Advice regarding the Steps....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
Advice regarding the Steps....
I have read some of the step threads on this site and they are helpful. However, I would like for some of you to tell me (1) how I know when to move to the next step and (2) If I already admit number 1 and 2, how do I actually turn my will over to God in terms of what AA means? I ask this because I am a Christian that already beleives the Lord is my Savoir and I guess I am not sure what AA means by step 3.
Then , with Step 4, When doing the inventory, do they simply mean to evaluate your life and make a list of mostly the bad things we have done in life while drinking.
I am asking these questions because the 12 steps seem so simple yet very confusing at the same time.
Help?
Then , with Step 4, When doing the inventory, do they simply mean to evaluate your life and make a list of mostly the bad things we have done in life while drinking.
I am asking these questions because the 12 steps seem so simple yet very confusing at the same time.
Help?
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
hi ghal,
great your doing step work
My experience has been that I could not do the steps alone. I got a sponsor, a sponsor is omeone who has worked the steps, somone whos recovery you admire, someone you can relate to. There role is to simply guide you through the steps one at a time from No 1 to No 12.
Step 4 is not about an immoral inventory it is a moral, an honest and open list of lives.
Kevin
great your doing step work
My experience has been that I could not do the steps alone. I got a sponsor, a sponsor is omeone who has worked the steps, somone whos recovery you admire, someone you can relate to. There role is to simply guide you through the steps one at a time from No 1 to No 12.
Step 4 is not about an immoral inventory it is a moral, an honest and open list of lives.
Kevin
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 700
Agree with what others have said, and will add this. Read the Big Book .. Alcoholics Anonymous .. Its the text book for the program. The instructions for the steps are in it.
Get a sponsor that will take you through the steps as they are in the Big Book.
Best of Luck
Get a sponsor that will take you through the steps as they are in the Big Book.
Best of Luck
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
(No doubt there are those who will read what I'm about to write and say that I don't know what I'm talking about... Oh well)...
Its been said, "...first we replaced God with ego, then we replaced ego with alcohol... getting dry gets rid of the alcohol, but we can't stop there... we have to smash our ego, get rid of it and put God back in his rightful place in our lives..."
For me, that has been the heart of my 3rd step. It started with the realization that I had forgetten that God is in charge, that this is his universe, something which He created, and that this life I have, I have only as a steward. He's lent it to me in order to carry out His Will. Its not something I deserve or am entitled to, its not even something I own, and it can be taken away at any instant. And yes, I will have to answer for what I've done with it.
As a fellow Christian, you are probably familiar with the parable of the three servants and the talents. A man gave certain talents (sums of money) to his servants to use while he was away. When he came back, he asked them what they had done with the talents while he was gone. One servant hid his away for safekeeping. Another used some of them but not as well as he should have, and not entirely for the benefit of his master. Another used his talents wisely and multiplied them for his master.
I think its no accident that in the parable they're called "talents", for we each have certain gifts we've been given. "...To whom much is given, much is expected..." I had forgotten that truth long before my drinking becaume alcoholic. I had forgotten that all that I am has been lent to me. My ego would have me believe that its somehow inherent, something I'm entitled to, but its not.
My 3rd step didn't happen overnight and it was, and continues to be, very humbling for me. I ask for a lot of forgiveness over what I allowed my ego to become, (and its always waiting, ready to take over again). Praying on my knees helps me to remember.
"What would Jesus do?" An excellent question! It reminds me that I'm not in charge and that I'm here for a reason. I'm to use these talents, exercising them, not for my benefit but to try to carry out His Will.
That's the heart of my 3rd step. Its something I have to do daily.
"Ego is the root of all evil"
...how do I actually turn my will over to God in terms of what AA means? I ask this because I am a Christian that already beleives the Lord is my Savoir and I guess I am not sure what AA means by step 3...
For me, that has been the heart of my 3rd step. It started with the realization that I had forgetten that God is in charge, that this is his universe, something which He created, and that this life I have, I have only as a steward. He's lent it to me in order to carry out His Will. Its not something I deserve or am entitled to, its not even something I own, and it can be taken away at any instant. And yes, I will have to answer for what I've done with it.
As a fellow Christian, you are probably familiar with the parable of the three servants and the talents. A man gave certain talents (sums of money) to his servants to use while he was away. When he came back, he asked them what they had done with the talents while he was gone. One servant hid his away for safekeeping. Another used some of them but not as well as he should have, and not entirely for the benefit of his master. Another used his talents wisely and multiplied them for his master.
