AnonymusFriend

Hi everyone,

I don't know where to start since there seems to be so much going on right now for me currently. I have this friend of mine who I've known and have been friends with for about 16-17 years now. We pretty much have grown up together and I have always thought of her as my best friend(and only true friend - long story) She just turned 19 not long ago... and I'm 20.

I stumbled across this place and thought it would be good to ask for some guidance and of course learn more about how to deal with someone who has decided to take drugs over spending time with people she knows and cares about...

My friend and I have not been as close knit as we were before, for about 3 or 4 years now but we still talk every now and then. I have been suspicous of her using for about the same length of time(3-4yrs) but it really seemed to be more obvious to me this past year and a half. I thought at first it was because of me since I am a shy person, actually was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder a few years ago(had another diagnosis this past month to confirm it) and figured she was getting tired of putting up with my shyness, we sort of fought for a whole year at least and you'd think either of us would just give up and move on but I suppose we both still wanted to be friends so we had this awkward friendship going on for awhile.

Now its all fine, aside from this one thing I'm suspicious about now.

I don't get to see her or talk to her very much like I use to before, instead of every day, its more like once every week or so... and I have slowly been mending the friendship back together. Actually, she's the one who started the ball rolling by messeging me on msn back in September and we had a 3hr conversation, that type of thing hasn't happened in over a year so it was really good to hear from her again. Anyways, just thought i'd give a little background history since it sort of ties in to what is going on now.

Awhile back I had a suspicion to her using or at least trying it out when she got me into LiveJournal, I would like to read what she said and she didn't seem to mind til one entry she had made about talking about something relating to drugs, she was using slang terms and I wasn't sure if it was just how she likes to explain things(she's a hip-hop/rap type of girl) so perhaps it was a song or something she knew. I didn't really let it get to me too much. I did ask her about it and she got defensive on me and figured I had other people we both know reading her stuff so she blocked me on there and started a new account. I had not done a single thing so not entirely sure how that happened, if it happened at all. But I wasn't letting it get to me and let it slide and I never really thought about how it may have affected our friendship during that rough patch we both went through with fighting til this past year. Looking back, I remember that she is a very likable person and she had told me, after asking her what she thought about me. I told her "I guess you're just finding your nish with others and I'm just not exactly in your circle anymore due to my shyness". She then tells me that she doesn't hang out with many of the people she knew before and doesn't have many friends(which I knew then, and now, it wasn't true) and then told me that if I was a school friend, she wouldn't be friends with me anymore. That phrase right there, really bothered me and I didn't know back then but now that I think about it, that does NOT sound like the person I know/knew. She had always been looking out for me and we had done soooo much together, it seemed so unlike her to say something like that to me.

I now know that she probably had been using back then, she was experimenting back then since she has been a bit more open about it this past year. I mean, she doesn't want anyone to know but she has people on her facebook and a couple I have met that don't hide the fact that they are using as well, leave comments on her page about it and she has no problem saying anything about it in her msn name either. Over the past year, see, at first, I was getting upset because smoking in general really bothers me and people around me smoke, cigarettes and it makes me feel sick and triggers my asthma. Plus I have a parrot which are very sensative to smells, scented things and smoke so I have this "anti-smoking" thinking going on, for the safety of the bird. But I have now gone into this "I don't care" about that anymore, for whoever smokes. So... I wasn't truly aware of her using pot/weed... whatever you want to call it.

I saw pictures of her smoking and she put one or two as her display pics a couple of times back in the fall. I then read things she had put in her name every now and then, things like being so desperate of not finding a smoke so
asking anyone else for one. So being me, I was doing this out of concern, and I was a little bored and so I go on facebook and decided to just read all
of the comments on her page, from the very beginning. Boy was that a mistake I made but its the reason why I know she had been using before and is still doing it now. Most of it was about drugs and partying hard and getting high and stuff, heck, I don't know why I do this to myself but I thought I'd view her photo album on there and sure enough, she had lots of pics of her other friends(close friends as well, who she has known about the same length of time she has known me, I might add) getting high and drunk and actually enjoying it, from comments I read for the pictures. And some of these pictures were taken 2-3 years ago so that confirms my suspicions I had back then and apparently she still does it now.

I do feel like an awful person for doing that and just trying to figure out what exactly is going on in her neck of the woods over the past year. I originally was just wanting to catch up with her about stuff and hang out together when possible... but I guess I am getting more than what I bargained for with knowing this about her that I would still like to be her friend but I don't want to put up with this about her if that's the path she chooses for herself.

