wish he'd quit

and AH walked out. He told the counselor that he had stayed sober for a year but that I hadn't changed the fact that my house is a mess. The counselor asked him if that was supposed to be justification for his drinking and he basically just got up and walked out. All the counselor said was that it was apparent that he doesnt want to address his addiction issues. I also told the counselor in front of him that I am adament that he will not keep the kids while he is drinking. It didn't sit well but Im standing my ground. AH said that he is worried about the kids and all but he has basically become a part time dad. It is supposedly to stressful for him to watch the kids here. The counselor asked why he didn't take the kids to a park or someplace AH was like well I cant live with them in a park.


I did have a moment during the appointment where I busted out in tears and told AH that I f*%#% hated him. I don't really hate him, but at the same time I'm so tired of the things that he does and says. After he left the counselor and I talked for a while longer. I am really excited to work with him annd get some of my issues figured out. It feels so freeing to be able to finally deal with the emotions and stuff that I have developed over the last decade with him and to finally figure out some of my interests that I had long forgotten about.

mamaplus2kids

Good for you that you confronted him. That was courageous.

I had similar experiences going to therapy with my AH. There were therapy sessions, during which I was too afraid to bring up his drinking for fear that he would leave the room. Some sessions were better than others; my counselor kept telling me to go to Al Anon, and I fought him on that. I thought: my husband had the problem... not me. Boy, was I wrong.

My AH never took the kids to the park or outside. He didn't know how to handle it. He had no energy... The courts are requiring accompanied visitation which is a huge relief.

wish he'd quit

Thanks for the reply. Though we didn't get much accomplished today, I'm just feeling such relief that I was able to get valadation that I'm doing the right things. The therapist suggested that AH should see an addiction counselor. Then it struck me that maybe I should see them to see what I can learn about alcoholism and how I can better deal with it. I also want to learn about what I need to do to keep my kids from going down the same path. That is one of my biggest fears.

I will say I was so frustrated that AH keeps on this whole speil about how if I would have given him another chance and gone to counseling with him that he would have changed. Not only did "he need to change but so did I." ARGHHHH! I know that we both need change but he just doesn't get that he can't change for anyone but himself. The reason that I didn't go to counseling with him when I first told him that I wanted a divorce was because I didn't want anyone trying to persuade me or manipulate me into staying with him. I knew that he would try anything because he was desperate. I'm just so over the excuses and manipulation. I'm ready to find happiness again.