More Drama!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Anywhere, US
Posts: 68
More Drama!!!!
Hello,
Been along time since i posted. I am now going on 7 months clean and am still working the steps. Had a horrible argument with a family member today, almost resulting in fisticuffs. I might have been in the wrong,(I got mad and said some things I should not have said), but this person had alot of resentments way before I got sober. No matter what, no matter how hard I am trying to get things right, it's never enough and I will be just a f... up in their eyes. As more time elapses I seem to be getting away from the spirituality I had in the beginning of recovery (weird!) At this time, life still is pretty screwed up, living with parent's, cannot find a job, financially doing crappy, no significant other, and seem to snap easily at certain situations. I know it could be worse and I do not want to go back out... but jeez, talk about a slow process. I don't what I am saying. just that things are not going right, and I thought I would have had more going for me at this time....I think I am having a pity party for myself... thanks for reading.
Been along time since i posted. I am now going on 7 months clean and am still working the steps. Had a horrible argument with a family member today, almost resulting in fisticuffs. I might have been in the wrong,(I got mad and said some things I should not have said), but this person had alot of resentments way before I got sober. No matter what, no matter how hard I am trying to get things right, it's never enough and I will be just a f... up in their eyes. As more time elapses I seem to be getting away from the spirituality I had in the beginning of recovery (weird!) At this time, life still is pretty screwed up, living with parent's, cannot find a job, financially doing crappy, no significant other, and seem to snap easily at certain situations. I know it could be worse and I do not want to go back out... but jeez, talk about a slow process. I don't what I am saying. just that things are not going right, and I thought I would have had more going for me at this time....I think I am having a pity party for myself... thanks for reading.
Philippines/Canada
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 454
Sorry your struggling bud been there, are you familiar with a gratitude list and how it works, you probably are if you applying the steps. It helps me to think positive and push out the negative. I will come to your pity party but don't be mad at me if you end up leaving your own party ha ha
do a google search i just came up with this one.
Putting the Attitude into Gratitude - writing a gratitude list - Brief Article | Vegetarian Times | Find Articles at BNET
do a google search i just came up with this one.
Putting the Attitude into Gratitude - writing a gratitude list - Brief Article | Vegetarian Times | Find Articles at BNET
Last edited by StayinAlive; 08-24-2008 at 12:15 AM. Reason: sucky spelling
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Hey, PG! I wish I could say I have 7 months under my belt. Not even close... 
. I'm trying to change my entire life around and I have to remind myself everyday that it's going to take a long time. Yeah, it sucks, but doing it the other way certainly wasn't working for me. Good job on your sober time and not giving in despite the frustrations. :bounce
. I'm trying to change my entire life around and I have to remind myself everyday that it's going to take a long time. Yeah, it sucks, but doing it the other way certainly wasn't working for me. Good job on your sober time and not giving in despite the frustrations. :bounce
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
I'm so glad that you posted!!!! I'm not having the best couple of days myself but I'm so glad that I'm not drinking over it which in the past is what I would have done.
I hope you can let it go, what other people think is "none of my business" when it comes to things like that. I do the best I can to do the right thing as I know my behavior in the past hasn't been the greatest and the people that have known me for years know I can do better so I just do.
Keep up YOUR great work and don't let it get you down. I think you're doing a great job and I THANK YOU for sharing!!!!
I hope you can let it go, what other people think is "none of my business" when it comes to things like that. I do the best I can to do the right thing as I know my behavior in the past hasn't been the greatest and the people that have known me for years know I can do better so I just do.
Keep up YOUR great work and don't let it get you down. I think you're doing a great job and I THANK YOU for sharing!!!!
Turning it all around
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 330
PG,
If you stay the course, the world will come around. Congratulations on your 7 months. I can't wait 'til I can say that. Kudos to you in keeping your sanity throughout this bombardment. Patience, prayers from SR are on the way!
If you stay the course, the world will come around. Congratulations on your 7 months. I can't wait 'til I can say that. Kudos to you in keeping your sanity throughout this bombardment. Patience, prayers from SR are on the way!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Fort Wayne IN
Posts: 284
7mo sobriety is awsome! You are not alone. Even if you feel you are not making progress you are. Stop being so hard on yourself. As for the others let them think what they want. You are working your program. In the promises we are told it comes sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, it will always materialize if we work for it! Keep up the great work and stay in your sobriety. The roller coaster will slow down eventually!
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Congratulations on the 7 months. That is great. But yeah, it is only the beginning, really.
Family is a tough one. You have to protect yourself from toxic people. Don't let them harm your program and sobriety. And on the other hand, trust has to be built up again. And this takes time...and only time.
This is what it will take to rebuild trust to those who have been harmed by your addiction.
I always say the serenity prayer at times like these. You can't control others. And you have to accept how they feel, and let it go. Separate yourself from the situation for your own well being.
Family is a tough one. You have to protect yourself from toxic people. Don't let them harm your program and sobriety. And on the other hand, trust has to be built up again. And this takes time...and only time.
