HopeandPrayer

Well the next shoe just dropped. I am sitting here crying my eyes out because my phone just got shut off because I can't pay the bill. I am just waiting for the cable to get shut off then I will truly be all alone, with no money and no contact with anyone. I can't even let anyone know what is going on because I don't have a phone. If I lose this outlet as well I am so in trouble, my depression is so bad already, I don't know what is going to happen to me.
Please, dear GOD if you have a plan for me would you please let me know, I don't think I can take anymore. I wasn't the one who was using so why do I have to pay the high cost. I am trying to do what you want me to do. What is it that I haven't done? What do I need to do to get beyond this, I am trying so hard, I don't eat, so I can pay my bills, I don't go anywhere so I can pay my bills, I don't drink or do drugs, all I do is sit here or go to work.
Now the places that I have applications in can't even call me because they took my phone away, PLEASE tell me what to do?

Barb

Impurrfect

(((Hope)))

I'm so sorry. I'm sure someone will be along with some ideas of where to go for help.

I know it seems like God is letting you down, but He's not. I would not have learned the lessons He tried to teach me if I hadn't had to suffer through some things.

It's not fair that you are getting the brunt of someone else's addiction, but I, personally, needed to see how bad things got with MY A, before I was full able to end things.

Sending you big hugs and prayers!

Amy

HoopNinja

Barb-
Do you have a Public Service Commission in your state? In Wisconsin they cannot disconnect service unless there have been no attempts to make payments. Most have a complaint department and someone there may be able to help you get your phone reconnected. Usually you need to set up some sort of minimal payment arrangement.

Also, what is more important--cable or a phone? You are not the cause of the financial problems but are the one who is being forced to shoulder it--if you decide that is what you are going to do. If you are not eating so you can pay your bills and still are not making it (and it is because someone else was/is using)--you may need to sit down and decide what is next and what is best for you. Keep praying. God will answer you.

In the meantime, do you have any friends (or anyplace) who/that will allow you to use their number for messages? Until you get reconnected this might be your best bet. Then you can contact the places you have applied and let them know you have new contact information. They don't need to know the details about your phone being disconnected. Another idea is to give them an email address. You are online here--how did you do that? You have an Internet connection so you still have contact with the world :-)

God has not left you honey. He still loves you and knows you are in trouble and will make sure you are OK.

Sending prayers your way.

Done_With_It

Here is a food bank in your area, if you go to them/call them they can probably help you find other resources of help...



America's Second Harvest - Food Bank Locator



If you need food, we can help you to locate emergency food assistance services in your community.

Or if you go to church they can often help out also..

:praying

HopeandPrayer

Thanks for all the support, i have set it up for my family to leave messages at the place I am working part time, but since I just moved here I don't have any friends that I can count on here. I have been too focused on my RAS this last year to meet many other people.
I did this to myself by not being able to say NO to my son, I know that but it doesn't make it any easier to handle.
Thanks for the info on the food bank that will probably be my next step, at least I won't starve while all this gets straightened out.
Thanks again for all the support, If I lose this I am truly sunk, I just need to keep working my program, and instead of on day I am going to have to go to one min. or one hour or I will drive myself crazy.

I need to let go and let GOD, but dang it is so hard some times.
Barb

HopeandPrayer

I finally found something good about my phone being shut off. The rest of my creditor's can't bug me with calls. At least from them I will have peace and quiet.
Barb

Done_With_It

This is also a really good site, you may have to search around abit because I think at first i leads you to Los Angeles, but it gives you resources for all over.
It is great!

ihml flash checker

He has a Great uplifting story also, if you get a chance you should read it!!
It may give you a boost!

HopeandPrayer

All this support is making me cry, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, you guys are the bright point in my day right now.

Done,
I went to the website you posted, that guy is amazing to come thru what he did and work to help others to the extent he does. I only hope someday I can do what he does. I am not where he was yet but if something doesn't turn around I might be. The only consulation I have is that so far my mom and step-dad are trying to help me the best they can even tho they are retired and on a fixed income. His story has reminded me that there are others out there who are in a worse place than I am right now, and to be thankful for the little I do have.

I guess I just need to get off this pity party ride and do something to relieve my stress right now. I think I am going to read my bible and then go for a walk.

