sojourner

This question was raised within a previous thread.

I've talked to recovering addicts who, while still using, looked forward to their kids getting older so they could get high with them. My ex-husband also would have liked to have gotten high with his boys but feels i ruined that (!) except for the youngest who himself has gotten tripped up by addiction.

How many others out there have experienced a parent introducing their children to the world of getting high???

hello-kitty

My dad gave me a beer when I was 16. Does that count?

And my friends mom used to sit around and smoke pot with us (and her daughter) when we were in high school. She used to tell us she wanted to start a commune for unhappy teenagers where we could all just live in peace.

Does that count as introducing their children to the world of getting high?

Back then, I just thought she was the coolest mom ever. She had a giant hooka pipe.

SlvrMag

I was 25 before I would even smoke a cig in front of my mom! I have an 18 yr old son, 13 yr old daughter, and a 7 yr old son. I would NEVER participate in getting them high, no matter what the age!

My friend (whom I don't talk to anymore because she still uses) has been getting high (meth, pot...) with her mom since she was a teen. Yuk.

wendyarb

My ex, the alcoholic, the pot smoker and cocaine user, gets high off pot with his mom. I think that's why she's out of his face about the alcohol and cocaine issue, because that would mean if she's going to ask him to get help or stop then that would mean she would have to stop smoking pot herself.
I think it's pretty sick, especially if it's a life or death situation with hard core drugs.

ZombieWife

My husband said that when our daughter reached a certain age, he had no issue lighting up a joint with her so they could get high together. This was before I learned he was using meth. Even then I said, "over my dead body."

It's disgusting, imho. Absolutely disgusting that an addict would want someone to share in their addiction and validate that what they are doing is NOT wrong, that they would turn to their own child.

Done_With_It

The thought of that makes me sick. I would never bring anyone into my drama like that, let alone my kids....

justsomegirl

This is a very big worry for me. Just when I think that I am always looking for something to worry about ( he tries to turn things around on me by saying its all no big deal and I worry too much) I read things here that make me believe that I am not overreacting and that so many others worry about the same things that I do.

imallright

I always wondered how my AH would explain his use to the kids when they got old enough to figure it out. I knew that there was no way that I wanted them to believe it was OK to smoke weed. Well, when they did find out, they were like, "so what, it's just a little weed and he's not using anymore... no biggie.... yeah, right." They though I was the prude.

No way!!!! It's illegal and imo immoral to allow your kids to think this is ok. As a not so young anymore adult, I do drink a glass of wine with my Mom, but to me that is entirely different than someone with a substance abuse issue getting high with the kids!

Callie

Geeze - I cannot even imagine. As a parent I want to protect my kids from this AT ALL COSTS. Even if it means sacrificing MYSELF. Truely a sick, sick person is the only one who would throw their illness or teach this illness to their kids. I'm not an addict by the way, but I'd die for my kids. I would not kill them myself by leading them to addiction.

Edited to add...I didn't even fully read the original post, but what sick human being would look forward to their child being old enough to get high with. I look forward to my kids being old enough to go to college, get married, buy their first house, have kids. Never in my imagination could I ever fathom looking forward to getting high with them. Very sick twisted souls might, but they don't love themselves, let alone their kids to ever condone this on ANY level.

marle

My dad started smoking pot when he was in his late 50's. He bought it from my brother and later my dad would give my brother money to buy a pound and they would split whatever pot was left over after they made their money back. This all happened after I left home and I did not find out about it until just a few years ago. I was totally blown away. Especially since my brother had been picked up for pot when he was 16 and my dad was so angry about that. Addiction really doesn't know any bounds. Hugs, Marle

Done_With_It

Most don't start out that way, drugs steal your soul from you.
That's the sad reality of the drug world and what it does to people...

