Jackie36

Oh boy, I finally got a dwi on Monday, spent 2 days in jail. Now I have to do an inpatient AGAIN for 10 days, then 10 more days on a bracelet. Good God, I feel so low, and panicky. My fiance is mad of coarse, says he won't leave me, will stick by me, and my daughter is just mad. I have put them both thru hell this last year and a half. The upside to this is, I can't drink for 2 years. Probation. And I won't go back to jail, it was hell, so I have that safety net. I got fired on Monday, and that set me overboard. I have so much to clean up, AGAIN. How do ya get your self confidence back, believe the people around you? I mean, I know they have a right to be mad, but I just want it all fixed right now! Thanx in advance for any advice you can give

WendyS

Oh Jackie, I wish it could all be 'fixed right now'. The only way to get the trust back from the ones you have hurt is to show them, with your actions, that you are serious about recovery and working actively to stay sober. You can stay sober, it is doable, take it easy on yourself and get busy recovering, I promise it is worth it. You can do it!!
Wendy

Toomutch

Just start with today and don't look any further, until tomorrow, and then do the same thing, and so on and so on.

It will take a little while for your family to trust you again, but as they see you recovering, day by day the trust will come back.

Anna

Hi Jackie,

I think the hardest thing I had to learn when I stopped drinking was patience. I wanted everything to be okay and no matter what I did, I couldn't fix everything, at least not right away.

The best thing you can do for your confidence is to take each day as it comes and stay sober. Show yourself and your family that you are changing.

Rusty Zipper

jackie, just keep do'n that next right thing, working on a recovery program, and lead by example... not intentions.

give time time, and let it do its thing, with you doing the foot work...

good wishes jackie!

rz

Jackie36

I appreciate everyones words. The thing is, I was sober for 3 years, worked the program probably for the first year. Relapsed, was out for about 2. In and out of rehab, hospitals, that kind of thing. Back in rehab twice late last year, stayed sober for 7 months, then bam, AGAIN. So the ups and downs of my doings, has created chaos with the ones I love. I know time will take time, I just hope its not to late. My family really has condemed me, my mom, who has turned my dad against me, my brother and sister in law, have thrown me away. Literally. My daughter, fiance, and sister are really all I have, no friends. It just makes me feel bad that my family has gotten "rid" of me. But this time around, I do have to deal with it, and put it behind me, I think that has been keeping me sick too. Appreciate the 3 people I do have.

tanyapmc

Hi Jackie and I am glad that your back and posting. Your right that time takes time. It took a while for my family to trust me again. It took even longer for me to be able to trust myself. Hang in there and please keep posting!

WishIWasNormal

COLOR="SeaGreen"]I had a bad day(s) awhile back also. I got caught helping myself to some morphine and demerol at work which of course got me fired. Then the hospital thought a grand jury should be convened and law enforcement agreed. My law enforcement husband took a dim view of the proceedings and divorced me. Then I was sentenced to seven years in prison. The only thing that saved me was that I had a clean record and the judge changed the seven years to 18 months probation which I completed successfully.

Meanwhile, since my income went from $40,000/yr to zero overnight, I had to endure the tortures of the collection agencies (calling every 15 minutes on an automatic dialer etc.) So I used my tax refund to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy which helped a little bit. (They were furious and called or came over to tell me so even though they were not supposed to do so. I started taking pictures of them on the property, which made them furious)Two of them came back with rifles-they found out where I worked from the bankruptcy papers and came there too. It finally stopped when I moved but didn't change my address with DMV so they couldn't find me. The $50 fine for not changing my address is well worth the security of having a peaceful life at home.

I finally got my criminal record expunged and my credit has been rebuilt after almost 12 years. So I'm an upstanding citizen again, in spite of the mess which my life used to be.
Since I could no longer work in nursing, I went back to school and am training for a job in medical insurance billing and coding.

I guess what I am trying to say is that even though your life is a mess now, it can be repaired. Here are my recommendations:
1. Don't do anything to make things worse.(I knew a guy who got a DUI and called his lawyer from jail. The guy's car was impounded so the lawyer drove to the jail, picked him up and drove him home. Well, they had two vehicles and as the guy stewed over everything he got mad and got in the other vehicle and got a second DUI THE SAME NIGHT! The second time he even vomited on the cop's boots. His wife had to deal then with two impounded cars.[/B

2. Take a couple days to get your health back and start making a plan to prevent this from ever happening again. My plan was to not fight to get my nursing license back even though a good lawyer could have done it for me. All it would take was one weak moment and I would have to go through all that misery again and believe me once was enough.

3. If you have any friends empoyed at the job that fired you, ask them what is being said about you and if there is any chance you could get hired back. I worked at a place that hired 30-40 drug offenders and people on probation because they knew
random drug tests would insure sober employees and if they called in sick the company called the P.O. to go check on them. It worked out well. The offenders had a job and the employer knew the employees would be sober and have good attendance.[/COLOR][/B]

CarolD

Good to know you were not injured or killed
or harmed another when you drank and drove.

I hope you find answers ..Recovery Rocks!

parentrecovers

when my daughter got her 2nd dui, a lawyer friend of ours visited her in her first rehab. he told her, "it's not about GETTING out of trouble, it's about STAYING out of trouble."

hugs to you, jackie. give yourself and your family time to heal. k