What really brought me here to post about it is I had been talking to her about giving my room a makeover and it finally got done back in late March/early April. I showed her pictures and asked her back then she will need to come see it when she returns home since the pictures don't do the room justice. She had to go to school, a university about 3.5hrs away so I had to wait til she was able to come back home again. I get the messege she is definetly using since she had in her name the 420 and how she will be celebrating it with people she met over there. The day she comes back home, her step-mom stops the car in front of my house(we live about a house away from each other on the same street) and they all get out and she starts talking to my neighbours across the way, catching up on stuff, telling everyone how her first year has been great and such... I decide to come out and play with my new dog outside and after a little while, she decides to come back across to meet my dog Charlie and talk a bit. I ask her if she'd like to come see what my room looks like now and she immediately says "Yea... sure.. but I have to go help my parents unpack my stuff... just hollar at me on msn, I don't have anything to do for the next week except some driving lessons(she was practicing for her G2) and then I work for the rest of the summer *sigh*"

So anyways, I try contacting her all week and get no response and then finally I ask her again on msn about it a few times and both times she agrees to let me know when she is able to come over yet fails to do that in the end. So I then make a point to ask her to come over before her birthday. She agrees again that would be good and I don't really hear much from her. So my mom suggested to make and give her an invitation to make it official that I want her to come over for a visit. I make one before leaving for my dad's friend's cottage for a few days and I had my mom give it to her since I fell ill for some reason. My friend said sure, she can come over the weekend before her birthday but never texted me back of which day she would come over. After I come back home, I decide to text her and pretend to assume she hasn't forgotten or anything and say something like "Hey, you still coming over tonight? 7pm? I'll be looking forward to it." and never got a reply back til the next day I think it was... she told me her phone wasn't working and that she lost my number(that was the 4th time she said that to me after telling me she wrote it down before) so she couldn't text me back. I give her my number again and she tells me she wrote it down but I don't believe she has at all. I don't hear anything from her for a few days and then she messeges me to say if there is ANY possible way to reschedule it since it was her friend's birthday and asked me to text her back. So I do that and even though I was disappointed to have to reschedule it, I agreed to it and so the
next sunday we'd be able to hang out and she said "Sounds good to me, I'll be looking forward to it, sorry to reschedule on such short notice" and then... I realize there is not much I can do about it anymore.

Last sunday, I spent the entire day cleaning up and making my homemade pizzas, making sure her gifts are still worthy of being given(I bought them awhile ago, lol) I had contacted her around noon to remind her about coming over to visit in the evening. I noticed just after I text her a reminder, she comes online very briefly and then goes offline and I haven't heard from her since then... she never showed up which is what I was dreading. I waited 30min after she was suppose to come over before eating my pizza... and I'm not sure what to do now about it. A couple days after, I had been outside listening to my mom and my brother talking about a show we like to watch, I had looked over in my friend's house direction to see if anyone was there, didn't see anyone. However I did notice people coming down the street on the road, both of us know and are friends with my neighbours' daughter and I saw L(neighbour friend) with her friend, both on bikes and then my friend walking beside them, assuming she was coming home from work. But I'm not sure if this was from her needing to do something important or what, but she didn't continue walking with them and ran into her house. I think she may have noticed I was outside and was feeling really guilty, maybe?!

I know she is afraid to confront me because she is probably afraid of me bringing it up and so I can't tell her how I feel about it in person since she won't come see me on her own much anymore. We can talk on msn and we can talk when we all, our neighbours and my family get together every now and then for supper but to speak to her in private, forget it, its not happening at all. Not even about that, anything really, she is afraid to confront me for some reason. I know that she still cares and I know that she still is interested in being my friend but I don't know what to do when she makes it so difficult for me to contact her when I already have a hard time as it is, with my SA(social anxiety).

I didn't text her back saying that I was disappointed about her not showing up, after so many months of trying to find a day and time for her to come visit and end up not happening at all. I'm feeling a bit left-center, she knows that I care and that I am willing to help her when she is ready. I instead managed to get up enough courage to drop a couple of letters into her mailbox last week, same day that I saw her run into her house. My letter was just basically telling her what I suspected and how I feel about it and then at least come over to pick up her gifts(doubt that's ever gonna happen). The other letter I did, I wrote a long letter a couple months back about how much the friendship means to me and just poured out all of the mushy friendship things to her so she at least knows she will always have someone that cares. Not sure if she read it all but whether she has or not, I am not expecting any response back from her about it at all. I just needed her to know and get it out of my system.

