feeling guilty
Rediscovering myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
feeling guilty
I'm pretty sure my AH has no clue I'm leaving. I haven't had a conversation/fight with him in about 8 weeks now... I've just been polite. He's content with this loveless relationship and I feel like I'm emotionally starving. It was so hard not to warn him last night. I can't let him know though, I can't give him the chance to take DD before I do. The lawyer said if he takes her it could be 9 weeks before the temp. custody comes through to get her back. I can't take that chance. I just feel so guilty. I'm going to nuke him from orbit and he doesn't have a clue!
I know this is nothing compared what he's done to me the past 10 years, but the heart doesn't listen to the brain. I have to constantly keep myself in check. These are going to be a rough couple of days. Now post a bunch of stuff reminding me I'm doing the right thing. Come on, I need you to pump me up.
I know this is nothing compared what he's done to me the past 10 years, but the heart doesn't listen to the brain. I have to constantly keep myself in check. These are going to be a rough couple of days. Now post a bunch of stuff reminding me I'm doing the right thing. Come on, I need you to pump me up.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Stop feeling guilty for taking care of yourself and your daughter! Its what God means you to do!
Seriously, let go your unearned guilt. You are doing nothing wrong, therefore nothing to feel guilty about.
Want me to knock you upside the head?
Seriously, let go your unearned guilt. You are doing nothing wrong, therefore nothing to feel guilty about.
Want me to knock you upside the head?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 410
YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!
Perhaps this will be the wake up call he needs to rebuld his life as a sober man. Either way, you are taking yourself and your DD out of a bad situation and rebuilding your lives for the better!
Perhaps this will be the wake up call he needs to rebuld his life as a sober man. Either way, you are taking yourself and your DD out of a bad situation and rebuilding your lives for the better!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
It sounds like you are absolutely doing the right thing for yourself and your child.
If there is any guilt to own it’s HIS guilt let him own it, don't own it for him.
Keep posting, you’ve got a tremendous support group here with some pretty terrific people.
Stay strong!!!!
If there is any guilt to own it’s HIS guilt let him own it, don't own it for him.
Keep posting, you’ve got a tremendous support group here with some pretty terrific people.
Stay strong!!!!
Rediscovering myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
yes, please knock me upside the head. Sometimes I need it.
I know I'm doing right. Sometimes you just need to hear it one more time...
I think I'm just having one of those needy days... I made a co-worker tell me I was pretty in exchange for a pretzel.
I know I'm doing right. Sometimes you just need to hear it one more time...
I think I'm just having one of those needy days... I made a co-worker tell me I was pretty in exchange for a pretzel.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Originally Posted by justaboutus 
I made a co-worker tell me I was pretty in exchange for a pretzel.
LMAO - whether or not you intended it, this is hilarious! Don't worry.......we all have days when we need an extra dose of encouragement and attention. Heaven knows you're not getting it at home. Have you considered getting a massage, manicure, something like that? Sometimes a little physical contact with another human, even if it's paid-for, can get those feel-good endorphins going....always works for me anyway.
You're doing what will be least traumatic for your daughter. Play the tape all the way through -- he takes her, and what happens while you're waiting to be able to get her back? What is she told? What's her life like? What happens when you have to wrench her away?
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 166
You're doing the right thing for yourself and your daughter. Be strong, you can do it, we are here for you.
Fake it till you make it - that got me thru the worst of it till I left and the first few days too.
Keep reading and posting - K
Fake it till you make it - that got me thru the worst of it till I left and the first few days too.
Keep reading and posting - K
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 73
I have a 7 year old son and every time I question whether I'm doing the right thing by letting go of the A in my life - I just look at my son...
You ARE doing the right thing - you are taking care of YOU!! Have faith in that and be strong!:codiepolice
You ARE doing the right thing - you are taking care of YOU!! Have faith in that and be strong!:codiepolice
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Originally Posted by justaboutus
I've decided to make the compliments for pretzels a standing offer...
I think that's a great idea. It will help people get into the habit too. Muscle memory for giving compliments, all that. You're doing a public service.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The beautiful Midwest
Posts: 202
Sorry, JustAbout....I am still laughing over the pretzel!!!
You are doing a great job!! Never doubt your decisions when you are protecting your family! Things will get easier as time goes on.
BTW, I think the phrase "Nuke him from orbit" is pretty darn funny too! You've made my day!!
You are doing a great job!! Never doubt your decisions when you are protecting your family! Things will get easier as time goes on.
BTW, I think the phrase "Nuke him from orbit" is pretty darn funny too! You've made my day!!
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