family or friends to help. God help me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Earth School
Posts: 137
You CAN do this! Reach out....
Originally Posted by GreenEyedGirl39 
I go to therapy and Al-anon and try to work everything, but I feel like I am drowning. I have no family or friends to help.
Which is: visitors at the hospital, phone calls, etc. Maybe someone can bring a chicken over so you don't have to cook, and you make some out-reach phone calls. People like to help - that's what we do! We're caretakers! 
I don't have any family either and I have to rely strictly on program people - my family of choice. You CAN do this!
Originally Posted by GreenEyedGirl39
Since we were "getting along", I made a joke and said, I want to be treated like the queen I am. He said something to the effect that if you weren't so sick all of the time, maybe you would. God that hurt. I was crushed and began to cry.....6 weeks I'll be in a hospital bed and at his mercy.
And lastly, you're only at his mercy if you allow yourself to be.
Call some women. Be real with them. Tell them you're scared to reach out but you really, really need a friend. The first word of the first step is "we". "We are powerless....." "We" don't do this thing alone".BIG hugs and blessings - you can do this! I'm rootin' for ya!
Turning it all around
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 330
Hey Green,
I'm sorry things are not going well. I think it's more than what he said. I think you reached your limit, hence the tears. Each time you pick yourself up you'll be stronger. Remember, God won't give you more than you can handle. I think you said it best at the end of your post
At his mercy...God help me. May he give strength to you and compassion to those around you. Many Prayers
I'm sorry things are not going well. I think it's more than what he said. I think you reached your limit, hence the tears. Each time you pick yourself up you'll be stronger. Remember, God won't give you more than you can handle. I think you said it best at the end of your post
In 6 weeks I will be in a hospital bed. At his mercy. I have no family or friends to help. God help me.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Greeneyedgirl, I'm so sorry you are in such pain - physically and emotionally. I totally agree with Scorpio - you are NOT alone. You are working a program...a program of support and there are so many people who want to help; just yell!
I had only been attending meetings for about 3 months when the darkest days of my life came. My friends in the program (I hadn't even realized yet that they were my friends) completely wrapped me in their caring arms. They brought food, called, sent cards, visited...it was wonderful. And they understood. They had not experienced exactly what I was experiencing but they too were faced with addiction in their lives and knew its effects. Hugs and prayers.
I had only been attending meetings for about 3 months when the darkest days of my life came. My friends in the program (I hadn't even realized yet that they were my friends) completely wrapped me in their caring arms. They brought food, called, sent cards, visited...it was wonderful. And they understood. They had not experienced exactly what I was experiencing but they too were faced with addiction in their lives and knew its effects. Hugs and prayers.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Hi Greeneyedgirl~~I'm so sorry your in such pain. It's not fun being physically and emotionally drained. Please do reach out to your alanon group. I love helping people when their in need and I bet theres alot like that right in front of you....big hugs that things go well~~and I'm sorry your hubby is such a selfish man. Your in my thoughts, Bonnie
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