Courage to Change ~ August 26 ~ Denial
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
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Courage to Change ~ August 26 ~ Denial
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 8/26
Looking back, I have often reproached myself, “How could you not have known what was happening?” Alcoholism left messy tracks all over my life, yet I didn’t see them. How could that be?
Denial is one of the chief symptoms of this family disease of alcoholism. Some of us deny that the drinker has a problem; others are all too willing to blame him or her for all our problems, denying our own participation. Why? Because we alone can’t defeat this disease, so we invent ways to survive the constant crises, broken promises, lost hopes, and embarrassments. One way to cope is to deny the unpleasant or terrifying reality.
In Al-Anon we learn more productive ways in which to cope with alcoholism, ways that don’t cost so much in loss of self. With the support of other members, and with tools and principles that offer direction, we become able to face what is really going on. We go beyond mere survival and begin to live again.
Today’s Reminder
At all times, I have done the best I was able to do. If my only way to cope with a difficult situation was to deny it, I can look back with compassion to that person who saw no better option at the time. I can forgive myself and count my blessings for having come so far since then.
“Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”
Katherine Mansfield
Looking back, I have often reproached myself, “How could you not have known what was happening?” Alcoholism left messy tracks all over my life, yet I didn’t see them. How could that be?
Denial is one of the chief symptoms of this family disease of alcoholism. Some of us deny that the drinker has a problem; others are all too willing to blame him or her for all our problems, denying our own participation. Why? Because we alone can’t defeat this disease, so we invent ways to survive the constant crises, broken promises, lost hopes, and embarrassments. One way to cope is to deny the unpleasant or terrifying reality.
In Al-Anon we learn more productive ways in which to cope with alcoholism, ways that don’t cost so much in loss of self. With the support of other members, and with tools and principles that offer direction, we become able to face what is really going on. We go beyond mere survival and begin to live again.
Today’s Reminder
At all times, I have done the best I was able to do. If my only way to cope with a difficult situation was to deny it, I can look back with compassion to that person who saw no better option at the time. I can forgive myself and count my blessings for having come so far since then.
“Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”
Katherine Mansfield
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
This reminds me of something I heard in a meeting a LONG time ago.
What's the definition of an Al Anon in H*ll? It's not hot and I'm not here!
Denial was a necessary and useful tool for me for many years. It was the only way I could survive in the turmoil that was my life. When my ex was happy and in a good mood, we all had such a great time. There were times when I couldn't enjoy it because I knew the next crash was coming and it would be dark and painful for all. The denial allowed me to enjoy the good times without awfulizing about the potential bad times.
Al Anon has taught me to move past denial and into acceptance. I don't have to LIKE something, but I don't have to pretend it's not there, either. I can look at a person or situation and see it for what it truly is, accept it and THEN decide what I'm going to do about it.
What's the definition of an Al Anon in H*ll? It's not hot and I'm not here!
Denial was a necessary and useful tool for me for many years. It was the only way I could survive in the turmoil that was my life. When my ex was happy and in a good mood, we all had such a great time. There were times when I couldn't enjoy it because I knew the next crash was coming and it would be dark and painful for all. The denial allowed me to enjoy the good times without awfulizing about the potential bad times.
Al Anon has taught me to move past denial and into acceptance. I don't have to LIKE something, but I don't have to pretend it's not there, either. I can look at a person or situation and see it for what it truly is, accept it and THEN decide what I'm going to do about it.
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