I went crazy-literally.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
I went crazy-literally.
Well an update from last week......
I posted last week that I was detoxing. I quit taking all my medicines that the doctors put me on while in the hospital. Not just the narcotics but all the pills. I was on 7 different meds including mood stablizers and steroids and other stuff. Well I think I just lost my mind a little bit or rather a whole lot. Tuesday Paul and I were having a disagreement and I went ballistic. I went from shoving him, kicking in the door on his car and ripping the mirror off the car. Kids seen it all. And then I decided to get in my car and left. For those of you who dont know, I dont have a drivers license. I spent 4 months in prison last year for driving while revoked and am on probation. The insanity didnt end there. I tried to detox quietly on my own the rest of the week. I tried minding my p's and q's. But I got in my car again on friday and I had an accident. Yep cops were called and all. I didnt get a ticket or anything cause I know the cop and he's tryin to cut me a break. But I still have to fix the guys car that I hit. It was in a parking lot but I estimate about $3000 in damage. I didnt do damage to my car except a scuff mark. But right now I dont know if my probation officer will hear about this. I am in one hell of a mess. I am pretty much done detoxing. I did go back to taking my meds but I am of the percocet. At any rate I thought Id come and post an update.
Man, I truely forgot the insanity.
I posted last week that I was detoxing. I quit taking all my medicines that the doctors put me on while in the hospital. Not just the narcotics but all the pills. I was on 7 different meds including mood stablizers and steroids and other stuff. Well I think I just lost my mind a little bit or rather a whole lot. Tuesday Paul and I were having a disagreement and I went ballistic. I went from shoving him, kicking in the door on his car and ripping the mirror off the car. Kids seen it all. And then I decided to get in my car and left. For those of you who dont know, I dont have a drivers license. I spent 4 months in prison last year for driving while revoked and am on probation. The insanity didnt end there. I tried to detox quietly on my own the rest of the week. I tried minding my p's and q's. But I got in my car again on friday and I had an accident. Yep cops were called and all. I didnt get a ticket or anything cause I know the cop and he's tryin to cut me a break. But I still have to fix the guys car that I hit. It was in a parking lot but I estimate about $3000 in damage. I didnt do damage to my car except a scuff mark. But right now I dont know if my probation officer will hear about this. I am in one hell of a mess. I am pretty much done detoxing. I did go back to taking my meds but I am of the percocet. At any rate I thought Id come and post an update.
Man, I truely forgot the insanity.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I am sorry Gwen. It sounds like you had a really bad imbalance in your brain. Last week my daughter went ballistic. Turns out it was the Chantix. She is on Suboxone, Seroquel and Trazadone and was doing well until she added in the Chantix. So I definitely know that medication can cause some crazy behavior. Sending you prayers that things work out. Hugs, Marle
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by GwenMarie30 
Well an update from last week......
I posted last week that I was detoxing. I quit taking all my medicines that the doctors put me on while in the hospital. Not just the narcotics but all the pills. I was on 7 different meds including mood stablizers and steroids and other stuff. Well I think I just lost my mind a little bit or rather a whole lot. Tuesday Paul and I were having a disagreement and I went ballistic. I went from shoving him, kicking in the door on his car and ripping the mirror off the car. Kids seen it all. And then I decided to get in my car and left. For those of you who dont know, I dont have a drivers license. I spent 4 months in prison last year for driving while revoked and am on probation. The insanity didnt end there. I tried to detox quietly on my own the rest of the week. I tried minding my p's and q's. But I got in my car again on friday and I had an accident. Yep cops were called and all. I didnt get a ticket or anything cause I know the cop and he's tryin to cut me a break. But I still have to fix the guys car that I hit. It was in a parking lot but I estimate about $3000 in damage. I didnt do damage to my car except a scuff mark. But right now I dont know if my probation officer will hear about this. I am in one hell of a mess. I am pretty much done detoxing. I did go back to taking my meds but I am of the percocet. At any rate I thought Id come and post an update.
Man, I truely forgot the insanity.
