Other signs of abuse ref. to my coke hubby...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 20
Other signs of abuse ref. to my coke hubby...
Ok here's another one... my hubby says he quit doing coke, but the other night I noticed his mouth extremely numb & he was slurring too. We went out & so far for a while he hadn't drank (that I saw), but on the way home I was making normal conversation & noticed he wouldn't respond to anything I said. So my hearted started to beat faster, realizing there was something wrong. Long story short his eyes (not pupils) were wide open, like real stretched out as if they could fall out, and his pupils can't say it was @ night. Finally when he did talk, he exploded & yelled to me "is this the best you can do?" He was furious & got extremely verbally abusive. I knew he didn't talk to me cuz he knew I would notice his mouth all numb & his voice slurring every word that came out of his mouth. Tell me what yah think.... other than the regular runny nose that he continues to have... give me some input to what yah would think. Be honest please, I'm used to the worst w/ this man.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
maybe he was having a stroke?
I think it's important to focus on what you want out of life and figure out what kind of behaviors you find acceptable and how you will allow people to treat you. It's up to you to draw boundaries and enforce them. No one is going to do that for you.
So whether he is using or not using becomes less important than how he is treating you. If he's an addict he will deny using coke until he is blue in the face. Even if you catch him redhanded he will still deny it. That's why you should trust your instinct and focus on behaviors.
But if your not willing to make any changes or enforce any boundaries, then what difference is it going to make whether or not he's using.
I think it's important to focus on what you want out of life and figure out what kind of behaviors you find acceptable and how you will allow people to treat you. It's up to you to draw boundaries and enforce them. No one is going to do that for you.
So whether he is using or not using becomes less important than how he is treating you. If he's an addict he will deny using coke until he is blue in the face. Even if you catch him redhanded he will still deny it. That's why you should trust your instinct and focus on behaviors.
But if your not willing to make any changes or enforce any boundaries, then what difference is it going to make whether or not he's using.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Today in our local news was a story of a man who beat his aged mother for $100 so he could go downstate and buy cocaine. It is a nasty drug and sounds like you already know he is using. Hugs, Marle
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I agree with the above. Cocaine IS evil (I'm a recovering crack addict), and I've seen people deny it, even when there is still cocaine around their nose.
Kitty's right...you need to focus on you. Is his behavior acceptable to you? I've heard "we teach others how to treat us" and "we get what we tolerate" and I totally believe it, whether addiction is involved or not.
Please focus on what YOU want out of this relationship. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you have every right to not trust what he says...most of us addicts gave every reason NOT to be trusted and we don't gain that trust back until we've shown, by ACTIONS, that we are worthy of trust.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Kitty's right...you need to focus on you. Is his behavior acceptable to you? I've heard "we teach others how to treat us" and "we get what we tolerate" and I totally believe it, whether addiction is involved or not.
Please focus on what YOU want out of this relationship. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you have every right to not trust what he says...most of us addicts gave every reason NOT to be trusted and we don't gain that trust back until we've shown, by ACTIONS, that we are worthy of trust.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Oh ((((((((smiley)))))))))
Please dahlin' know that you can only notice what he is doing but, you can't make him stop doing what he is doing.
His mouth is dry.... so what, his eyes are big...ho hum....this is just his condition it is what it is.
I wish I could tell ya to get the hell away from him and you would see that as your best option.
The farther we can back away from them and their crap the better for all. It is not right that we allow them to continue being around us when they are doing such awful stuff. It loads bad karma on all concerned to continue doing battle with this demon from hell.
We are very afraid of what backing off might do; they might do so much dope that they kill themselves, and they might just kill themselves no matter what we do or, if we back off enough they might find someone else, pity the poor person that they might be able to run their game down on, or they might get clean and not come back ect ect ect....
Some people have backed off enough and there was real love the kind that could wake them up and they come clean and get real but it is very,very rare that that happens.
Life is precious too precious to waste letting someone else be abusive to us. We are better than that. Let us find enough love for us to protect ourselves from this kind of nonsense. Be gentle okay.
Please dahlin' know that you can only notice what he is doing but, you can't make him stop doing what he is doing.
His mouth is dry.... so what, his eyes are big...ho hum....this is just his condition it is what it is.
I wish I could tell ya to get the hell away from him and you would see that as your best option.
The farther we can back away from them and their crap the better for all. It is not right that we allow them to continue being around us when they are doing such awful stuff. It loads bad karma on all concerned to continue doing battle with this demon from hell.
We are very afraid of what backing off might do; they might do so much dope that they kill themselves, and they might just kill themselves no matter what we do or, if we back off enough they might find someone else, pity the poor person that they might be able to run their game down on, or they might get clean and not come back ect ect ect....
Some people have backed off enough and there was real love the kind that could wake them up and they come clean and get real but it is very,very rare that that happens.
Life is precious too precious to waste letting someone else be abusive to us. We are better than that. Let us find enough love for us to protect ourselves from this kind of nonsense. Be gentle okay.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 20
Thanks alot guys.... its hard & you're right & I know that too. Think the more I hear it the better it helps me. I do deserve better & he knows it. I'm his biggest fool but one day he'll regret it all when he looses the only ppl that really love him. Thanks guys again!
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