can't run can't hide
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
can't run can't hide
just trying to except the facts. My daughter drinks, she steals and lies and has been telling me what she thinks will make me happy.
She is addicted to alcohol.She doesn't work a program.she is 27 yrs old and has a life centered on booze, she drinks at home until she falls into a stupor.
I told myself lies because i want to believe she is getting well.
I sing to myself "hapy days are here again", i smile and laugh.
I think i'm getting better and then i get hit below the belt
and cry "unfair". My daughter is not looking at blue skies and feeling the nights cool air on her cheeks becaue she is smashed.
how fair is it that my life is going on and i dare to feel happiness !!!
I dont get it and don't know what God is up to, i believe ibelieve but just don't get it.
She is addicted to alcohol.She doesn't work a program.she is 27 yrs old and has a life centered on booze, she drinks at home until she falls into a stupor.
I told myself lies because i want to believe she is getting well.
I sing to myself "hapy days are here again", i smile and laugh.
I think i'm getting better and then i get hit below the belt
and cry "unfair". My daughter is not looking at blue skies and feeling the nights cool air on her cheeks becaue she is smashed.
how fair is it that my life is going on and i dare to feel happiness !!!
I dont get it and don't know what God is up to, i believe ibelieve but just don't get it.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
liddy,
My son is in the county jail and will be transfered to a state prison Aug. 1st because of alcohol. 4 DUI's.
Tonight I was sitting on my patio throwing a ball to the dog and thinking about the very thing you have posted about. My life is a good thing. Better than I ever could have imagined.
I have worked on guilt, I have let go, I have detached, I have set boundaries and those are the reasons I am feeling serene. I have worked hard and I have reaped the benefits.
I am sad that he has to go through this but nothing I tried changed one thing. So my feeling bad or guilty is going to change what? Nothing!
Allow yourself a moment of sadness because that is real...but know you can't do anything to change it.
Hugs,
JT
My son is in the county jail and will be transfered to a state prison Aug. 1st because of alcohol. 4 DUI's.
Tonight I was sitting on my patio throwing a ball to the dog and thinking about the very thing you have posted about. My life is a good thing. Better than I ever could have imagined.
I have worked on guilt, I have let go, I have detached, I have set boundaries and those are the reasons I am feeling serene. I have worked hard and I have reaped the benefits.
I am sad that he has to go through this but nothing I tried changed one thing. So my feeling bad or guilty is going to change what? Nothing!
Allow yourself a moment of sadness because that is real...but know you can't do anything to change it.
Hugs,
JT
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Southern Maryland
Posts: 169
(((liddy))):
It is VERY HARD to stand by and watch somebody you love self-destruct. But you don't have to just stand by -- continue to pray for her. God sees what she is doing too, and it hurts Him just as much as you.
As we all know, the addiction for any of our loved ones will continue until the pain of drinking becomes greater than the pain of not drinking. When that day comes, she will want to change, she will seek out things that will help her stay sober, all on her own.
Until then, I can't imagine the hurt that comes from wanting your child to have a happy, healthy life, and then watch the wasting away of what should be the best years of her life.
I can only compare it to how God must have felt when he created the first human, put him in the perfect garden of Eden where he had everything he could have ever wanted, and then watched the fool chose death over life.
Unfortunately, sometimes we humans use our free will to be very stupid. I know it sucks, but you don't have any other choice to allow her to be stupid for the time being........ it's her right.
Don't get down on yourself for being deceived by the alcohol. Alcoholics can look AMAZINGLY in-control and fool anybody. Heck, why do you think the rest of us are on this board anyway??
It is VERY HARD to stand by and watch somebody you love self-destruct. But you don't have to just stand by -- continue to pray for her. God sees what she is doing too, and it hurts Him just as much as you.
As we all know, the addiction for any of our loved ones will continue until the pain of drinking becomes greater than the pain of not drinking. When that day comes, she will want to change, she will seek out things that will help her stay sober, all on her own.
Until then, I can't imagine the hurt that comes from wanting your child to have a happy, healthy life, and then watch the wasting away of what should be the best years of her life.
I can only compare it to how God must have felt when he created the first human, put him in the perfect garden of Eden where he had everything he could have ever wanted, and then watched the fool chose death over life.
Unfortunately, sometimes we humans use our free will to be very stupid. I know it sucks, but you don't have any other choice to allow her to be stupid for the time being........ it's her right.
Don't get down on yourself for being deceived by the alcohol. Alcoholics can look AMAZINGLY in-control and fool anybody. Heck, why do you think the rest of us are on this board anyway??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
oh JT- i can only admire your detachment and how hard you had to work to get there. and still there can be nothing easy when thoughts go through your mind about where your son is headed.
Focusing on today is enough, and i try to do that, but last night when my daughter and her husband called, i again have to face my helplessness,and get my mind off of projecting her future.
eyesopen- thank you, I do keep the hope, its the inbetween that's tough ! your right it is her right to be stupid, nothing absolutely nothing i can say or do will bring her to sobriety any sooner.
Today is a new day for all of us and i will use this day as best i can to continue my own recovery.
hugs and love
liddy
Focusing on today is enough, and i try to do that, but last night when my daughter and her husband called, i again have to face my helplessness,and get my mind off of projecting her future.
eyesopen- thank you, I do keep the hope, its the inbetween that's tough ! your right it is her right to be stupid, nothing absolutely nothing i can say or do will bring her to sobriety any sooner.
Today is a new day for all of us and i will use this day as best i can to continue my own recovery.
hugs and love
liddy
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