Pretty damn scary..
~~~~~~

Callie

not to disagree with you, but if you ALLOW drugs to steal YOUR soul - fine. But to also purposely steal your child's soul? Very sick..very sick. Maybe I should just remove myself from this thread because it makes my blood boil to the core and I'll probably end up offending someone from my stance.

I'm struggling BIG time to protect my kids from anything that I can about their fathers addiction. I cannot even fathom introducing it to them in their lives on any level EVER.

Done_With_It

You can disagree with me, it's okay.. :ghug3


I'm NOT saying it's right, nor am I saying it doesn't disgust me to the core.
Just saying drugs make people do things that are lower than life....
That's why I got out of it, I started to see the cold hard truth of it, and it
scared me.

My Mom's X Friend did this to her child, she was a good (at one time) Mom gone to hell.
She no longer has the kids thank god, but give her daughter drugs,
(I think she was like 11 years old) was
Exactly what she did, she didn't want to deal with her I suppose.
The lady was literally two different people.

outtolunch

Playing devil's advocate here.....

Putting aside the legal issue for a moment, what's the difference between getting high or getting drunk with your adult child? Many, many parents do this.

BTW, I don't drink or use any drugs. Never did and never will, so sharing the experience is not an issue for me.

Done_With_It

I'd say for one drugs are illegal and you can go to jail for it.
Two most drugs are highly addictive and there's a reason they
are illegal.

You can go out to dinner and have a glass of wine with your parents legally,
but if you go out and snort a line, then that would be quite wrong.
You can go to jail for even buying the drugs.

I don't know, I don't see them the same, but that's just me.. :atv

Good question though, it did make me think... still has me thinking
a little... lol

IPT

My g/f smokes with her Mom. It makes me sick to the core. In fact she is trying to quit and told her mom that. Had 5 days clean and decided to go to her moms. I thought "bad idea" and told her so, too many triggers. Who do you think gave her a pipe? Yup, mom. Blew me away. Luckily it upset my g/f too. That her mom knew she was trying to quit and just gave it to her without hesitation. It's hard enough for addicts to quit and give up their friends. Imagine if your "friends" are your family too. One of her biggest struggles now is that her mom, who should be a loving and caring parent is "the enemy". We watched "Intervention" and she cried, saying that she could never have anyone care about her like that (because her family is so messed up).

In her eyes she has to abandon her mom, and family, just to get healthy. Now she is afraid once she gets clean her mom will push her away and get an attitude that her dtr things she is "too good for them".

Any parent that does drugs with their child obviously has some serious problems themselves. Yet another example of how things get passed from generation to generation. Strange thing is just last night my g/f told me she hated her mothers actions (supossedly pre-drugs) when she was younger and couldn't wait to get away from her. Now she has many of the same traits and uses drugs [I]with[I] her. How and when the transition occurred is a mystery.

Sadder then sad if you ask me. Clearly it happens though. Makes me sick.

cinderellawkids

From many young adult addicts Ive talked to, its not uncommon to have smoked with their parents at some point. I have to say myself when I was 19 and 20, my parents were going through a party phase and started hanging with my friends that were smoking weed and later I ran into people I knew had used with my husband, at my parents house ina seaparate setting.
Thank goodness my parents worked through this phase and my younger sister knows nothing about it

stefanie

My very sick axh used to drink beer and smoke pot with my boys and their
friends when they were about 17 and 16. I suppose he was trying to relive
his days as a hippie, back in the seventies.
He had custody of them every other weekend, I tried to stop it, but-long
story- i ended up being the bad guy and he was the so-called fun dad. I
dont think i can ever forgive him for that stuff.

hello-kitty

My ex's mom allowed him and all his friends to smoke crack in her house (as an adult). She allowed him to grow his pot in the basement (as a minor).

She did all this because she loved him and didn't want him on the streets.

She didn't use drugs with him (well she is a bit of a pill-head, so while she didn't use the same drugs, she was using drugs), but she condoned his use by accepting it in her own home.

Do you think that's nearly the same thing?

justanothrdrunk

Well... my son will be 3 next month. Haven't gotten high with him.

There was a time when I would have thought that to be a fun thing, getting high with my kids after they were in their teens. That has changed. I think it's part of the sickness. My brain was twisted in so many different ways back when. Plus there's the added myth out there that some drugs (grass) are harmless.

I've learned so much since then, not only about myself, but some additional and relatively new facts about drugs. With modern brain imaging techniques, there's all sorts of things about the effects drugs (even grass) have on the brain that were unknown only 10 years ago.