I think its no accident that in the parable they're called "talents", for we each have certain gifts we've been given. "...To whom much is given, much is expected..." I had forgotten that truth long before my drinking becaume alcoholic. I had forgotten that all that I am has been lent to me. My ego would have me believe that its somehow inherent, something I'm entitled to, but its not.
My 3rd step didn't happen overnight and it was, and continues to be, very humbling for me. I ask for a lot of forgiveness over what I allowed my ego to become, (and its always waiting, ready to take over again). Praying on my knees helps me to remember.
"What would Jesus do?" An excellent question! It reminds me that I'm not in charge and that I'm here for a reason. I'm to use these talents, exercising them, not for my benefit but to try to carry out His Will.
That's the heart of my 3rd step. Its something I have to do daily.
"Ego is the root of all evil"
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Ok....good to see you interested
Sooo
First look on the literature rack
most meetings have the official AA guideline
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"
Then you find a sponsor and work the steps.
It's also a help to have the AA book
12 Steps and 12 Traditions
to assist in your step work.
I'm pleased you are eager ...
Sooo
First look on the literature rack
most meetings have the official AA guideline
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"
Then you find a sponsor and work the steps.
It's also a help to have the AA book
12 Steps and 12 Traditions
to assist in your step work.
I'm pleased you are eager ...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
Green Tea...I appreciate you sharing what it mens to you. I have battled with the issue my whole life regarding whether I am doing Gods work or not. Not just when I drink but for many years. I think the God, ego, Alcohol example really makes sense!
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
(Continuing)...
For me the 4th step comes in two parts...
The first part follows as a natural result of the 3rd step. Namely, looking at my life and seeing where I've put my ego in place of God. Where have my thoughts and feelings caused me to believe that *I* can make the rules, that *I* can DECIDE the difference between right and wrong. Where do I say "yeah, but..."?
I find recurring patterns. On the "yeah, but..." take for example "white lies" or "fibs". The world and my ego would say, "Okay, I shouldn't tell malicious lies BUT those little ones are of no consequence and they make things go smoothly for everybody".
What my ego doesn't want me to see is that telling even "little white lies" puts me into the HABIT of deceit. My ego would have me believe, "Yeah but, you're doing it for a good cause or some justifiable reason, so its okay... it won't *really* destroy your integrity or make you arrogant so don't worry about it and just keep on doing it if you want, er, need to... any old reason (or even none at all) will do".
Who is my ego to determine whether or not its okay? That's the job of my conscience, not my ego. My ego would have me forget how to listen to my conscience so that once again, it can "play god".
Recurring patterns... For me, the first part of my 4th step involves trying to see where my ego would have me live life my way instead of God's way. Again, this is an ongoing process -- its not something I "do and complete" and then forget about, (although ego wants me to).
The second part of my 4th step centers around resentments... Where am I upset, and why? Where do I feel wronged and hurt, and why? Where is the pain and why is it there? What is MY part in carrying it all around?
Guess what? That side of it comes back to ego as well... Invariably, if I search long enough and honestly enough, what I find is either a hurt little child or a fearful one.
Let's take the fearful one first... I find myself afraid of losing something I think I'm entitled to, or I find myself afraid of what I am, or of what others will perceive me as. My ego says "...that doesn't fit my MANUFACTURED self-image so I reject it and how dare you try to do that to me..."
The hurt-filled one isn't too different... "...You did me wrong, how dare you..." or "...because of you, see how much pain I'm in, so you'd better do something about it because its YOUR fault, not mine, and I'll just keep carrying it around until YOU fix it because you OWE me that..."
In both cases, I've found that *ultimately* its my ego throwing a child's tantrum, and in most cases it comes down to that "entitled" thing again. And yes, like a child it (I) will act out, "...see what I have to go through because of you..." kind of thing.
My 4th step is also filled with a lot of responsibility in the sense that I have to own what my ego is doing... Its my ego, I'm the one who has to manage it, to try to shut it up and put it in its place, which again follows directly from the 3rd step.
"Ego is the root of all evil".
I hope I'm making sense.
...Then , with Step 4, When doing the inventory, do they simply mean to evaluate your life and make a list of mostly the bad things we have done in life while drinking...