I posted last week that I was detoxing. I quit taking all my medicines that the doctors put me on while in the hospital. Not just the narcotics but all the pills. I was on 7 different meds including mood stablizers and steroids and other stuff. Well I think I just lost my mind a little bit or rather a whole lot. Tuesday Paul and I were having a disagreement and I went ballistic. I went from shoving him, kicking in the door on his car and ripping the mirror off the car. Kids seen it all. And then I decided to get in my car and left. For those of you who dont know, I dont have a drivers license. I spent 4 months in prison last year for driving while revoked and am on probation. The insanity didnt end there. I tried to detox quietly on my own the rest of the week. I tried minding my p's and q's. But I got in my car again on friday and I had an accident. Yep cops were called and all. I didnt get a ticket or anything cause I know the cop and he's tryin to cut me a break. But I still have to fix the guys car that I hit. It was in a parking lot but I estimate about $3000 in damage. I didnt do damage to my car except a scuff mark. But right now I dont know if my probation officer will hear about this. I am in one hell of a mess. I am pretty much done detoxing. I did go back to taking my meds but I am of the percocet. At any rate I thought Id come and post an update.
Man, I truely forgot the insanity.
oh wow Gwen I am sorry..... I truly do hope your pro officer does not hear about this. I will be saying prayers for you girl.... Meds can sure do a number on us.
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Don't let yourself fall any farther girl or I'm gonna have to fly over there and .........
:ghug2
Lots of Love to you sister.......
:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Lol. I think Ive straightend myself back out. I gave up the keys again. MOST DEFINITLY! And I started balancing out. No more rages. Im pretty calm now. I see my doctor on wednesday. I was on meds and tried to self medicate by not taking them. Drug addict behavior in its finest form. It realy sucks when I didnt even choose to be on meds. But the main thing is I have alot to be grateful for today. I talked to Paul and he now knows why I went so crazy. So I have his forgiveness. And the kiddos too. He checks on me to see how Im doing and we had a really lengthy talk. I feel pretty calm today and back in my own serenity even if its drug induced.
Part of me feels like I shouldnt even be posting here until Im off all my medications.
Sorry for the flip flop feelings.
Part of me feels like I shouldnt even be posting here until Im off all my medications.
Sorry for the flip flop feelings.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Part of me feels like I shouldnt even be posting here until Im off all my medications.
POST!
lol....
Sorry for the flip flop feelings.
isn't that what recovery is about? feeling?:ghug
<3 YA!!
Black and Yellow
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Done-With-It
ermmm,, cuz..... that's logical..... ?
lol....
POST!
:ghug
lol....
POST!
:ghug
LOL!! Thats what I was thinking!!
Posting here is EXACTLY what you should be doing GwenMarie!! I'm sorry your going through that but maybe if your PO does hear about this he will cut you a break?
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Gwen, if I did not take my Lexapro and Neurontin every day I would NOT be a very nice person!!!!!!
Those are what keep my Bi Polar condition in check.
When I had a bad case of the stomach flu about 2 weeks ago and could not take any meds for almost a week as they wouldn't stay down, I went into BALLISTIC MODE. Thankfully, my dear friend and roommate HID my keys or I would have been HELL ON WHEELS on the road.
Slamming doors, throwing things, etc. I cycled into a TOTALLY MANIC STATE. Once I was able to keep my meds down, or anything for that matter, in about 2 days I was back to what most folks think is my 'normal' state.
My point is this...................................I am sober and clean a LONG TIME, however, if I do not take my medication, I will end up in BIG TROUBLE. I know there are folks in the various recovery programs that think we should be OFF OF EVERYTHING. Well I am not one of them, because I know my own experiences.
I am glad that Paul understands what caused it. I will pray that you take your meds as prescribed so you don't have to go through this again, and I will pray that your police officer friend, does not put in a report since you agreed to pay for the damages to the other car.
Sweetie, this was a 'bump in the road', albeit a pretty big one, but still just a bump.
You know you can call me anytime.
You will be alright, I just know it.
Quite a lesson you learned here!!!!!!!! Don't forget it, lol
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,
Those are what keep my Bi Polar condition in check.
When I had a bad case of the stomach flu about 2 weeks ago and could not take any meds for almost a week as they wouldn't stay down, I went into BALLISTIC MODE. Thankfully, my dear friend and roommate HID my keys or I would have been HELL ON WHEELS on the road.
Slamming doors, throwing things, etc. I cycled into a TOTALLY MANIC STATE. Once I was able to keep my meds down, or anything for that matter, in about 2 days I was back to what most folks think is my 'normal' state.
