I am new here too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 63
I am new here too.
Hi
I joined yesterday ( a few hours ago really) because I need to connect with others who understand. My husband was clean for five years before I met him. Heroin is his DOC. He was on 5 ml of methadone in a program and weaned himself off that over the course of two more years after we got married. He started using again recently. I found out and I told him I wanted him to stop. He did and went through detox at home. He's now using mj every night and I am angry, hurt, and bewildered as well as numb. I don't understand why he would use again after almost nine years of not using, and I am very afraid that our lives together will come to an end. He knows how I feel about using, and I am not tolerant of it at all, yet I love the man. I don't feel at all well and look forward to anyone responding to this post. thanks.
I joined yesterday ( a few hours ago really) because I need to connect with others who understand. My husband was clean for five years before I met him. Heroin is his DOC. He was on 5 ml of methadone in a program and weaned himself off that over the course of two more years after we got married. He started using again recently. I found out and I told him I wanted him to stop. He did and went through detox at home. He's now using mj every night and I am angry, hurt, and bewildered as well as numb. I don't understand why he would use again after almost nine years of not using, and I am very afraid that our lives together will come to an end. He knows how I feel about using, and I am not tolerant of it at all, yet I love the man. I don't feel at all well and look forward to anyone responding to this post. thanks.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!
I'm sorry for the reason you are here, but this is a place FULL of some wonderful people with tons of ES&H (experience, strength and hope).
I understand that you love him, (I REALLY do!) but, for me, it came down to what I would/would not accept in my life.
If he's using, he's not participating in life. I'm a recovering addict, and if I use ANYTHING to "numb" myself, it is a HUGE problem. My ex is still using, which is why he's an EX!
Read around the posts here...lots of people going through similar situations.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry for the reason you are here, but this is a place FULL of some wonderful people with tons of ES&H (experience, strength and hope).
I understand that you love him, (I REALLY do!) but, for me, it came down to what I would/would not accept in my life.
If he's using, he's not participating in life. I'm a recovering addict, and if I use ANYTHING to "numb" myself, it is a HUGE problem. My ex is still using, which is why he's an EX!
Read around the posts here...lots of people going through similar situations.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 63
Hi again and thanks for responding.
yes I meant mary jane and as to how much he is using, I don't know. not much I don't think. he tells me it's to take the edge off and help him sleep. Last night he came to bed at 5 a.m. so it doesn't appear to be working. Maybe a joint or two at a time once or twice a day is my guess. He tells me it is so he can stay off of heroin, but to me it's just changing horses, not quitting. Perhaps I am being too harsh. thanks for listening.
yes I meant mary jane and as to how much he is using, I don't know. not much I don't think. he tells me it's to take the edge off and help him sleep. Last night he came to bed at 5 a.m. so it doesn't appear to be working. Maybe a joint or two at a time once or twice a day is my guess. He tells me it is so he can stay off of heroin, but to me it's just changing horses, not quitting. Perhaps I am being too harsh. thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glendale, CA
Posts: 19
Welcome to SR! I just joined a few days ago as well and this site has really helped me thru the days.
You are not being harsh, you are being realistic. Obviously it's harder to say than to actually do, but you need to stand your ground and be true to yourself. You say you're not tolerant but yet you're still allowing him to smoke pot. If you are totally against all drugs then you need to stick to what you believe in and make him understand that this is not the life you want to live. Read around and you'll find that there are alot of people out there that are going thru similiar situations and you can read the posts and it'll help you be stronger. Good luck with everything and don't give up.:praying
You are not being harsh, you are being realistic. Obviously it's harder to say than to actually do, but you need to stand your ground and be true to yourself. You say you're not tolerant but yet you're still allowing him to smoke pot. If you are totally against all drugs then you need to stick to what you believe in and make him understand that this is not the life you want to live. Read around and you'll find that there are alot of people out there that are going thru similiar situations and you can read the posts and it'll help you be stronger. Good luck with everything and don't give up.:praying
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Sunni))
I don't know about quitting the pot..not my thing, but I do know that quitting ANYTHING that has been numbing me out makes for, at least, a few rough days.
For me, quitting the dope was the easy part..it was learning to live life WITHOUT it that was hard...which is where recovery comes in.
No matter what HE does, keep the focus on YOU. If he feels rough, let him get through it. If he gets grumpy, don't let it bring you down. It's normal (we're mad that we're not getting our dope) but he can take out his frustration in other ways...walk, run, work in the yard, do dishes, etc.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I don't know about quitting the pot..not my thing, but I do know that quitting ANYTHING that has been numbing me out makes for, at least, a few rough days.
For me, quitting the dope was the easy part..it was learning to live life WITHOUT it that was hard...which is where recovery comes in.
No matter what HE does, keep the focus on YOU. If he feels rough, let him get through it. If he gets grumpy, don't let it bring you down. It's normal (we're mad that we're not getting our dope) but he can take out his frustration in other ways...walk, run, work in the yard, do dishes, etc.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to a s.r. it is so sad to me to read how an addict is clean for years & start using again. i am so sorrry for you & him too.FIRST OFF YOU CAN NOT MAKE HIM QUIT USING. MAKE THIS YOUR HOME, READ AROUND & LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE IS GOING TO USE IF HE IS GOING TO USE. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. FIND A MEETING TO GO TO. THEY MAKE EXCUSES TO USE WHEN THERE IS NOT ANY REASON BUT THEY WANT TO.
keep coming back & know we r here for you. my son is my addict & this site saved my sanity. prayers,
keep coming back & know we r here for you. my son is my addict & this site saved my sanity. prayers,
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
