justaboutus

Lots of the battles in our home is over money. I want AH to quit drinking and get a job. He wants me to lower my standards so we don't live quite so 'high on the hog'. His cost saving ideas include moving to a less expensive neighborhood (where people get shot but no one has been killed in over a year now), brewing his own beer, and putting down the dog (not kidding - he was sober when he said that too).

So today, my very frugal husband called me at work to say he heard the olive crop failed, so he went out and bought ALL the olives at the Kroger, before the prices went up and he took DD to get sushi and she likes it.

[sarcasm on] So don't be alarmed, the martinis will continue to be dirty despite the olive crisis. He has SAVED us from overpriced olives... whew... thank goodness. I was worried there for a bit. [sarcasm off]

Could someone please hand me a bucket, I think I'm going to vomit.

Silverberry1331

I guess the alcoholic's behavior reaches the bizarre. My AH thinks that he see ghosts and hears spirits.

Bizarre!

Thank goodness we have this board...I share things here that I don't share with my cat. Sending you my love!

ToughChoices

OMG - this cracked me up!

Beware the olive crisis!!

justaboutus

(with my hand on my forehead in a swooning posture) Heaven forbid martinis without olives!! The TRAGEDY of it all!! What would the neighbors think!?! Aaaaahhhh!!! (channeling Scarlet) It would be... curtains!

hadenoughnow

Oh yeah I remember stuff like that.

"let's sell the house and move to an apartment"
"you spend too much money on clothes"
""what do you mean I can't take any more money out of the bank?"
and last but not least
"I shouldn't have to work anymore, you make plenty of money"

needless to say he is now my EX husband (ironically enough he now works OT so he can afford $900 a month for beer, smokes and eating out)

JustMeInWI

I think that right there says it all. When we're not enabling, they have to enable themselves.

Snickers008

HAHAHAHA. That was hilarious! But we won't be laughing when the price of olives skyrockets! Perhaps the dog can work in the beer brewing operation??

This reminds me of my alcoholic ex husband. Just for a change of pace from the alcohol every once in awhile he would treat himself to a joint soaked in PCP. Fun times for all! Then he claimed he was followed by an alien named Orion who was secretly double knotting his shoelaces. Those pesky aliens! Then he would follow me around screaming "PETE WHERE ARE MY FILES PETE!!!" Needless to say my name is not PETE. I would direct him to the bathroom and tell him his files were under the sink and he would pull all the items out one by one until he passed out and we dragged him into the hallway to conclude yet another peaceful evening.

coyote21

I can remember when I thought my AW's passing out from drinking too much was the worst, most scary thing I'd ever experienced.

Funny how one's perspective changes as the disease progresses. I began to look foreward to the passing out to enjoy the peace.

At one point when I realized just how much it costs to drink a case of beer and smoke 2 packs of, yes premium ciggs (nothing but the best for my alki) daily and STILL not pass out, I suggusted a switch to vodka. You should have seen her eyes light up while she tried to play it off. Ha!

A $10 bottle of rot gut vodka would last 3 days, and was fast and predictable. Ahhhh sweet unconsciousness.....priceless!

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

P.S. That's some funny stuff up there!

Blondie

My AH insists that I clip coupons, buy genertic everything, and cut down on the amount of food and we eat as a family. You know the gas prices are so high that everything's going up! He's throws a hissy fit every time he makes out the bills.

Yet, he spends about $120 on cigerettes every week AND over $900 a month at the bar. When I show him the amount he was spending, he said he'd cut back. Well, the next month he spent over $1200 at the bar.

Mine passes out in a chair in the garage with the door wide open (he sits in the chair just underneath the door. I just leave him there and let him wander in on his own a few hours afterward. He always complains about his back after a night like that, but he always blames his job. The good thing is, I get the bed to myself.

respektingme

You know, often times we can sum up our A's rants to quacking. So, saving money can be a smart move, but going overboard because our A's have their priorities out of whack sounds like we may be listening to the quacking.

My AH started working on a spreadsheet in January, tracking every dime that we spend. Consequently, all our spending is my fault. That is a really great axe to swing when he's drunk. I think he took that one on because I stopped caring if he called me fat. Didn't phase me anymore. So, with a spreadsheet, he could make pie charts of all my faults. Imagine that, just like a presentation, he could quantify how irresponsible I am.