My point is this...................................I am sober and clean a LONG TIME, however, if I do not take my medication, I will end up in BIG TROUBLE. I know there are folks in the various recovery programs that think we should be OFF OF EVERYTHING. Well I am not one of them, because I know my own experiences.
I am glad that Paul understands what caused it. I will pray that you take your meds as prescribed so you don't have to go through this again, and I will pray that your police officer friend, does not put in a report since you agreed to pay for the damages to the other car.
Sweetie, this was a 'bump in the road', albeit a pretty big one, but still just a bump.
You know you can call me anytime.
You will be alright, I just know it.
Quite a lesson you learned here!!!!!!!! Don't forget it, lol
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Dear Gwen, There is nothing wrong with taking medication your dr orders. I also don't understand you saying you shouldn't post here. If everyone who took medication, ordered by their dr, didn't post here, there wouldn't be many people posting.
Don't be so hard on yourself & please do not cold turkey yourself off of any meds your dr ordered. Many meds have warnings that you must be weaned off. You risk seizures, and a slew of other nasty reactions when you stop taking alot of these meds cold turkey.
Wishing you the best of luck,
Diane
Don't be so hard on yourself & please do not cold turkey yourself off of any meds your dr ordered. Many meds have warnings that you must be weaned off. You risk seizures, and a slew of other nasty reactions when you stop taking alot of these meds cold turkey.
Wishing you the best of luck,
Diane
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Gwen, have you talked to your doctor about this? I think it would be a good idea if you have not, and also perhaps find a therapist or a professional to talk about why you continue to drive even after all you have been through, including jail. Gwen you had an accident and you were admittedly out of control. You could have killed yourself or some innocent person.
I say all this with love in my heart, Gwen, because I am very worried about you and know there is help available for you.
Hugs
I say all this with love in my heart, Gwen, because I am very worried about you and know there is help available for you.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
Still, its OK to focus on the fact that you got off the percocet, which is awesome!
As far as psych meds, the one thing i know, know, know, is never to stop them cold turkey but instead, wean very s-l-o-w-l-y is you decide to stop. I got off mine, but it took 3 months of slow decrease in dosage. Its been a few years without them. And that's a decision you and your sponsor and your doctor and your higher power need to make together. Nobody else can tell you whether to stay on 'em or not. But ya just gotta wean slow! otherwise - there's a lot of rebound insanity - which doesn't necessarily prove you need the psych meds, but it does prove stopping them suddenly is a bad idea. Many people do need the meds. Again, its an individual thing and should be thought thru carefully.
As far as psych meds, the one thing i know, know, know, is never to stop them cold turkey but instead, wean very s-l-o-w-l-y is you decide to stop. I got off mine, but it took 3 months of slow decrease in dosage. Its been a few years without them. And that's a decision you and your sponsor and your doctor and your higher power need to make together. Nobody else can tell you whether to stay on 'em or not. But ya just gotta wean slow! otherwise - there's a lot of rebound insanity - which doesn't necessarily prove you need the psych meds, but it does prove stopping them suddenly is a bad idea. Many people do need the meds. Again, its an individual thing and should be thought thru carefully.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
I did go back to taking the psych meds at the original dose. Its working its way back into my system. I have an appointment with the dr on wed and I will be keeping it for sure. We had a few people over last night and I started in on a anxiety attack. I went to paul and told him it was gettin to me and I went to lay down for awhile. I came out when I was ready to deal with everyone. It turned out ok. I really think my meds are not at the right dose yet. Or Im not reacting to them right. I dont know. But I am taking what the bottle says.
I called the police officer yesterday and gave him my insurance card and took care of that. He wont be writing me a ticket. Of course there is a police report made but it wont go to my probation officer so she wont know about this incident this time. And Ann, I am eligible to get my license back as of Aug 17th. I had some time ff work last week when I had surgery on my kidneys and went to put the wheels in motion of getting it back. I have to get my birth certificate from the state of texas, get a letter of compliance from the county that took my license, pay a $85 reinstatement fee and take the test over again. I cant do anything till I get the cert from texas. Im waiting. But I will get the license back pretty soon.