The first part follows as a natural result of the 3rd step. Namely, looking at my life and seeing where I've put my ego in place of God. Where have my thoughts and feelings caused me to believe that *I* can make the rules, that *I* can DECIDE the difference between right and wrong. Where do I say "yeah, but..."?
I find recurring patterns. On the "yeah, but..." take for example "white lies" or "fibs". The world and my ego would say, "Okay, I shouldn't tell malicious lies BUT those little ones are of no consequence and they make things go smoothly for everybody".
What my ego doesn't want me to see is that telling even "little white lies" puts me into the HABIT of deceit. My ego would have me believe, "Yeah but, you're doing it for a good cause or some justifiable reason, so its okay... it won't *really* destroy your integrity or make you arrogant so don't worry about it and just keep on doing it if you want, er, need to... any old reason (or even none at all) will do".
Who is my ego to determine whether or not its okay? That's the job of my conscience, not my ego. My ego would have me forget how to listen to my conscience so that once again, it can "play god".
Recurring patterns... For me, the first part of my 4th step involves trying to see where my ego would have me live life my way instead of God's way. Again, this is an ongoing process -- its not something I "do and complete" and then forget about, (although ego wants me to).
The second part of my 4th step centers around resentments... Where am I upset, and why? Where do I feel wronged and hurt, and why? Where is the pain and why is it there? What is MY part in carrying it all around?
Guess what? That side of it comes back to ego as well... Invariably, if I search long enough and honestly enough, what I find is either a hurt little child or a fearful one.
Let's take the fearful one first... I find myself afraid of losing something I think I'm entitled to, or I find myself afraid of what I am, or of what others will perceive me as. My ego says "...that doesn't fit my MANUFACTURED self-image so I reject it and how dare you try to do that to me..."
The hurt-filled one isn't too different... "...You did me wrong, how dare you..." or "...because of you, see how much pain I'm in, so you'd better do something about it because its YOUR fault, not mine, and I'll just keep carrying it around until YOU fix it because you OWE me that..."
In both cases, I've found that *ultimately* its my ego throwing a child's tantrum, and in most cases it comes down to that "entitled" thing again. And yes, like a child it (I) will act out, "...see what I have to go through because of you..." kind of thing.
My 4th step is also filled with a lot of responsibility in the sense that I have to own what my ego is doing... Its my ego, I'm the one who has to manage it, to try to shut it up and put it in its place, which again follows directly from the 3rd step.
"Ego is the root of all evil".
I hope I'm making sense.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Whoah..
ghal.....
Keep it simple....Best to get a sponsor as it has been suggested. But until
you do...please get a copy of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as Carol ID
suggested. And just read about the steps ...
Just my opinion. Good preparation until you get a sponsor to guide you.
Of course...your Heavenly Father will be your ultimate guide.
You just can't go wrong!
Pray and ask for Him to lead you to the right person for you.
He will. I know..He did it for me.
Blessings.
ghal.....
Keep it simple....Best to get a sponsor as it has been suggested. But until
you do...please get a copy of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as Carol ID
suggested. And just read about the steps ...
Just my opinion. Good preparation until you get a sponsor to guide you.
Of course...your Heavenly Father will be your ultimate guide.
You just can't go wrong!
Pray and ask for Him to lead you to the right person for you.
He will. I know..He did it for me.
Blessings.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
Great stuff GreenTea. And IQ, I have read the Big Book and the 12 Traditions and a ton of other pieces of documentation. I guess I am now trying to figure out how to put it in to action and I think you are saying, "that's what the sponsor will help you do".. I agree with that. I think I want a temporary sponsor to help me discuss how bad my problem really is. I have the person picked out but I am kind of waiting to make some comittments on my end.
I am doing well with the non-drinking. Since Jul 25 I have only drank one night and it was 2 beers and a bit of wine(Friday night). No hangover the next day and no trouble not drinking the next night. I know that's not total sobriety but 1 out 24 days isn't so bad in the beginning. I have no plans to drink today as I have a full schedule and family to be with and I am going to my second AA meeting today. I also feel great being sober and my IBS has started to correct itself. That is a dream come true and it might be the final deciding factor in the end. I have had abdominal issues since I was 18 back when I barely drank. It's ironic, I used to tell everyone that I would never be an alocoholic because my stomach would never let me... Funny how powerful this disease really is.
