DII

When will I learn! My AW came back into our house in January, after being out for relapsing again. She had 10 months sobriety and the same pattern to relapse happened. It's amazing to me how they can feel, look and interact as sober and healthy wives, mothers, friends and daughters and make that decision to go backwards. My AW is an amazing person when she's healthy and can just as quickly crash into relapse. When she goes...she goes hard. This time it was the ER for detox treatment so bad they needed to put an IV in her jugular vein because they couldn't get a vein in her arms or hands. Each relapse is harder for her to recover from. I know that I can't keep going on like this.

Barbara52

I'm sorry you are still in the madness. Perhaps its time to make some changes? You deserve so much better from life while she does whatever she will do.

coyote21

On one level I can admire people in my Alanon group that stay married to A's, I couldn't do it. I had to save myself and my little girl.....it was hard but now just 18 mths later, man are we ever better off.

Today we had a lady, newcomer, 1st meeting. She shared that she was 61 and had been in her marriage 40 yrs.....basicly her whole adult life. They are on the verge of loosing EVERYTHING they had both worked for. My heart goes out to her...she's done. Seems like a monumental waste to me.

I thank God I'm on the other side of the hurt and madness. There's SERENITY over here. I highly recommend it.

They say "Let go or be dragged". The active A's consequences become our consequences eventually. I lost everything as well.

The door is NOT locked...you just have to decide if you want to walk thru it. It's simple but not easy. Good luck to you.

What has worked for me is Alanon and SR.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

DII

I told her today......I will need to make the change happen. This site is great support. She said she is over it.....but it's too late for me. I know her next relapse will be blamed on me calling it quits. I KNOW that is not true but it will be tough. Opened up a checking account today...it's the first step.

mizztake33

DII - i fell your pain. My AH is great when going to AA, etc. Hard to live with when not.
Sometimes I just wonder - why did I make these choices?

Hugs to you -- sounds like you need them. Don't be hard on yourself. It is hard to let go of the one that you love - even when they use.

Glad youare here.