GreenEyedGirl39

Just got off the phone with AH. He will be released from rehab tomorrow. I am happy. It seems like he gets it, but only time will tell. He has set up an account there to pay for continuing care classes in the evenings. He got his sponsor. He has all of his meeting set up. And he has set up a session with a therapist.

I am ready too. I have set up time with my own therapist. I found Al-anon and Nar-anon meetings for me. And I am working my Codependency Book and all the assignments. Plus I have this site.

We have both agreed to work with our independent therapists at first but will at some point (when the rawness heals) begin marriage counseling as well.

We have all the resources and a plan. But ultimately, it is up to each of us to do our own parts for ourselves. But I am no longer scared for the future, I am in the here and now doing what is best for me. And it feels really good.

Abundance

WOOT WOOT!!!!!!!! GREAT JOB!!!!!!! GREAT JOB!!!!

What I said and I still believe.... that I TOO am in recovery..... and if he loses the recovery.... guess what? I still have MINE!

You go girl! Nicely done...... !

Now go treat yourself to something where you don't think about ANY of this!

(that's what I'm going to do!)

GreenEyedGirl39

You know, this may sound strange, but I am glad that AH hit bottom. Although, the part where he almost died in an overdose of other medication (he was hooked on painkillers and tried to get off on his own because he was afraid that I would find out he was hooked, couldn't take the pain he was going through and took a bunch of sleeping pills to try and sleep through the withdrawal. Can we say stupid?)

Anyway, the point is, had he not done it, I would not have gotten so desperate, came here ranting and began to find the tools that I needed. I was so wrapped up in his addiction that I didn't know I was sick. What a gift that is. I now know that regardless what he does, I am free no matter what. Just like the 3 C's, I didn't cause it, I can't control it and the most important, I realize that I can not cure him. That is out of my hands and I am COMPLETELY powerless over it. But I sure can help myself get better. And that is what I truly needed all along. To stop the chaos in my life and find peace.

You know, last night I took my son to the library with me to get the Codependency book and as always, I get him some childrens book. But I haven't did bed time stories in a long while. I simply would send him to bed and put his favorite tv show on before bed so I could have a few moments to wallow in self pity. Not last night! I climbed in bed with him, popped popcorn and we read dinosaur books and giggled. I have always referred to myself as a good mother. And I am. But, I wasn't 100% there. I was letting my codependency rob me and my son of precious time. And we all know, they grow up so fast. I will never let that happen again.

I feel reborn. I know that sounds corny, but it's true.

BBD

Hi Greeneyedgirl~~I am so happy for you. Sounds like you have all your ducks in a row and I wish you content and happiness. Stay strong and work together to get your lives back on track. That lil guy of yours will notice that moms back so lets hope he can get dad back too!!!! Smiles, Bonnie

Spiritual Seeker

You are amazing !!
I am quite impressed that you have recaptured your connection to your son. This is SO important as he has been going though the stresses of addiction too which we know is a family disease. Way to begin the healing process.

It works when you work it...good for you.