I know that I'm typing up a real storm of words here so I'll just end it with the kicker and why I've come here. The kicker to all of this is that she helped me and told my parents 4-5 years ago when I was feeling like it was the end of the world for me. I think that scared her off that she is afraid to face me again which is understandable, what she is studying for is the environment, so it doesn't make sense to be doing what she does whilst studying for the environment, that really confuses me a lot. Why I've come here is nobody else seems to care what she is doing, do they have the right approach? To
just let it go? Not even her parents are doing anything about it, my mom told me that they have taught my friend over time that running away and/or ignoring the problems are okay and that she is just scared of life in general and doesn't know what to do about it, about herself. But I feel like I'm the only friend who cares and is concerned about her, according to my neighbour friend, she had tried to quit before so I know she probably wants to stop but can't for whatever reason. I have a feeling that her talking to me, is sort of her way of crying out for help. I don't know though... I think that because
there was one day when I asked her online how she was, and she threw this at me "I'm pretty sure i'm dying" but she didn't want to talk about it even though I let her know if she ever did want to, I'm always listening.

I come here because I know I can't change anyone and so I know its best to walk away from all of this but I am having a difficult time doing that because my friend is thinking of switching to a school in B.C and I am afraid she won't return once she goes there since her real mom is there and some of her relatives are there. She is my only friend I've got right now and I feel like I need to re-pay her a favour for helping me by trying to help her out but she doesn't know how much all of this is affecting me. So.. I'm mostly here for support for myself about dealing with this, ontop of overcoming my SA. I just
seem to have a really hard time letting go of things so I may post many ramblings til I've come to a hault about something.

She is the only person I know who is doing this and I never thought she would be like that but I guess she is more sensative to things than I thought, she hides it so well from everyone. I don't know how often or how much she does of it, at least twice a week that I know of, only with other people, although the day before the visit that never happened, she put in her name "hazin a personal bl**t, hit my cell ay" so that's probably the reason why she never came over nor even contacted me to say sorry or anything.

I don't really expect much of any replies, I think I know what to do, I just don't want to do it, everyone that I have spoken to about it, first told me to ditch her but then told me she needs me, my support, and I'm confused about what to do now. If I leave her be, will she forget about me in a few years down the road? Will she get worse and move on to other drugs which is my fear that she will or I don't know... so many questions running through my head, I toss between anger, frustration, disappointment, honest, caring and being friendly... like do I shrug it off when she sees me outside or do I make it clear to her that I'm upset about what she's done/doing to me in the process? I will be going into group therapy for my SA starting next month so I am not totally out and feeling down about this but it does hurt me on the inside to know all of this about her and that I can't seem to let it slip out the back door and move on without having her situation pop up in my head every couple of hours or so... alright... I think i'm finished... sorry for such a lengthy post, I will give everyone cookies if you managed to get through all of my rant about it.

I just need to know that she will be ok without me and if she will return, should I let her go... but when/if she gets better return, not the "I'm back for more mind-boggling things for you to worry about" type of thing.

Ok... officially done... lol

Ann

Welcome to SR.

It seems to me that you are being a better friend to her than she ever thought of being to you. She has a full life with other things and may or may not be using drugs...but I have to ask...what is SHE bringing to this relationship?

You might be wise to find other friends who are safer and more available. You are young and at a time when life changes for many people, and often drift from their old friends.

Maybe look for someone who shares your interests...join a club or hobby group or take an interest course in something you like doing. You might be surprised how many people you meet who are fun to be with and who treat you well.

Hugs

IPT

I will be going into group therapy for my SA starting next month so I am not totally out and feeling down about this but it does hurt me on the inside to know all of this about her

Take your time to focus on you. As you grow, you will (as stated above) meet lots of new people. One thing you will learn from reading here is that we cannot change others. The best we can do is let them know we are there for them, then step back and let them choose to either take advantage of our caring or not. Thier choice.

Hard as it may be to do, stepping back is often the best way. She can't feel your abcense if she always has you there (via texts, letters, messages). I am sure you have heard the saying "if you love someone set them free, if it's meant to be they will come back to you" (or something to that effect). Not easy, but so true.

