Courage to Change ~ August 20 ~ Accepting yourself
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
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Courage to Change ~ August 20 ~ Accepting yourself
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 8/21
Some Al-Anon suggestions, such as getting a sponsor, were easy for me because I’m good at following specific instructions. But I didn’t know what to do with the slogan, “Live and let live.” Al-Anon helped me to “let live” by teaching me about detachment and helping me to see that many of my problems stemmed from minding everyone’s business but my own. But how do you turn your eyes on yourself and “live” for the first time in your life?
When I put this question to my sponsor, she asked me one in turn—what had I done earlier that day? Although I’d had a very busy day, I could barely remember what I had been doing. My sponsor suggested that I begin learning how to live by becoming more aware of my life as I was already living it. Then I would be better able to make choices about how I would like to live.
Searching for the real me, living according to my needs, and loving myself as a new-found friend have been the most rewarding benefits of the Al-Anon program. Strangely, they’re the last ones I would have imagined receiving when I began.
Today’s Reminder
Today I can choose to take responsibility for my own life. If I stay out of others’ affairs and become more aware of my own, I have a good chance of finding some serenity.
“Each man’s life represents a road toward himself.”
Hermann Hesse
Some Al-Anon suggestions, such as getting a sponsor, were easy for me because I’m good at following specific instructions. But I didn’t know what to do with the slogan, “Live and let live.” Al-Anon helped me to “let live” by teaching me about detachment and helping me to see that many of my problems stemmed from minding everyone’s business but my own. But how do you turn your eyes on yourself and “live” for the first time in your life?
When I put this question to my sponsor, she asked me one in turn—what had I done earlier that day? Although I’d had a very busy day, I could barely remember what I had been doing. My sponsor suggested that I begin learning how to live by becoming more aware of my life as I was already living it. Then I would be better able to make choices about how I would like to live.
Searching for the real me, living according to my needs, and loving myself as a new-found friend have been the most rewarding benefits of the Al-Anon program. Strangely, they’re the last ones I would have imagined receiving when I began.
Today’s Reminder
Today I can choose to take responsibility for my own life. If I stay out of others’ affairs and become more aware of my own, I have a good chance of finding some serenity.
“Each man’s life represents a road toward himself.”
Hermann Hesse
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
OOPS I hit "enter" too soon and ended up with the wrong title in my thread. Oh well!
Gosh I remember the days when I had no identity at all. I could tell you HIS favorite foods and HIS favorite vacation spots and HIS favorite movies... not only could I not tell you mine, I didn't have any of my own! I had no idea what I liked. It must be part of the people pleaser package... to always put others wants and needs above my own. I was also nearly crippled with fear if I had to make a decision about something - what if I chose the wrong thing and you were disappointed or got angry or WORST of all ? What if you didn't like me anymore??
Learning about ME, finding my own identity, took some time and some patience and a fair dose of humor. I tried things on and took them off again to see if they "fit". I went to the video store and stood for hours trying to figure out what I would like to watch. NOT anyone else... just me. I also learned that I could pop a movie in and start it, and if I didn't like it I could stop the movie and take it out. Gads what a new concept.
Now when someone asks what I want to do or where I want to eat? I might still say that I don't really care but I also might say I really love Mexican food and let's go to Monterreys!
Gosh I remember the days when I had no identity at all. I could tell you HIS favorite foods and HIS favorite vacation spots and HIS favorite movies... not only could I not tell you mine, I didn't have any of my own! I had no idea what I liked. It must be part of the people pleaser package... to always put others wants and needs above my own. I was also nearly crippled with fear if I had to make a decision about something - what if I chose the wrong thing and you were disappointed or got angry or WORST of all ? What if you didn't like me anymore??
Searching for the real me, living according to my needs, and loving myself as a new-found friend have been the most rewarding benefits of the Al-Anon program. Strangely, they’re the last ones I would have imagined receiving when I began.
Now when someone asks what I want to do or where I want to eat? I might still say that I don't really care but I also might say I really love Mexican food and let's go to Monterreys!
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