One thing though. Like most drinkers, I am still having a little issue with step one because while my drinking got unmanageable for a little while, for many years it as mangeble and my life was fine. Not until my mother died last Christmas did this extra drinking start. I need to explore why I did that. I consciously didn't tie it to my moms death so what's the deal? I think I am one of those eaerly stage alcoholics that needs to make serious decisions now.
I am doing well with the non-drinking. Since Jul 25 I have only drank one night and it was 2 beers and a bit of wine(Friday night). No hangover the next day and no trouble not drinking the next night. I know that's not total sobriety but 1 out 24 days isn't so bad in the beginning. I have no plans to drink today as I have a full schedule and family to be with and I am going to my second AA meeting today. I also feel great being sober and my IBS has started to correct itself. That is a dream come true and it might be the final deciding factor in the end. I have had abdominal issues since I was 18 back when I barely drank. It's ironic, I used to tell everyone that I would never be an alocoholic because my stomach would never let me... Funny how powerful this disease really is.
One thing though. Like most drinkers, I am still having a little issue with step one because while my drinking got unmanageable for a little while, for many years it as mangeble and my life was fine. Not until my mother died last Christmas did this extra drinking start. I need to explore why I did that. I consciously didn't tie it to my moms death so what's the deal? I think I am one of those eaerly stage alcoholics that needs to make serious decisions now.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You might find this interesting....
I too had years of drinking while living a pleasant life.
For me...the last 5 years slowly slid me into
situational depression directly because I drank.
When I did Step 1...those were the years I wrote on.
Progression Of Alcoholism
Here's how alcoholism typically progresses:
SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.
WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks.
EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.
BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.
CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.
Source: American Medical Association
Here's how alcoholism typically progresses:
SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.
WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks.
EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.
BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.
CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.
Source: American Medical Association
For me...the last 5 years slowly slid me into
situational depression directly because I drank.
When I did Step 1...those were the years I wrote on.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I heard, early in my sobriety, that EGO stands for "Easing God Out"; and, one of my favorites was a banner hung on the altar of the chapel at my very first retreat:
If God seems far away...think...who has moved?
Best of luck in finding a sponsor you will be compatible with. Keep us posted on your progress.
If God seems far away...think...who has moved?
Best of luck in finding a sponsor you will be compatible with. Keep us posted on your progress.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by ghal 
I have read some of the step threads on this site and they are helpful. However, I would like for some of you to tell me (1) how I know when to move to the next step and (2) If I already admit number 1 and 2, how do I actually turn my will over to God in terms of what AA means? I ask this because I am a Christian that already beleives the Lord is my Savoir and I guess I am not sure what AA means by step 3.
Then , with Step 4, When doing the inventory, do they simply mean to evaluate your life and make a list of mostly the bad things we have done in life while drinking.
I am asking these questions because the 12 steps seem so simple yet very confusing at the same time.
Help?
Then , with Step 4, When doing the inventory, do they simply mean to evaluate your life and make a list of mostly the bad things we have done in life while drinking.
I am asking these questions because the 12 steps seem so simple yet very confusing at the same time.
Help?
Step three doesn't say "turned my will and life over"...it says "made a decision to turn my will and life over". Steps 4 thru 9 are that process in action. If I work these steps to the best of my ability I can stay out of self will, which is good because I'm alcoholic and my will always leads to the bottle...always.
Step three basically is nothing more than saying to myself I'm going to work the AA program as outlined by the book, my sponsor and many other friends in the program.
Gods Peace ghal....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
Maybe I am over-thinking here and the program is more simple than I am making it. Not that stopping alcohol is easy but actually following the steps is as simple as it reads on paper. With God being my HP, just turning my life back to God and doing his work, especially within AA as I get to step 12, is what it means?????? Am I getting it now?
Also, I went to a good meeting today (only my second meeting) and shared for the first time. It's funny that I returned to my confident self that made me successful in business when I don't drink and some feel just the opposite. If I had drank the last 4-5 nights, I would've had a little anxiety and probably wouldn't have shared. We were discussing step 1 and when I explained where I am having issues many people lit up in the room. I was swarmed with support after the meeting because I guess they know I am on the fence or fragile. I did explain that I have some blood work being done on Wednesday and if it comes back good like I expect, I told them I am fearful I will drink again. After the meeting, the leader gave me his number and said he would be my temporary sponsor and for me to call him. There were a few folks in there that were just there because of the Judge but I could tell there were a lot of folks that wanted to help me!