Good luck

AnonymusFriend

Ann - I honestly am not really sure how to answer that question. I had been thinking for awhile and all I can come up with is... nothing. I can't really point out anything.


I have done more than I probably should, for her, walked with her to school for many years, even when it was chilly out. I wouldn't leave her behind when going back home afterwards. I have always made sure to wish her a happy birthday even though she forgot to wish me one a couple years in a row.

I know that she hasn't been a great person to me, I just thought that someday, things would get better. Perhaps someday it will but I know its not exactly much of a friendship now than it was when we were younger. That is what makes me really scared to let go of her. I'm surrounded by others who are able to talk with her and she likes visiting them, most of my past had something to do with her so I can't forget about it, even if I wanted to.

I had for awhile with stop contacting her and such and just dealing with my own issues. But every month or so, she comes back and talks to me. She talks to me for a bit or decides to come over for a short time and that's all I get from her usually... then she distances herself from me for awhile til something comes up like a birthday or something bad happens on my part and she talks to me for a bit again.

I do know she is using and it may not be bad now for her but I have a gut feeling in me that she will get worse with it from the many different people she seems to like to hang out with nowadays. Regardless of what happens with that, I know its best to walk away from that from reading other threads on here and websites about it.

I am going to have a VERY difficult time doing this but I think that both of you are right, I need to let go and focus on myself more. I did find when I focused on myself a couple years ago and didn't really pay much attention to the "friendship" things seemed to get better for me. And when my friend decided to chat with me on msn this past September, it startled me since I wasn't expecting to hear from her at all, I had been so wrapped up in my own worries, my life that I felt really good. I took that though as a sign things may get better between us and I guess I am giving myself false hope about it now.

I have thanked her for helping me in the past.
I have let her know a bunch of times that I'm always going to there.
I gave her letters explaining everything to her and how I feel about the situation.

Whether she does anything about it or not, its totally up to her now. I am leaving the ball in her hands and I am trying my best to leave that ball in her hands, lol. I have decided already that I blocked her on my msn, I won't delete her, just block her for awhile. When I unblock her, I am not talking to her at all, unless she starts one with me. She doesn't contact me that often so I don't see much of a problem with that at all.

I rarely use my cellphone and the few times I texted her are the only times I have texted her so far. After the visit that never happened, it was loud and clear to me that we have changed and something is up. I am just not going to text her at all. How do I deal with this when I see her outside? Usually she smiles and waves and says Hi to me. I think I'll just do the same back and that is all I'll do when I see her.

I have realized that I do need more people, more friends who I can count on more. I only have 2 online friends that are good to me, although one I'm starting to question lately. But one of them I've been chatting to for 6 years now and the other one only about 3 years I think. I just have a really, really difficult time making new friends, especially people of my own age. I'm really nervous yet excited about going into my group therapy for my SA soon.

I do know that "if you love someone, set them free, if it was meant to be, they will come back to you.." Its harder to do than to say but I'm going to TRY to do that, about my one friend. I guess I'm scared that the second part of that will turn out to be "not meant to be" but I do have an inkling in me that she may come back, just not at the present time in our lives right now.

So I'll be weaning myself off of her til I get my own life on track and I guess just hope for the best. Now, I just have to figure out what to do about her birthday gifts she didn't recieve. Should I still give them to her? or drop them off at her house or just forget about it and use her gifts for myself? Its mostly just neat different types of soaps handmade that I got from a cool store, a mug with a puppy on it(she likes dogs), a homemade candle that I made myself, and other little filler things. I was going for a gift basket type of deal since I wasn't totally sure what to get for her. And that I had made and was hoping to give to her a scrapbook of how our friendship use to be... just a keepsake for her to remember and not forget me.

I made it with the idea of giving it to her and not expecting anything in return. You think I should still give that to her or just keep it with me? I'm not sure what to do. But I probably will be back til I feel 100% sure with myself on the whole thing, lol.

Thank you for reading my ramblings and this place is awesome

Troubledone

Anonymous

My hope for you is that you are able to rediect he energy that you have been spending on this friend towards your own development.

I have in the past been "hooked" by a friendship where I was doing all the work and ended up feeling rejected. My friend was not doing drugs, she just outgrew me. My own neediness at the time was more than she could handle.

I was lucky in that I had a great therapist at the time that helped me find other ways to find freindship that really served me. I found freinds with common interests and values, and freinds that built up my self esteem.

