TooMuch4TooLong

Hi all, I am not really new to the forum as I have been reading on and off for over a year, even referred someone when she needed, I think it helped her. I know reading some of the stickies and posts helped me.

Y'all know the story probably by heart, nothing new. The AH has been out of prison for two years, in for a year and a half for DUI. Can I just say that did nothing for him? He was actually working the program and doing great before he went. So now here we are and he went from being a cute if somewhat obnoxious drunk to someone I can't have living with me or my 16 yr old.

He almost killed me a couple months back, not sure if he realizes how close he came. I have gone to work with black eyes and bruises. He has financially wiped us out and destroyed my credit and his. I am going to have a very hard time moving out because of this but I know me well enough to know that I must act quickly and not allow him to get to me or I will cave. I don't want to lose anymore of my daughter's respect than I already have and perhaps most of all I just want to live with some peace and happiness.

I told him I was moving out, my girl and I went apartment hunting Saturday and I have a long road ahead of me financially. He is trying to manipulate me with this but the fact is if he would have gotten off his a** and not drank us into the hole he would not have this to manipulate me with. I am sure he would find something else, that is the nature of the beast, or disease. Right now I have difficulty differentiating between the two as being the correct terminology.

I read a post today about dealing with a functioning alcoholic, that describes him to a tee. Like I said, nothing new in my story that y'all haven't heard before but I just needed to tell it. Well that's all. Thanks for listening.

suki44883

OMG! He beats on you and you then say that he might be able to talk you out of leaving?? I'm sorry, but that just makes absolutely no sense to me. Get to a women's shelter until you are able to get your own place, but whatever you do, get out NOW! Next time he might kill you!

TooMuch4TooLong

Of course it makes no sense, did I say this was rational? I am hoping to be out of here in no less than two weeks. He threatened to hit me on Thursday so I called the police. They watched the house all night. I am getting out and a shelter is not out of the question at all. I will do what I have to do and pride be damned.

This all came about in less than a month now and I am still confused and trying to digest it all. Unfortunately there is no switch I can flick that says "OK that's it, I don't love you anymore." What I am saying is that even though I know we have to leave it still hurts. Please don't judge the way I am handling it. Thanks

suki44883

I'm sorry; I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I'm just concerned for any woman who lives with a man who uses her as a human punching bag. It just infuriates me to no end. Prayers going out to you that you are able to get out of there ASAP! ((((HUGS))))

deezaldog

Not judging you, only concerned for your life. I must agree with suki. Tomorrow may be to late. If you are not safe how about your daughter? You need to be safe now. Any excuse not to get out now is not a good excuse. Sorry. Hope only the best for you and your daughter.

TooMuch4TooLong

My daughter is one hundred percent safe, that I am very sure of. If I felt that we were in any present danger I would call the police again and get in the car and get to the shelter tonight and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I appreciate the concern and the support, I really do.

I'm sick, scared, confused, hurt, etc. Wondering if I can make it (self esteem) knowing I can and I will. I can do anything I need to once I have made up my mind to it. He is not drinking at the moment although I know earlier he had a forty. That's nothing for him. We are staying as far away as possible but yeah, it's time to go. I hate the thought of a shelter, you know what I mean? It seems so rock bottom, like I am the one who hit rock bottom, not him. Pride maybe? I don't know. I want to just get my stuff and get us moved.

I think I may have misspoke when I said I would cave, I am filing for divorce tomorrow at lunch, he is aware of this and has been "quaking" if I used that right pretty hard about how if I stay another month we can get the bank stuff fixed etc. But it's quaking. Love that term, btw. Wanting to talk about how we should split things up and all.

I have a responsibility for some of the bad in this relationship too but I have a true responsibility to my daughter and my self. Now I just need to pull up my big girl panties and not let him get to me with the quaking.

Chrysalis123

Thank you for coming here and posting your story. You are demonstrating bravery and strength as you come to grips with this. You will get through this and you will thrive in time. Thanks again for sharing the start of your recovery and your new life. Please keep coming back and posting because we are all here for you.

Barbara52

Although you are of course expressing (and feeling) your doubts and fears, you sound strong to me. {hugs} You will get through this. You will build a better life for you and your daughter.

NYC_Chick

Hi and Welcome!

I'm glad you are here and posting. You sound like you are being very strong, which you will need when you leave. It can be done. My father is an alcoholic who used to beat my mother. She had no job skills, but managed to get us (me and my 2 sisters) out and give us a better life. You can too. The money will come when you need it.

Big Hugs to you!

TooMuch4TooLong

Thanks everyone. I did some thinking about what Deezal and Suki said last night and it occured to me this morning that this is Labor day weekend coming up. Can you say "Oh H**L no!" I know I can. I sat down and worked out a plan to get out of here one way or another. I am hoping to get an apartment I looked at with my daughter on Sat.

If so much as a voice is raised or an insult yelled I am out. He is drinking and wavers back and forth between sulking and quaking. I have emergency stuff in the car so we can get out fast. So that is all I am going to say right now because I don't want to give anything away inadvertantly.

I kind of feel like I am in this really bad sick dream with nothing but clouds and rain. Of course that could be because I live in one of the places Fay hit Thanks again you guys gave me the shot in the confidence I needed.