The problem is, yes, I do do all the spending. Why? Because he buy very little besides vodka. He never uses the debit card to buy it. He only ever uses cash, so that doesn't show up on his spreadsheet. He doesn't care if we need fertilizer, a plumber to fix the toilet, carpet cleaning, school clothes, laundry soap, garbage pickup, etc. None of that ever crosses his mind. He assumes I'll take care of it.

I got sick of hearing about the spreadsheet. It's not that I'm not interested in saving money. But I'll do it with him when he's sober, period. As long as I engage him in any way about money while he's active, it's never anything more than a fight. Finances are his way of getting me off his back. He's always gotta have something. Quack, quack.

Tally

Some of the stuff in this thread is quite funny if you look at it from a detached point of view...funny how their mind works, who gives a damn if you've got olives!

I used to get the money thing too from my bf...he'd get drunk and then go on and on about why we could never afford to go anywhere together or go on holiday and how it was all down to my lack of ambition, I'd tell him it was because we couldn't afford to do those things and he'd tell me if I wanted to I would make them happen...How he thought we could go on holiday if only I wanted it enough was beyond me...I pointed out that he was spending upwards of £300 a month on booze and fags but obviously that wasn't the reason we couldn't afford anything, it was my lack of ambition....It used to drive me crazy till I realised that it didn't really matter. Now that he's stopped drinking and smoking we're much better off and he can see why.

WishIWasNormal

Your cat sees and hears it all anyway, so you don't have to tell it. I used to cry into my cat's furry shoulder and she would purr her sympathy and support.

hadenoughnow

My ex TRIED to do this, I told him hell was going to freeze over before myself or our child went without so he could drink and smoke. I started making sure every dime necessary for bills etc was allocated and gave him a "bill" for his share, if he didn't have enough money well too bad. After years of trying to juggle I made it clear that his addictions were not on my list of priorities, period. He quacked a lot and accused me of hiding money etc. I just looked at him and said "What are you going to do? Leave? There's the door"

Live

The cat sees and hears it anyway......ROFLMAO.....and I was in the GRUMPIEST mood when I started to read this thread!

Hey we just started a spreadsheet too, but there is also accounting for CASH, it's money isn't it? If not, I'll take it, thanks. If you all have direct deposit or deposit the whole income, then the spreadsheet can't be balanced, right?

Live

This thread has in a pathetically sad and funny way saved my day.


HMMM......when hubs and I were separated for a month my elec was $85, with him back it is $140.....and he jumps to tell me when I leave the bathroom light on!
roll eyes. Don't think I don't remind him everytime.

justaboutus

That just hit me as really funny...

Here's a list of my faults:

nail biting = 1%
hate mopping = 2%
chocolate addiction/thunder thighs = 3%
putting up with AH's BS = 95%

dolphingal1971

oh my alkie preceeds to tell me everyday when he goes without lunch, that he didnt have the money, and when I ask him, what did u have for lunch, he says, "nothin, what am I supposed to eat with no money." Oh and especially on wed. when he has no money cuz he gets paid every thurs. but I only get paid every 2 weeks, but I seem to have money for food and gas. He then tells, me in a rant, you didnt even care if I had money for food or cigs this morning! Hello, no I really don't care anymore, save some of that beer and cigarette money for food and cold drinks when you are working out in the sun and you might not have to suffer. wtf2

chrisea

I used to cry into my cat's furry shoulder and she would purr her sympathy and support.

I had a cat like that, he would cuddle up to me, when I was sad & crying. He was part siamese and the loyalest cat I ever known.


I rem all this stuff

Live

I got tired of hubs talking about money so I put all the receipts in a pile, instructed him to write in all checks and ATM in the check register (new account) and to write the cash in this notebook.
I took a nap. He was mad about doing this in the first place.
He just listed everything on the notebook.
I explained why that does not work and how to do it correctly.
He says...I gotta do it again. Yep.
Now he can't ask me where the money goes or talk to me about saving it without having any involvement.

chrisea

I rem xabf was overdrawn, I explained that his $15 haircut really cost $45 (the overdrawn fee), his bar tab, really???!!! He didn't get it, just went out and spent some more. Talk about extra drain on your monthly budget... He Had to Go, next would have been getting charged for check fraud :codiepolice