I'd say keep the birthday gifts for yourself or donate them to a women's shelter to someone who might really appreciate them. I know it will be hard (it was for me), but often we have to let go of the worn out freindships first before there is room in our lives for newer, healthier friendships. The dry spell in between can be a great time for self - discovery.

If you have the opportunity or resources to get counseling or group therapy, I would hope that you would give yourself this gift. I found the book "healing your inner child" helpful as well.

I found that my over-attachment to my friend really came from my own not feeling loved or lovable. Therefore, working to heal my inner wounds gave me a much better future than running after my freind trying to figure her out.

God bless you, keep coming back... prayers that you find what is real and true - you deserve it.

TTOSBT

Welcome Anonymus!
It is important as we grow to realize that sometimes we outgrow relationships. It is sad but often true. I have some friends from high school, college, etc and we occasionally send eachother emails and calls, etc but we have very different lives. That is what happens as we go along. That is great about your group! You have not shared too much about yourself. Do you work? Go to school? Have other interests. I know that meeting new people is hard but it is easier if you start by having something in common. Keep coming back :ghug3

AnonymusFriend

I am finding it really difficult to do this and I knew that there wasn't much there. I had ended the friendship a few times before but something always drew me back in, and I think the first time I had ended it when I was around 14 years old, that should have been the only time...

I talked to my mom yesterday about all of it and she thinks the same thing and added that my friend is very superficial and she just finds me intimidating or something because of my SA and doesn't want to even bother understanding it. My mom then told me that a couple days ago when she saw my friend coming home from work, walking down our street to her house, my mom waves to her and she never waved back and just went into her house. Normally she will talk to my mom and everyone else but this time she isn't even waving to my mom at all.

I had told my mom "It is because you're the one that had given her the invitation so now she avoids coming down our side of the street to get to her house. She's feeling extremely guilty probably.... Anything that has to do with the visit or me, she doesn't want to deal with so she's avoiding us now"

But she won't have to feel guilty anymore... she brought this upon herself and she is going to have to live with it while I move forward in my own life. I don't feel bad about that at all, just difficult to let go of someone I've known for sooo long, for most of my life, it hurts but I can't let her do this to me all the time. If she truly still wants to be my friend, she's gotta earn her place, I am not going to tolerate this anymore.

I've decided my neighbour friend, who is younger than me, she's 17, is a MUCH better person, better friend to me than my other "friend". I see her a lot and just sent her an email asking to go on a long walk to sort myself out about the whole thing and just talk about whatever.

As for me, I do not work nor go to school because of my SA, i've got it really bad which is why I'm actually looking forward to group therapy. I am mostly housebound and it really bites but I told myself this past year. I need to do something about this, I can't live like this any longer, now is the perfect time to get over my fears even though its a long process.

I honestly don't know what my hobbies are since I've got lots of spare time to spend, I mostly just post on forums, play on virtual pet sites, fiddle with my Paint Shop Pro programs. I like camping(depressed about not being able to do that at all this summer), I'm a complete animal lover, I've owned many pets in the past but currently only have a dog, a senegal parrot and some fish. I'm a neat freak, I don't do it obsessively but I do try my best to keep the house tidy and clean. You will find that i'm a very sarcastic person... sometimes I have to refrain from it, lol

That's all I can think of, I am looking into going back to this parrot club I go to on and off, I need to go to it more frequently, they have a meeting once a month. I also am part of a pet rat club but I don't really have much interest in anything else. Mostly due to the social interaction however I'm hoping that will change in the next few months

TTOSBT

AF, it sounds like you are in a very good frame of mind and taking some steps. Yay for you!
I am not sure if it would be too much for you (sorry I know nothing about SA) but could you volunteer at a local animal shelter? Or offer to walk the dogs at a pet store? In my area there is a pet store that asks for volunteers so that they dogs for sale get walked a couple times a day.

AnonymusFriend

I have a little update that I'm definetly moving forward. I had been informed by my mom yesterday that we had all been invited over to her place for supper. I guess it was just a little get together with everyone since she is leaving to go back to her university tomorrow(friday). My mom asked me to think about it and suggested that I should come over since it would show that it really doesn't matter to me anymore and you CAN get past it.

I decided to go over and see everyone and I did bring over the scrapbook I had made for her because that was one thing I really did want her to see. Oh boy I know she was feeling quite uncomfortable with me being over there.