Once again thank you and GOD bless everyone of you. I may not know you face to face but I feel like at this point in time you guys are the best friends I have right now besides my mom and sons.

THANK YOU
Barb:praying

Impurrfect

I'm glad you're feeling better. I have my own "pity parties" but I set a time limit, then let it go and figure out what I CAN do, right now.

((Done)) I just read that guy's story...thank you for reminding me of what I have to be grateful for!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

GreenEyedGirl39

Just one month ago my AH left me high and dry too. He was getting high and finally hit his bottom. He tried to get off of pain meds but was dope sick. He took 5 sleeping pills to "sleep it off" and he OD'd. He went into the hospital and then straight to rehab. He had been taking over the bills since I got sick 2 yrs ago and have been having back to back hip surgeries.

Well, was I in for a rude awakening when I looked at the bills. For starters, the bills were about 7 piles, each a foot off the ground. I was overwhelmed. Then I panicked. We were 3 mos. behind in the mortgage, every bill had a disconnection notice and when he woke up in the hospital he told me it was time to come clean and let me know the he had Payday Advances out. So, the money I thought I would pay things with (paychecks) were to be eaten up by these advances plus the fees.

If it hadn't been for my 5 yr. old little boy and the fact that I refused to let his world cave in, I would have crawled in a 6 ft. hole myself and died. I was distraught. But in all honesty, I am glad it happened to me. I know it hard for you to see this now, but if you are like me, pure raw anger is a hell of a motivator! I was damned if I was going to let his addiction rob me of one more thing in my or our sons life. That was were I drew the line in the sand.

I went to my 401k's and withdrew loans and then I took hardship withdrawals. I then did a forebearance for the final payment of my mortgage to bring it up to date (they take the payment and split it up over a year or 6 mos. and add it to your current payment. In a matter of 3 weeks I went from being almost 10k in the hole to current on everything but my cable and cell (which will be caught up in 2 weeks). I also made payment arrangements on back property taxes for last year (there were lawyer letters he never opened where they were in the process of filing suit against us!!)


Although you may not have 401k's or savings or whatever, its not about that. It's the fact that after you get past the hurt, anger and fear...you dig your heels in and say to yourself, "ok, dangit, that's it! I will NOT let anyone do this to me anymore!" Then you do whatever it takes. You are only working part-time? Get a second job. I suggest trying waitressing in moderate to high priced place. It's fast cash and a steady stream of it. You work that day, you get paid that day. And it's full time pay for part time work. Like everyone else says, use every resource you can. Charitable organizations, churches, etc. Contact every major bill you have and make arrangements. And I mean the ones you need to survive. You don't NEED cable. I suggest going to the library and getting some books like I did to get YOUR head on straight and start healing YOU instead of watching cable right now.

And most important, never, ever let someone manipulate you again and put you in that position. You keep charge of your finances from here on out. I know I am, sick or not. They are going to have to pry my credit cards and checkbook out of my cold dead hands before I ever give them to someone else again.

Oh, one more thing. Once you are back on your feet, I would definitely open a savings account at a different bank where he doesn't know about it. Have it "paperless" (no statements mailed to you-only seen online). Have auto-deposits of your paycheck in it and build yourself an emergency fund. If I ever need a way out, I know I will have it.

Good luck to you sweety. Hang in there. I know how it feels and man does it hurt. But have a good cry and go at it swinging. Demand your life and world to be as you want it. Only you can do it.

Big hugs to you. And I am sorry you have to go through this. :sorry

Done_With_It

H&P, Amy

Glad you both like it, I know it was an eye opener for me, I haven't read it in awhile, I think I will go back and read it again....

HopeandPrayer

You are right Greeneyed, I am a fighter, I have just been hit by so many things over the last 2 months that I am having a hard time wading my way thru the depression.
I am a full time college student in the computer industry and have to have fast internet to get my school work done, so until my classes are thru a year from now I don't have a choice but to have cable internet.
I just put in the paper work for emergency release of some of my school funds($500, rent $445), but those won't come until next week. The rest of my financial aid won't arrive until Sept 11, whcih is too late to get all this other taken care of. I just need to make it thru the next month but things just don't seem to willing to wait that long. I get paid at my part time job next friday but it is only about $220 for 2 wks of work. I am currently looking for another job but it has to be one that will work around my class schedule which is really hard, I have thought about waitressing, becouse you are right, in that if you are good and friendly you can make great money, but just haven't found anything yet.
Everything is in place, its just that none of the bill collector's are willing to be patient until I get all this rolling. That is what is so frustrating.

