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Old 08-13-2008, 06:57 AM
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I'm new

OK...trying to figure out how this works...I'm pretty slow when it comes to computer stuff. I need and want to quit drinking. Basically am 60 yr old. single lady, have good life, live alone. I like to bring home a big bottle of wine and guzzle it down. Been doing this for so long and every time, the next morning I want to quit for good.
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:00 AM
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let it grow!
 
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nice to meet you, roger2. nothin' much to figure out here - just keep reading and posting wherever and whenever to want

are you thinking about aa or any other support group?

keep reaching out! hugs, k
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:02 AM
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You've come to the right place, roger2! Ditto to Parentrecovers, have a seat and start reading...Lots of love and support here for anyone who wants to join in!
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:08 AM
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don't like AA

Thanks! I don't like AA at all. It just doesn't work for me. I've never liked clubs, I quit the brownies when I was 7 or 8. My problem is that I can so successfully hide my drinking problem since I live out in the woods. I want to be healthy now. I'm getting old.
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:10 AM
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Roger 2,

Well the first step is admitting you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable... It's the only step out of 12 that we have to get perfect.

This site is a good first step, but I would highly recommend going to an A.A. meeting, it is the best thing I have ever done. Do not worry about being judged or being accepted, just go and listen, I'm sure that, like me, you will hear your story.

I was alone, isolated and hated myself, now I am not alone, have the best friends I have made in my lifetime and I no longer hate myself. I'm proud to be an alcoholic in recovery and you can be too!

Good luck,

John
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:29 AM
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can't do AA

I've been to AA meetings, gagged on the smoke and drank the nasty coffee.
I don't like being told I'm powerless really and my life isn't unmanageable at all. I don't do crazy things....just come home, drink and go to sleep. I quit for two years on my own once . I also don't like sitting around chatting with people about drinking. Sooooooooo.....There is an all women meeting here in town I might try...
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:34 AM
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Give that meeting a shot. What have you got to lose? You could meet people in the same situation as you, and who understand.

I hope you go, and wishing you the best.
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:39 AM
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Roger2, just find as many resources as you can. I use a patchwork quilt of solutions: AA, this website, a therapist, an outpatient substance abuse program. I am throwing everything but the kitchen sink at myself to stay sober.
Sure, I don't like some things about AA, because I am an athiest. But I view it as a tray of chocolates, I pick the things I like and skip over other things. I find AA very useful.
AA is not the only game in town either, if you search around, there are alternative groups that are not religious.
Welcome BTW, and keep coming back to SR!!!
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:42 AM
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new friends

I really will try and make myself come down off the mountain and go to the ladies meeting. If I don't, It really is good to know, that I can still talk to people on this website and still be in the woods.
My daughters both drink and we always have so much fun when we get together...the only consequences I suffer are that I feel like crap the next day. I wish I had a better reason......it would be easier.
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Old 08-13-2008, 08:10 AM
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Welcome Roger2! Glad that you found us there is a lot of support here! Please check out the other forums and the stickies located at the top of the forums-they are filled with a wealth of information-

Please keep posting we are here for you!
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Old 08-13-2008, 09:40 AM
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hi. i'm new to this site too. i know how you feel about not liking AA. who wants to admit defeat, right? but honestly you'll be able to pick apart pretty much any program you approach--the point is that what you're doing now isn't working for you at all. when i first went to meetings i would look at people and just see how i wasn't like them, because i never did this or that or because of age/racial/religious differences. but now i fight to look for the similarities between us, because we're all there to try and stay sober and show each other support. good luck to you.
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Old 08-13-2008, 11:22 AM
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too much bull

My problem is that I don't believe all the stuff I hear about alcoholism, and many other things for that matter.
Genes make proteins...that's all they do. It's a long journey from a protein to an actual behavior. I don't believe alcoholism is a disease. What? Does a drunk sneeze on you and then you catch alcoholism??? Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic....don't believe that either. I don't believe in the whole "powerless" thing and leaving it up to a higher power.
So I get really negative when I hear all these things at AA meetings. People drink alcohol because it feels good.
It's a habit, it's addictive (fun things are) and basically you just have to kick yourself in the butt and quit. Need to eat healthy, think good thoughts, exercise, and figure out why getting wasted is better than not getting wasted.
Thanks to all who have wished me luck. Maybe that's all it boils down to.
Anyways.....gonna try again. I guess I can do what I do in church, when I go. Think my own thoughts and just realize that everyone in the church is there because they want goodness in their lives...and ignore the details.
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Old 08-13-2008, 11:33 AM
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Old 08-13-2008, 12:08 PM
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Hi And Welcome Roger2.