Her step-mom doesn't really know what has been going on, she's completely clueless about it and it helped me out a bit yesterday. I came over, went inside for a bit and had said Hello to everyone and her step-mom. We were planning to eat outside in their backyard but I thought i'd come in for a bit first just to say hi to everybody. And I hold up the scrapbook and say to her step-mom that "I had something to give to Madi(that is my friend's name)" and then she's like "Oh... is Madi not outside there? I don't think she went anywhere... she might be in her room. You can go and knock on her door" and I was thinking to myself "I don't think that's great idea for me to do.." but she ended up going to knock on the door and said I was there and had something for her".

She comes out of her room very slowly and walks down to see me and I hand her the scrapbook and she just looks at it sort of like... ok.. whatever.. I got the impression it was mostly out of politeness but after her flipping through the pages and reading the blurbs I said in it. She seemed to like it and laughed a bit and then we went outside to join everyone.

But she was feeling really uncomfortable since she kept going back inside the house and had her cellphone with her as a distraction I guess... She was sort of forced to sit beside me at their picnic table when it was time to eat. Oh, this is where her step-mom comes in, she noticed Madi inside the house and said "Madi, are you going to come and eat?" and she replies with yea.. and comes outside and tries looking for another spot to sit down after getting her food slowly. Her step-mom then says "What are you looking for? you need any bread? oh you got bread, you need to find a place to sit *notices an empty spot next to me* why don't you sit here, here is a spot" and Madi just grumbles and says "That's ok.. I can sit back here on the steps.." and that didn't last long. I think it made her feel more awkward to do that so she plopped herself next to me at the table.

And that I know that she has been using pot because I cannot believe this but after a few times of her getting up and going in the house a few times. Her brother was over there as well, everyone was over there. When Madi came back out, I can't believe her brother and her were actually talking about that while everyone else was eating and nobody seemed to pick up on that except my mom and I. She was doing apparently preparing it at the same time as we were having supper *rolls eyes* soooo much fun sitting next to her NOT! lol

So... she didn't change much and she seemed to talk to her other friends in a bad way as well and wondered why everyone wanted to talk to her all of a sudden. Its obvious to me, she is leaving tomorrow so they want to hang out with her before she leaves. Then she was talking to my neighbour friend about school, probably her attempt to make me feel awkward which didn't work. I stayed much longer than she probably wanted me to stay, she kept giving me these "When is she going to leave soon so that I can breathe" type of thing and I just said to myself "Don't worry, you don't have to feel guilty anymore...once i'm gone, i'm out of your life.. so just chill, lady" lol

She really seems to be going down hill about many things in her life and its too bad she's chosen the path that she's going down. When I finally left, she didn't really say bye to me at all. She said bye to my neighbour friend and asked her to text her the next day to hang out.. and then went into her house right away. So we are no longer friends.. and I think there is a possibility she will come back to more stable grounds later since she had said she remembered every single thing that I had put in the scrapbook.

I know when we were friends, it was true, she meant it and I think she may leave the scrapbook behind but I'm okay with that since as long as I got her to look at it and her brother and her dad looked at it as well...its all I really needed for closer. She has something to remember me by... but I am not going to be part of her circle of tactics and addiction behaviour anymore.

She can talk to me when she's matured and grown up and I am feeling quite alright about all of it. I am still getting over it but I feel good knowing I was able to stand my own ground and it felt good to have her feel uncomfortable, something she has made me feel for awhile. Anyways, i'm finished, done... she is no longer my friend, just somebody I know.

As for my SA... I had thought about walking dogs from a humane society or doing something like that before but you need to be really confident in yourself to walk dogs from those places and some make you go through this training sessions first. I don't feel comfortable enough to do that yet.

Social Anxiety affects everything you do in your life that has anything to do with communication, the phone is a big problem for me and its just not a fun thing to have. I am still keeping an eye out for anything that I might be able to handle but its tough, hopefully my doctors and the therapy will me with that though.

hope213

welcome to S.R. i am glad you are here. there is nothing you can do to help your friend. she does not want your help. do not let her bring you down. i was raised "if you can't run with the best ,don't run with any." she is not the best & you can find a friend worth your while. i too have always been on the shy,quite side. i had rather be by mysef than be with others & be phoney.i am who i am. you can find a good friend worth having without her. let her go, join a club, take a class, join the gym,go to church. there is ways to meet people. you will find one good friend. stick around, i will be your friend & so will many, many more here. hugs & prayers,