FTR, I "DO" want to stop drinking but I am able to go weeks without drinks and then have drinks one night and then stop again. BUT, when I drink without trying to control it, the alocohol becomes nightly and takes over my thoughts and my ambition just sinks. I NEED to stop, period!
PS. How obvious is it that I am new to this and I all over the map with my feelings?
Also, I went to a good meeting today (only my second meeting) and shared for the first time. It's funny that I returned to my confident self that made me successful in business when I don't drink and some feel just the opposite. If I had drank the last 4-5 nights, I would've had a little anxiety and probably wouldn't have shared. We were discussing step 1 and when I explained where I am having issues many people lit up in the room. I was swarmed with support after the meeting because I guess they know I am on the fence or fragile. I did explain that I have some blood work being done on Wednesday and if it comes back good like I expect, I told them I am fearful I will drink again. After the meeting, the leader gave me his number and said he would be my temporary sponsor and for me to call him. There were a few folks in there that were just there because of the Judge but I could tell there were a lot of folks that wanted to help me!
FTR, I "DO" want to stop drinking but I am able to go weeks without drinks and then have drinks one night and then stop again. BUT, when I drink without trying to control it, the alocohol becomes nightly and takes over my thoughts and my ambition just sinks. I NEED to stop, period!
PS. How obvious is it that I am new to this and I all over the map with my feelings?
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
"Getting it" is a process of working the steps with a sponsor (alone I go get blasted) it does not happen in a day it takes time to heal (The Steps) just as it took time to get sick.
Don't try and rush it, enjoy the journey.
Kevin
Don't try and rush it, enjoy the journey.
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio
Posts: 217
Hi again ghal,
Like you, I'm a Christian. I attended church while struggling with my alcoholism. Sat in the pew and listened to our Pastor give a message about integrity when I had none. Every week he'd describe a pathway to a better life of service to others and devotion to God, but I couldn't get over the alcoholism.
I understood what he was saying, I wanted to change, but I couldn't.
What I now believe is that I need contact with others like me, alcoholics...recovering alcoholics. I can find practicing alcoholics any time anywhere and take up right where I left off, but face to face contact with recovering alcoholics is found at AA. I need that.
As nogard said "getting it is a process". My best advice is to not give up. I do know this truth about me, God did not put me on this earth to drink and do drugs, I knew that from day 1, what God does have in mind for me becomes more apparent the longer I stay in recovery.
It's great that you've been offered temporary sponsorship. Put your sobriety first.
All the cliche' sayings are true. When you can't imagine living "One Day At A Time" it's critically important that you trust those around you and try your best to do that.
The miracle of sobriety comes for all who stay...stick around for the miracle!
God's peace
Like you, I'm a Christian. I attended church while struggling with my alcoholism. Sat in the pew and listened to our Pastor give a message about integrity when I had none. Every week he'd describe a pathway to a better life of service to others and devotion to God, but I couldn't get over the alcoholism.
I understood what he was saying, I wanted to change, but I couldn't.
What I now believe is that I need contact with others like me, alcoholics...recovering alcoholics. I can find practicing alcoholics any time anywhere and take up right where I left off, but face to face contact with recovering alcoholics is found at AA. I need that.
As nogard said "getting it is a process". My best advice is to not give up. I do know this truth about me, God did not put me on this earth to drink and do drugs, I knew that from day 1, what God does have in mind for me becomes more apparent the longer I stay in recovery.
It's great that you've been offered temporary sponsorship. Put your sobriety first.
All the cliche' sayings are true. When you can't imagine living "One Day At A Time" it's critically important that you trust those around you and try your best to do that.
The miracle of sobriety comes for all who stay...stick around for the miracle!
God's peace
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
I NEED to stop, period!
The trick isn't in stopping..the trick is to "stay stopped"!
You already have your Higher Power. This is more than a lot of folks have
when they enter AA...
You already the Power...now you just need the program. You are in such
a great position, ghal..an enviable one. Now just ..do it.
Good luck!
The trick isn't in stopping..the trick is to "stay stopped"!
You already have your Higher Power. This is more than a lot of folks have
when they enter AA...
You already the Power...now you just need the program. You are in such
a great position, ghal..an enviable one. Now just ..do it.
Good luck!
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