This is what it will take to rebuild trust to those who have been harmed by your addiction.
I always say the serenity prayer at times like these. You can't control others. And you have to accept how they feel, and let it go. Separate yourself from the situation for your own well being.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
You know, one of the hardest things for me to finally understand in my early recovery is it didn't take just overnight for me to hit my bottom of the hole I dug (took me 24 years) and it wasn't going to get better overnight either, lol
As far as getting a job, well that was a problem too, so I went and applied at all the Temporary Services in town, and then called them every morning and every afternoon until finally a couple of them got tired of me calling and gave me some work. Sure it was like 'day labor' but I had some income finally coming in. I also shared at meetings the footwork I was doing about employment, about dealing with my creditors, etc and low and behold before long I was getting referrals for jobs and other help from others in the program.
As time went on I started to make arrangements with my creditors and paying a bit each month at first and then more as things improved.
As to my family, h*ll it took almost 5 years for some of my family members to finally accept that I was staying sober and I was living a sober life. My family was not my problem. I was my problem and the only one I had to be accountable to was my HP and myself.
So, 7 months is great!!!! Sounds like you realize your reaction was not the right thing for you and you need to do some more work on you, that is great. Try some Temporary agencies, do some day labor, sometimes, no many times, you do a good job and one of those temporary employers can become a permanent employer.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
As far as getting a job, well that was a problem too, so I went and applied at all the Temporary Services in town, and then called them every morning and every afternoon until finally a couple of them got tired of me calling and gave me some work. Sure it was like 'day labor' but I had some income finally coming in. I also shared at meetings the footwork I was doing about employment, about dealing with my creditors, etc and low and behold before long I was getting referrals for jobs and other help from others in the program.
As time went on I started to make arrangements with my creditors and paying a bit each month at first and then more as things improved.
As to my family, h*ll it took almost 5 years for some of my family members to finally accept that I was staying sober and I was living a sober life. My family was not my problem. I was my problem and the only one I had to be accountable to was my HP and myself.
So, 7 months is great!!!! Sounds like you realize your reaction was not the right thing for you and you need to do some more work on you, that is great. Try some Temporary agencies, do some day labor, sometimes, no many times, you do a good job and one of those temporary employers can become a permanent employer.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Anywhere, US
Posts: 68
Thanks for the responses!!!!
StayinAlive, I am familiar with the gratitude list, I made one a few weeks back. It's probably time to start another. Thanks.
Bamboozle, yeah, I do not want to go back there, especially over this. Plus, I do not want to throw away the hard earned self-respect I have now. Thanks.
tommyk, funny. I do not have any problems with my friends now, but family jeez!!!! Thanks.
vegibean, Thank you. Hang in there, as you know, the feelings go up and down. I am trying to stay the course. At this point, I feel like telling them all to f... off, and they can go about their own lives.. vbut, I honestly do not know what to do.
deezaldog, Thanks for the kind words. I does not feel like progress right now. I just don't see it..
LogCabin, Thanks. It's like there is no other family member that can relate to the whole addiction thing.
I don't guys, I honestly feel like just bailing florida, leaving the family and just disappearing. Just got into it with mom again over my daughter, she saying "all i care about is myself" there is no getting out of this and I feel like they are pushing me into a corner. and I am "sober" through all of this.... wow.
StayinAlive, I am familiar with the gratitude list, I made one a few weeks back. It's probably time to start another. Thanks.
Bamboozle, yeah, I do not want to go back there, especially over this. Plus, I do not want to throw away the hard earned self-respect I have now. Thanks.
tommyk, funny. I do not have any problems with my friends now, but family jeez!!!! Thanks.
vegibean, Thank you. Hang in there, as you know, the feelings go up and down. I am trying to stay the course. At this point, I feel like telling them all to f... off, and they can go about their own lives.. vbut, I honestly do not know what to do.
deezaldog, Thanks for the kind words. I does not feel like progress right now. I just don't see it..
LogCabin, Thanks. It's like there is no other family member that can relate to the whole addiction thing.
I don't guys, I honestly feel like just bailing florida, leaving the family and just disappearing. Just got into it with mom again over my daughter, she saying "all i care about is myself" there is no getting out of this and I feel like they are pushing me into a corner. and I am "sober" through all of this.... wow.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Hey - At least you are sober! No one promised any of us that if we got sober everything would immediately get better. (darn it!) I only have a little over 4 months of sobriety and I know I have pity parties all the time.
Whenever I go where you are with the pity, my sponsor makes me do a gratitude list on paper and call her back and read it to her.
Get a pen and paper and force yourself to write down 10 things you are grateful for. Can be food, clothes, sobriety or whatever. It is so wierd but after I do it I ALWAYS feel SO much better!
Prayers to you!
Whenever I go where you are with the pity, my sponsor makes me do a gratitude list on paper and call her back and read it to her.
Get a pen and paper and force yourself to write down 10 things you are grateful for. Can be food, clothes, sobriety or whatever. It is so wierd but after I do it I ALWAYS feel SO much better!
Prayers to you!
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