Drug Use and Verbal Abuse
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by Warmheart4U 
Are people that are actively using drugs usually verbally abusive?
I don't think there is a text book answer for this really. I wasn't verbally
abusive, But my roommate who was using at the same time was horribly abusive to me and my other roommates when he used, he was quite scary.
Which is what ended up being the reason why I kicked him out.
Using or not there is never a reason to let anyone abuse you.
Are you okay?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Yes Done-With-It, thank you I am okay. He just moved out today, but he was very verbally abusive to me at the end before he left. I had to finally throw him out.
He was using a lot of crack, not bathing, not working and did nothing but verbally abuse me. I also think he was cheating on me from the text messages he was sending and receiving to a woman.
My self esteem and self confidence was getting so low. I'm just glad he is gone.
He was using a lot of crack, not bathing, not working and did nothing but verbally abuse me. I also think he was cheating on me from the text messages he was sending and receiving to a woman.
My self esteem and self confidence was getting so low. I'm just glad he is gone.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by Warmheart4U
Yes Done-With-It, thank you I am okay. He just moved out today, but he was very verbally abusive to me at the end before he left. I had to finally throw him out.
He was using a lot of crack, not bathing, not working and did nothing but verbally abuse me. I also think he was cheating on me from the text messages he was sending and receiving to a woman.
My self esteem and self confidence was getting so low. I'm just glad he is gone.
He was using a lot of crack, not bathing, not working and did nothing but verbally abuse me. I also think he was cheating on me from the text messages he was sending and receiving to a woman.
My self esteem and self confidence was getting so low. I'm just glad he is gone.
You have to do what is best and right for you, so be proud of yourself for doing it. I know for me it was hard and he was just my best friend..
I'm not sure how it happens, how we allow ourselves to get to certain points of accepting certain behaviors, but once it is out of our lives, the good old self esteem seems to find its way back to us... Taking care of yourself like that is one of the best things you can ever do....
Not to tell you what to do, but just a suggestion, keep your doors and windows locked and/or get them changed and keep a phone by you
for awhile. Drugs like that can make people angry...
Best to keep yourself safe in advance... not like freak out and worry, or
stress, just keep yourself safe.
And Keep posting, there are some great people on here, you'll get tons of support and love here.
:ghug2
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Good for you for ridding yourself of that toxicity. It is just that. It is the addiction..... and that lies with him. You have done the best for your situation in regards to saving your soul. HIGH FIVE!
When I made that decision..... I said over and over to myself that I was giving power to integrity and self-worth..... that I AM worth it!!
We can not fight the disease....again it lies with him. If he wants to carry it... then he can do ..... but not on my time, on my watch and most of all in my presence!!
When I made that decision..... I said over and over to myself that I was giving power to integrity and self-worth..... that I AM worth it!!
We can not fight the disease....again it lies with him. If he wants to carry it... then he can do ..... but not on my time, on my watch and most of all in my presence!!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Good for you, warmheart. You deserve so much more than an abusive, cheating addict........regardless of what "most addicts" do, YOU don't have to take that, and I'm glad you're not any more.
Breathe deeply, try to smile and stay strong. Think about what you love, what great things you want to do with your next few decades here on this planet. You are free to go after your dreams without this anchor of a man dragging behind you....
XOX
GL
Breathe deeply, try to smile and stay strong. Think about what you love, what great things you want to do with your next few decades here on this planet. You are free to go after your dreams without this anchor of a man dragging behind you....
XOX
GL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Well he showed up unexpectedly several times on Fri., Sat. and today knocking on the front door and back door, but the doors were locked and I was hiding inside. I hope that is all he is going to do.
He has been wearing the same clothes for the past two weeks without them being washed. He has just totally let himself go. I hope he is gone for good. I do know he is using crack 3 or 4 times a week.
He has been wearing the same clothes for the past two weeks without them being washed. He has just totally let himself go. I hope he is gone for good. I do know he is using crack 3 or 4 times a week.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Sweetie if he does that again, please call the cops.....
There is no excuse or reason for him to get away
with crap like that.....
You should not have to be a victim to his antics in your own
home...
Seriously please call the cops, and/or get a German Shepard.
There is no excuse or reason for him to get away
with crap like that.....
You should not have to be a victim to his antics in your own
home...
Seriously please call the cops, and/or get a German Shepard.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 72
If he is not bathing and wearing the same clothes, chances are he is using more than 3 or 4 times a week. Probably more like 3 or 4 times per day.
And yes, I can say, that my AH used to be very verbally abusive when using. That is how I always knew he was using. He hasn't been verbally abusive hardly at all within the last 6 months or maybe longer, but I think it was because he realized I wasn't putting up with it, so it got to the point where he would just not have any contact with me when he was using...ex:turn off his phone, not answer my calls or texts, not come home until he had sobered up.
And yes, I can say, that my AH used to be very verbally abusive when using. That is how I always knew he was using. He hasn't been verbally abusive hardly at all within the last 6 months or maybe longer, but I think it was because he realized I wasn't putting up with it, so it got to the point where he would just not have any contact with me when he was using...ex:turn off his phone, not answer my calls or texts, not come home until he had sobered up.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
When my son and his exagf lived with me they both were very abusive to me, verablly. As far as he coming to the house please call the police the next time. You might forget to lock a door one time and he could come in, and than what. You should not have to hide out in your own home.
Be safe and take care of yourself.
Hugs coming your way
Be safe and take care of yourself.
Hugs coming your way
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Thank you all for the help and info about crack. Yes, I do leave my doors unlocked sometime because I'm in and out.
He came by yesterday to get the rest of his things and I told him I would just put them in the garage so he could get them. He said no, just let me come in and get them myself and I will be gone. He came in the door and immediately started in on me verbally. I told him he would just have to go ahead and leave. By the time I had gotten him out the door, I felt so belittled and just wanted to cry.
I have to tell you, it feels great not having him here in my home anymore. However, I think I will have to be onguard for a while longer though.
He came by yesterday to get the rest of his things and I told him I would just put them in the garage so he could get them. He said no, just let me come in and get them myself and I will be gone. He came in the door and immediately started in on me verbally. I told him he would just have to go ahead and leave. By the time I had gotten him out the door, I felt so belittled and just wanted to cry.
I have to tell you, it feels great not having him here in my home anymore. However, I think I will have to be onguard for a while longer though.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
My first reaction to this question was to think, "Do birds fly?", but I guess its a little more complicated than that. Addicts are very irritable when they can't get their drug and have zero coping skills, zero impulse control, and zero real motivation to not be verbally abusive. Unless they think they are more likely to get more drugs or more $ to get more drugs by being less verbally abusive. On the other hand, when i was nice and stoned on my drugs of choice I could be just lovely (a little bit slurred, but lovely).
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