And like the gentleman in the story that Done posted, my friends only want to talk about how bad they have it, when they live in a "normal" home with 2 or 3 good incomes, which just makes me feel even more worthless, because they seem to be saying "we are doing it, why can't you?". I get so tired of hearing this response that I don't even talk about my problems anymore to them because they don't have a clue how bad it really is.

Barb

WishIWasNormal

Gather up your bills and your paycheck stubs and make an appointment at your closest St. Vincent de Paul. They will usually help only once a year per family, but if that will help you get on your feet, it will be a blessing to you.

If you have a serious health issue (diabetes heart trouble etc.) or a small child in the home, your electric and phone will also not be cut off. You have probably already learned by now that to let a utility to be cut off for $30-$40 dollars will cost $100 to $150 in fees and deposits to be reconnected.

God Bless You.

Impurrfect

(((Hope)))

I am a waitress. Although my hours were changed and I'm not making as much money as I was on old hours, it has paid my bills. I work in a 24-hour-restaurant and we have a lot of people who have 2nd jobs, school, kids, etc. where they need adjustable hours.

My latest motto is "I always land on my feet" and it's true. I've struggled because of my OWN addiction, but I keep the mindset that I can get through whatever life handles me...what I can't handle, God has taken care of.

Once we focus on what we CAN do, and not what we CAN'T, things get better...and I think that's where you are.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

hope213

you do the best you can, don't give up. life for you is not good right now but i promise with recovery it will get better. when we let the addict control us & our life we live the addicts life & not ours. like them we dig our hole deeper & deeper & it takes awhile for us to fill it up. i hope you find the help with your finances you need. i am sending up prayers for you. bigs hugs,

tsukiko

Is there no one near you who you can drop in on to borrow th phone for a few minutes, just to explain to people why you arn't in touch? Maybe it'll mean people can try get to you, that or a phone box?

Also isn't there a homeless centre near by? When I was sofa surfing of living without a phoneline etc I used to drop in the homeless centre. They helped me with alsorts, from calling people up and sorting things out to cleaning my clothes, getting new clothes and feeding me dinner. You dont have to be homeless to ask for help at a centre, and it also helped me to meet people in similar situations, restore my faith, and not be so alone.

I live in England, so maybe its different here. But thought I'd post incase it was of any use. Plus, in england if you have your electri and gas cut off there are government funds for those below th poverty line or broke which means you dont have to freeze over winter or sit in the dark.

HopeandPrayer

I am doing better today than yesterday, and it all has to do with the support of all of you. The outpouring of love and support got me thru a very dark place yesterday.
I am working on getting my phone turned back on, and since it is Saturday, will wait til Monday to try to put into play some of the suggestions mentioned in the posts from yesterday. I am trying to stay strong and get out from under the depression that is weighing me down right now. I know that tears and frustration get nothing accomplished except to let more negatives into my brain. So I am working on keeping positve thoughts going.
I sat down last night and started listing the pros and cons of me, and as I work on the list the pros are slowly overtaking the cons, the positive is slowly overtaking the negative, and I am slowly coming back to the me I know exists. I am normally a very optimistic person so when things go negative it really rocks my world.
LOVE and HUGS to all of you, I couldn't have gotten to where I am today, as quickly, without all of you.

:ghug

Barb

Impurrfect

Way to go Hope!!!

I love what several people here say about the difference between a bad day and a good day is about 2 days.

I still have down days, but the great people here don't let me STAY down.

I'm usually an optimistic person too, but when things start to overwhelm me, I get tunnel vision...I can only see the bad. Thank God, there are people here to remind us we have options.

Things WILL work out for you. They may not be exactly what and when YOU think they should, but as long as we keep doing the best we can, we'll be okay. Heck, some of the things I thought that were horrible, have turned out better than I could imagine!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy