My Horrible awful no good rotten night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2
My Horrible awful no good rotten night
I spent the day at the scrapbook store scrapping! I had such a nice time I relaxed, spent time with a friend. Really enjoyed myself
Then I picked my grandson up to spend the night with us. And took him & daughter out to dinner.
Phone rings it’s AH says well the cats got out. Oh BTY he’s drunk off his butt!
Seems since I was not home to pick him up from work, I had the nerve to go out and enjoy myself and expected him to get a ride home! His A father picked him up & they sat & drank.
So he gets home & decided I am being a terrible wife for not being here when he got home with dinner on the table (he KNEW weeks ago I had this day planned)
So he proceeds to open the front door & throw everything in the kitchen and family room out on the lawn! :wtf2
So we rush home my 18 year old daughter is in hysterics over her cats, I call my older daughter tell her to come get the baby because I will not have him here while AH is drunk. After watching my daughter cry to the point shes throwing up and searching the neighborhood I convince her we will look tomorrow when its light out and that I am sure we will find them. She falls asleep. BTY the cats came home! I was so looking forward to keeping the baby tonight I promised him he could stay tonight, and I had to break that promise. My daughter is preg again & really needed a quiet night with her hubbie. And I took that away from her.
I am just So pissed off! Its not like I was out screwing some man! I was with a 50 year old woman sticking photos on paper! I can’t even do anything I feel like I have to be home to babysit his ass so he does not go get drunk.
I am so past done I just am done
Thank you for listening I really just need to vent!
Then I picked my grandson up to spend the night with us. And took him & daughter out to dinner.
Phone rings it’s AH says well the cats got out. Oh BTY he’s drunk off his butt!
Seems since I was not home to pick him up from work, I had the nerve to go out and enjoy myself and expected him to get a ride home! His A father picked him up & they sat & drank.
So he gets home & decided I am being a terrible wife for not being here when he got home with dinner on the table (he KNEW weeks ago I had this day planned)
So he proceeds to open the front door & throw everything in the kitchen and family room out on the lawn! :wtf2
So we rush home my 18 year old daughter is in hysterics over her cats, I call my older daughter tell her to come get the baby because I will not have him here while AH is drunk. After watching my daughter cry to the point shes throwing up and searching the neighborhood I convince her we will look tomorrow when its light out and that I am sure we will find them. She falls asleep. BTY the cats came home! I was so looking forward to keeping the baby tonight I promised him he could stay tonight, and I had to break that promise. My daughter is preg again & really needed a quiet night with her hubbie. And I took that away from her.
I am just So pissed off! Its not like I was out screwing some man! I was with a 50 year old woman sticking photos on paper! I can’t even do anything I feel like I have to be home to babysit his ass so he does not go get drunk.
I am so past done I just am done
Thank you for listening I really just need to vent!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
Wow, fedupp, I can really relate to the part about getting caught off-guard. Everything can be going along swimmingly, and then you walk into hell in your own house. Your AH really got away with some nasty behavior. Wonder what would have happened if you called the police and let them deal with him? Throwing everything in the living room and kitchen outside would have made some ideal evidence when the police drove up. Spending a night in jail and giving you some peace after everything he pulled seems reasonable.
That's so cruddy that he waited for your special night to drink. I'm familiar with it happening. I think all they know is that you're going to be away from the house, and when the opportunity knocks, they go for it.
How about the next time you plan to have your grandson spend the night, you ask your AH to go stay at his father's house since he blew last night so bad.
That's so cruddy that he waited for your special night to drink. I'm familiar with it happening. I think all they know is that you're going to be away from the house, and when the opportunity knocks, they go for it.
How about the next time you plan to have your grandson spend the night, you ask your AH to go stay at his father's house since he blew last night so bad.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Hi Fed,
This used to be my life also. I had an AH who was a terrible drunk, very blaming, and not much of a life for myself. He sobered up for 14 years during which time we raised two kids, then relapsed during their teenage years.
Having been through the horrors of active drinking in the home, the second time around for me was just as terrible as the first. Your scrapbooking story zinged me with the memory of the last time my ex decided to drink while still living in my home (before I said go)--I left to go get some fabric from the fabric store only to return home to a relapse and a two day disappearance. I made a final decision at that point, not out of anger but more out of total despair for myself. I knew I couldn't help him stop, but I also knew that I was losing myself right along with this relapse. I didn't want to hate this man, I just wanted to have a life of steadiness, calm, and peace. I was 45 years old and was tired. I knew that this was not a life I wanted to live one more day. Separation and divorce gave me that life. No more drunken, yelling, finger-pointing incidents has allowed me to explore myself, allowed my now older kids to come home to a peaceful house knowing exactly what a happy home is.
I really don't miss him, Fed.
This used to be my life also. I had an AH who was a terrible drunk, very blaming, and not much of a life for myself. He sobered up for 14 years during which time we raised two kids, then relapsed during their teenage years.
Having been through the horrors of active drinking in the home, the second time around for me was just as terrible as the first. Your scrapbooking story zinged me with the memory of the last time my ex decided to drink while still living in my home (before I said go)--I left to go get some fabric from the fabric store only to return home to a relapse and a two day disappearance. I made a final decision at that point, not out of anger but more out of total despair for myself. I knew I couldn't help him stop, but I also knew that I was losing myself right along with this relapse. I didn't want to hate this man, I just wanted to have a life of steadiness, calm, and peace. I was 45 years old and was tired. I knew that this was not a life I wanted to live one more day. Separation and divorce gave me that life. No more drunken, yelling, finger-pointing incidents has allowed me to explore myself, allowed my now older kids to come home to a peaceful house knowing exactly what a happy home is.
I really don't miss him, Fed.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 9
Hi fed
thanks for the post. Its still is my life. I can relate to everything. My AH is a binge drinker. I get 4 to 5 weeks of love and peace and then all of a sudden its **** around here. (only drinking beer on a Sat night like everyone else) Then he drinks non stop for a week - until his body cant do it anymore. The back to the 4 weeks of bliss. Just waking up and realizing the pattern.
The police came to our house one time. He got mad at something I said or didnt do (cant remember) and started to smash up furniture - noticed he stayed away from his beloved TV and stuff. Anyway I was shouting at him - try not to do that anymore - and then he said call the ******* police then. He picked up the phone and dialed it as a threat - I didnt want them to come because I was in denial and didnt want the cops that I knew to see how I lived. Well they traced the number and came anyway. Gave him a lecture while they stepped over a broken mirror. Told him to get help and of course at that stage I told them it will be ok. When they left he just carried on drinking in the bedroom.
Another time he said he wanted to kill himself. I called a help line and they told me he has to be the one on the phone. He wouldnt. They didnt tell me but they called the police. Once again there is the cop I know in my house. AH was trashed. Ambalance arrived and carted him off to the hospital. I went to see him and he shouted at me blaming me for everything and how could I do this to him!
Writing on these posts really is making me realise that something has to change and it is going to be me.
thanks everyone for helping me.
thanks for the post. Its still is my life. I can relate to everything. My AH is a binge drinker. I get 4 to 5 weeks of love and peace and then all of a sudden its **** around here. (only drinking beer on a Sat night like everyone else) Then he drinks non stop for a week - until his body cant do it anymore. The back to the 4 weeks of bliss. Just waking up and realizing the pattern.
The police came to our house one time. He got mad at something I said or didnt do (cant remember) and started to smash up furniture - noticed he stayed away from his beloved TV and stuff. Anyway I was shouting at him - try not to do that anymore - and then he said call the ******* police then. He picked up the phone and dialed it as a threat - I didnt want them to come because I was in denial and didnt want the cops that I knew to see how I lived. Well they traced the number and came anyway. Gave him a lecture while they stepped over a broken mirror. Told him to get help and of course at that stage I told them it will be ok. When they left he just carried on drinking in the bedroom.
Another time he said he wanted to kill himself. I called a help line and they told me he has to be the one on the phone. He wouldnt. They didnt tell me but they called the police. Once again there is the cop I know in my house. AH was trashed. Ambalance arrived and carted him off to the hospital. I went to see him and he shouted at me blaming me for everything and how could I do this to him!
Writing on these posts really is making me realise that something has to change and it is going to be me.
thanks everyone for helping me.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
((( fedupp )))
In times like these, I used to repeat the serenity prayer over and over and OVER again. It kept my mind from spinning out of control. I also was careful how I spoke to my ex, NOT because I didn't want to upset him, but because I didnt want to say something I would regret and would have to make amends for later.
Hopefully you can find some peace and quiet today to enjoy yourself. I've always been intrigued by scrap booking - it looks very fun and creative. Is it relaxing for you?
In times like these, I used to repeat the serenity prayer over and over and OVER again. It kept my mind from spinning out of control. I also was careful how I spoke to my ex, NOT because I didn't want to upset him, but because I didnt want to say something I would regret and would have to make amends for later.
Hopefully you can find some peace and quiet today to enjoy yourself. I've always been intrigued by scrap booking - it looks very fun and creative. Is it relaxing for you?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 530
The scenes they make are the worst. I would find myself running like crazy trying to head off a scene or control one already happening.
I am just out 2 weeks and as sad as I am the peace in our home is incredible. My AH is a binge drinker too who doesn't think he has a problem. We have a baby together and I feel sadness for her, but I really don't miss him and his drama.
Do what you need to do. You are not crazy. This is your life.
I am just out 2 weeks and as sad as I am the peace in our home is incredible. My AH is a binge drinker too who doesn't think he has a problem. We have a baby together and I feel sadness for her, but I really don't miss him and his drama.
Do what you need to do. You are not crazy. This is your life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Heya feddup--
What a NIGHTMARE. You came home to a blitz.
I remember scenes like this with my father from my childhood. Just ugly, unnatural, bizarre, and scary scenes. And then the following days of either worse scenes or gloom doom and recrimination and unbearable tension in the house.....it was a horrible way to live as a kid. I hope your 18 yr old has some good literature on alcoholism or maybe can go to an AlAteen or AlAnon meeting.
Sending you a big (((((HUG)))) and prayers that you find some peace of mind today...
:praying
Peace,
B.
What a NIGHTMARE. You came home to a blitz.
I remember scenes like this with my father from my childhood. Just ugly, unnatural, bizarre, and scary scenes. And then the following days of either worse scenes or gloom doom and recrimination and unbearable tension in the house.....it was a horrible way to live as a kid. I hope your 18 yr old has some good literature on alcoholism or maybe can go to an AlAteen or AlAnon meeting.
Sending you a big (((((HUG)))) and prayers that you find some peace of mind today...
:praying
Peace,
B.
God's Kid
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,820
Nothing like a tantrum to reinforce 'what a bad wife you are'.
Tounge in cheek.
Hope you didn't pick the stuff up off the front lawn!
Let him clean up his own mess....he might not be so keen on throwing it all out there next time....
Take it easy eh.
:ghug3
Tounge in cheek.
Hope you didn't pick the stuff up off the front lawn!
Let him clean up his own mess....he might not be so keen on throwing it all out there next time....
Take it easy eh.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 37
yes i too can relate all too well. I have had 2 dining room chairs broken, a lamp broken when AH and my son got into it, he thrown every shred of clothing I have all over the bedroom, he even got so mad at me one night, he put his brand new grill on back of his truck and said he was leaving my no good butt for good and lo and behold, the grill flew off the truck and broke into soooo many pieces that it could not be used. They do the most messed up things. Its like they think they should do the destruction while they are doing it, but the next morning, when sobered up, they realize what they really done and can't redo their crap. 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