Yeah...it really boils down to if you feel you can stop being addicted to alcohol. Forget the genes if you want, but right now would you say you are physically addicted to alcohol. Can you make it one day? Can you make it 3 days? Have you been able to try?

I could make it 2 or 3 days, and then the need to drink would be too overpowering for me, and I would go out and buy some more.

I'm a person who really needs to have help to stop. The women's meeting sounds like if could be interesting. I had to promise my kids I would stop isolating and drinking, and get out and be social. This is now a really important part of my recovery tool belt.

I too am an atheist who attends AA meetings. I'm a sucker for love and support. I need lots of it!
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Old 08-13-2008, 12:43 PM
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safety in numbers

Thanks, Log Cabin. I suppose I need help from other people too. I can quit for a few days, even a week but by then I'm feeling good and ready to drink it up.
I live by myself in a beautiful little house in the woods. I actually am "elated" at times coming home on Friday, big bottle of wine, some chips and salsa, a DVD...and I'm thinking...THANK GOD, I'm alone and can do whatever I want. Woo hoo.
Then I wake up in the morning feeling terrible...ready to quit again and again and again. Once I woke up and I'd tipped over my glass next to the bed and it must have landed on my little dogs head - his head was purple. Kind of awful but pretty funny too.
I'm scared to think what I'm doing to my health. I'm 60 yrs. old and have been doing this a long time. My daughter is getting married in October and I want to look great for her wedding...not all red faced and bleary eyed!
Regarding the genetic thing and a lot of other stuff...most people simple would not believe the line of bull they are fed daily through the news and even so called scientific studies. "Studies have shown"...can mean ANYTHING.
Gotta do this thing.
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Old 08-13-2008, 01:15 PM
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I was certain that all of the NA/AA stuff was hogwash.

(I found out later though that in reality I was the hogwash, lying to myself & others, making the same mistakes over & over, looking for excuses, being critical, saying I was going to do something and never doing it.)

The NA/AA program was everything people said it was - once I tried doing it.

Just for me, it is the greatest show on earth.
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Old 08-13-2008, 01:19 PM
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I'm a 76 year old woman who drank for 32 years...wine was my favorite, too, although I had tried just about all of it over the years. I knew how to stop...did it frequently...but never knew how to stay stopped until AA. That was over 28 years ago, and I'm still sober. I come to Sober Recovery because I'm no longer able to get to regular AA meetings...and I still miss them terribly.

You sound like a reasonably intelligent person, so I'm disappointed that you would be so dismissive toward a 73 year old program of recovery that has helped millions of alcoholics. There is a saying that no one is too stupid for AA, but many are too smart for AA. You can argue forever the nature vs nurture theories...bottom line is, if alcohol made us "feel so good", none of us would ever want to quit drinking.

BTW...there are plenty of non-smoking meetings now; and many of the folks bring their own coffee from McDonald's, so they don't have to drink that nasty stuff. After all, the purpose of the meetings is to learn how to stay sober by sharing your experience, strength, and hope...if you manage to find a bit of a social life there, too, so much the better.
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Old 08-13-2008, 02:33 PM
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in support

I didn't mean to sound dismissive about AA. It's great when someone is saved by this. I've dropped in on meetings at times in my life and I never felt comfortable...ever. I guess, cause deep down I know as anyone who is truly honest with themselves is that the willingness and ability to quit has to come from only one place - inside of us. No club, medicine, therapy, intervention can work if we don't have the courage and strength inside.
I think a meeting of all women would be supportive and like you said, it would be nice to meet people who are struggling with drinking...find out what they do. I just don't want to do that 12 step thing and "study the steps", gaaaaaaaaaaa ...I'd rather just get together and play scrabble.
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Old 08-13-2008, 02:37 PM
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Roger2... I love reading your posts. I 'see' so much of me in them.

Honestly - please do keep coming back.
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Old 08-13-2008, 02:38 PM
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welcome roger2 you are in the right place, there are other options besides AA such as s.m.a.r.t. recovery and lifering. There are links to these sites on this site when you look under resources I think..
in any case I have been sober for 16 days now, and do not attend AA, although I would not rule it out. I am finding this site to be a great source of support and encouragement.
thanks for your post I look forward to reading them =) noba
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