I also called the guy about his car to get it fixed but no one was home. I left message saying that I would like to get his car in the body shop so I could take care of the damaqges as soon as possible. And I left my number. So it is what it is there. I estimate about $3000 in damage but thats a small price to pay for what could have happened. I am back to staying outta my car and not driving. I just dont know what possessed me to get in in the 1st place after all that has happened in the past. Ive done good up until this last week. I also filed for social security disability as that is what my doctor wants. I have 3 docs that dont want me workin. It causes my crohns to flair and the kidney stones to start every time. So I was told they will back date everything till July of 2005 when I went off disability the last time. I dont really understand why they would do that because thats alot of money in back pay but whatever. I just need the disability for now so I can get treatment. They have a new drug treatment that they think may put me in remission. ANd its VVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY expensive. I just need the insurance. But I could use the back pay 4 sure! That about $20,000. I can work part time on disability too. I can make up to $940 a month and keep the disability too. I just dont want to stay home and not work. I like working. I like getting outta the house. And it make me feel good that Im doing my share to make this house hold run. OH Im rambling.
So anyway, I will keep going forward with all this. And I will keep posting. Thank you for the kindness and friendship. I tryin to straighten myself out. Thanks too for the strength, support , and prayers. They go a long way.
I called the police officer yesterday and gave him my insurance card and took care of that. He wont be writing me a ticket. Of course there is a police report made but it wont go to my probation officer so she wont know about this incident this time. And Ann, I am eligible to get my license back as of Aug 17th. I had some time ff work last week when I had surgery on my kidneys and went to put the wheels in motion of getting it back. I have to get my birth certificate from the state of texas, get a letter of compliance from the county that took my license, pay a $85 reinstatement fee and take the test over again. I cant do anything till I get the cert from texas. Im waiting. But I will get the license back pretty soon.
I also called the guy about his car to get it fixed but no one was home. I left message saying that I would like to get his car in the body shop so I could take care of the damaqges as soon as possible. And I left my number. So it is what it is there. I estimate about $3000 in damage but thats a small price to pay for what could have happened. I am back to staying outta my car and not driving. I just dont know what possessed me to get in in the 1st place after all that has happened in the past. Ive done good up until this last week. I also filed for social security disability as that is what my doctor wants. I have 3 docs that dont want me workin. It causes my crohns to flair and the kidney stones to start every time. So I was told they will back date everything till July of 2005 when I went off disability the last time. I dont really understand why they would do that because thats alot of money in back pay but whatever. I just need the disability for now so I can get treatment. They have a new drug treatment that they think may put me in remission. ANd its VVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY expensive. I just need the insurance. But I could use the back pay 4 sure! That about $20,000. I can work part time on disability too. I can make up to $940 a month and keep the disability too. I just dont want to stay home and not work. I like working. I like getting outta the house. And it make me feel good that Im doing my share to make this house hold run. OH Im rambling.
So anyway, I will keep going forward with all this. And I will keep posting. Thank you for the kindness and friendship. I tryin to straighten myself out. Thanks too for the strength, support , and prayers. They go a long way.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I just dont know what possessed me to get in in the 1st place after all that has happened in the past.
So I was told they will back date everything till July of 2005 when I went off disability the last time. I dont really understand why they would do that because thats alot of money in back pay but whatever. I just need the disability for now so I can get treatment.
In the meantime, it will probably take a few more days for you psych meds to fully kick in and start working properly in your system.
I am very glad you are going to the Dr on wednesday. Be honest with your doctor, lol
ou and your family are in my prayers daily.
Love and bunches of hugs,
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
I just dont know what possessed me to get in in the 1st place after all that has happened in the past.
I really believe the meds can mess with our minds and make us do things we would never do normally. Two years ago they put me on a huge dose of a like 5 anti's, way too high too fast, I got so suicidal so fast and did something stupid that I've never done before. Still shocks me, I know it was the meds.
They can be good, they are my saving grace, but only when I am on the right ones...
Just be careful girl.... Good for you for taking care of yourself sister!!
:ghug
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Yeah, Im doin ok today. Pauls mom has been here most the day. She has a hair line fracture in her arm and cant work so she will be a permanent house guest during the day for who knows how long. We get along pretty well. For the most part. If she gets on my nerves, I go down stairs. LOL Paul left today to go help his budy out and b4 he left he asked me " Are you sure you ok to be left balone today for awhile?" I had to smile cause he thinks Im crazy but at least he cares. He wont be okay when he get home though to find that his mother has been using his checkbook the last few days to do the grocery shopping! So far she has spent $200 in 3 days! Oh Lord! I do believeI will be in bed by the time he comes home for supper!!!!
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