dave47

I am about 11 months sober, and feel as though I have been rock solid throughout. I have avoided as many of the trigger situations as possible and concentrated on my family, work and exercise.
Tonight I have my first big test and it is one I can't get out of and feel bad that I don't even want to go. It's my brothers stag night and I am the best man. I am returning the favour to him, and if anyone else had asked then I would have declined.
I feel good within myself and feel I can cope, but I know that the pressure will be on when everyone else reverts to being a carefree teenager again, and looking at me as if I have two heads when I decline a drink. If anyone has been in a similar situation I would appreciate knowing how you managed,
also any positive vibes would be welcome.
Best wishes all for the weekend.

CarolD

I'd carry around a Tonic with line
let others assume it has Gin or Vodka.

When someone offers to get one for you
"No Thanks I have one"
I've done that often and left sober.

If it's a beer party ...I don't know.

Say your driving? Staying in shape?

Best to you and your brother

JigOvLife

Little white lie that you're on anti-biotics (?)
Don't envy ya bud, day 39 and I've just turned down a party with old friends I haven't seen in 2 months. It's raining and I've just watched Ocean's 13 and it was awful, truly dire. Not my favourite sober day.

Pixy1

Dave, Remind your self of the reasons you stopped in the first place and how it would feel to wake up tommorow morning with that awful feeling of "OH MY G*D, WHAT HAVE I DONE" that gut wrenching self loath
You have come so far and doing so well you are an insperation to us all.
Have a fantastic sober evening, when you see the state everyone else gets into you will be soooooooooo happy you didnt do the same

Let us know how you get on

dave47

Many thanks, all went well last night even though it seemed to last forever. I explained my situation to those who asked and as far as everyone else was concerned, they probably thought I was drinking. Just the Wedding to get over now, and with the kids and other family ( not just the boys) I expect that to be easier. Never thought I would see the day when I go to a stag do and at 2am I am drinking a cup of tea!
I normally go for a run on a Sunday morning but as I slept over at my brothers that couldn't be done so I am going to go out on the bike instead.
Great to rise with a clear head unlike everyone else.

Anna

Good for you Dave!

I hope you enjoy the upcoming Wedding!

Ananda

Glad you posted Dave.....I didn't see it in time to respond..sounds like you found a way to walk skillfully through the situation.

Hope you have a good day today as well!

LogCabin

That is so awesome Dave! You passed the test! And there will be more.

But always keep in mind of what the crap does to you. And hate it with a passion.

sailorjohn

Congratulations, nice that those occasions when social commitments have us attending drinking functions are few and far between. And we can wake up the following morning and remember what it used to be like, and be grateful we're not in that place anymore.

tanyapmc

Way to go! Thanks for being a great example!

bostonluv

You got through it like a champ!

Dee74

well done Dave
D

Pixy1

Dave what can I say? I dont even know you but i'm so proud of you! :ghug3
If you can get through a stag night you can get through anything

ghal

Great Dave! I am only 16 days sober and have already been in 3 tough situations. I do not want to yet tell folks about my status so I order a Sprite with Lime and no one even thinks to ask. To be honest, I act the same way whether I drink or not. I was never a drunk, just drank too much. I can't remember the last time I was actually drunk. I guess my tolerance level was really high. I can only imagine what I would've blown if pulled over at times.

dave47

Well my brothers Wedding went well and I fulfilled all my duties without any problems and with a clear head. Recent events have made me realise just how much I functioned in what would be stressful situations to myself, by drinking my way through it. I toasted the bride and groom with a glass of water and amazed myself by giving a clear speech which was well received. All it took was a bit of thought, preparation and a couple of prayers. I didn't intend to get caught up at the bar too much but it seemed that I couldn't get away from it as a constant stream of old friends who I hadn't seen for 15 to 20 years wanted to catch up. At some point nearly all of them commented that I wasn't drinking and on explaining where I was at, they all said I was looking well and that all those years ago they knew I had a problem.
The thoughts of this Wedding have cast a shadow over the whole year for me( not that I would ever admit that to family), but now I feel that when these big events come round-which they will, then I can face them confidently and enjoy the future.
Looking ahead I am running a 10k race in October and hopefully a half marathon next year; these obtainable targets should help.
Many people commented that apart from the grey hair, I haven't changed much in 20 years. Well if that is the case then I am lucky because I certainly don't deserve that to be so. Now I must continue to work on myself and my health and happiness.
I can't get as much access to SR as a few months back, but this site will always have a place in my heart. Many fears and questions have been answered here and the support is second to none. For at least 6 months SR was my silent buddy in the daily battle to turn my life around and for that I will always be grateful.
At the stage I am at now, I feel that I am in control and as long as I take it a day at a time that will continue, many thanks to you all.